My 2 year old won't talk, will he ever?!

[faithandrob]

He was 2 earlier this month.

No speech. Nothing. Won't say a word. Occasionally babbles.

I try to encourage speech in various ways, such as speaking to him all the time, him being around other people, reading, but he won't engage with any of it.

If your child wasn't speaking at 2, when did they start to speak?

I'm so worried

How is his understanding? Does he listen and react appropriately to ‘lets go out’ (runs and gets shoes or coat). ‘Do you want a snack’ (smiles and indicates positive). ‘Come over here’ (runs over to you). ‘Where’s your dodo?’ (Finds it or points to it).

I presume you're getting professional help with this (I hope so at any rate).

I do recall a thread a few years ago where a poster was overwhelmed that her 9 year old had finally managed to say "mummy." I also have friends whose children have signed a few words after this age.

So it's not unheard of. Hugs in the mean time till someone more knowledgeable comes along.

Mine wasn't talking at all at 23 months, despite clearly understanding everything and communicating really well in other ways. I was so worried about the lack of speech I called the health visitor, and the very next day the little monkey said his first words. We're now about 4 months on from that point and it's all just exploded and he's talking in full sentences. I do think some just take longer than others and your son is probably just getting there in his own time.

It's so hard not to worry though, I know. Do you have any other concerns? Does his hearing seem good? Does he follow instructions? Respond to his name? Make eye contact and communicate with you in other ways?

Can you taken him to a Speech and Language drop in session at your local children's centre? They are usually very good at giving advice and make appropriate referrals if needed.

DD had said some words prior to turning 2 but just before her 2nd birthday she had dropped all her words and was just babbling. I took her to a drop in clinic and the therapist picked up some red flags for autism. She had her diagnosis at 3 year, 3 months. She did start talking though, I think it was a couple of months after referral. Her speech development has never followed the usual pattern though and has been sporadic. She's 5 now and has a fantastic vocabulary!

If you are worried, seek advice. Your HV or GP can perhaps refer to SALT if there is no drop in?

DTS1 was a late speaker OP, partly due to severe glue ear. As @Happyspud says, does he understand what you're saying but just not speak back? Or completely ignore you/ not understand?

DTS1 had speech therapy (NHS) and has just had grommets fitted. Worth getting his hearing tested if you think that might be the issue.

OTOH, I didn't speak a word till 3.5 with no hearing issues. DM thinks I was just grumpy at being presented with a younger sibling I didn't want

He does not respond to me at all really For example; he doesn't answer to his name. I know he isn't just ignoring as I can see his face, no recollection is traceable. I know he isn't death because he will respond to the sound of a crisp packet or Peppa Pig being put on.

He does not point, won't follow my finger or respond to me if I point. He won't respond to anything suggestive, not even something extreme such as 'OMG look at that! Wow!'.

This all makes working with him extremely tiring. I feel so bad for complaining like this He's such a beautiful boy. But it's just everything I can think of to help him doesn't work as there is 0 engagement, I get nothing back. I can't read a book to him or show him something. It's not even that he's ignoring me, it's like it just doesn't register with him.

He does not play. Will not acknowledge other children his own age/older at all. It's like they are not there. He will remove himself from the situation if a child tries playing with him/alongside him.

He doesn't do imaginative play. He won't pretend to feed a doll or answer the phone, for example. Not interested in it anyway.

The only thing he does is stack and put away. Stack and put away. He likes to build blocks or lines toys up, then put them away, then get them out again. He won't do that with bath toys though, he has a bucket full. If you put the bucket full in and leave the bucket by the side, he will promptly put them all away and look a bit miffed that they were put in his bath water

He likes to stack food ifnits something like waffles etc. He will stack, unstackand eat one, then stack again. On repeat until the meal is finished. He is otherwise a fantastic eater and likes food.

He does have some eye contact, for example we often bath together and he likes for me to play 'where's bubba?'. He looks at me in the eye with his big beautiful eyes. But he won't copy me/play ball. Just likes to watch. I don't get any eye contact otherwise during the day.

He makes odd hand/finger twiddling when he's a little bit embarrassed to see someone (he usually only does this for his aunty). She will bellow in a loud voice HELLOOO YOU! And he will smile and bend his neck, and hand twiddle. He's done this before for me too, when I've brought food out to him.

A friend of mine in high school had a little brother who wouldn’t speak at 2.5. I think even at almost 3 but I might be misremembering. He could understand speech and would point at things he wanted. The whole family was very concerned about it but he did eventually start speaking and grew up to be an average boy with average language skills and no special needs.

So sorry to drop feed; I keep feeling as if I will reach a max word count for each post

I have had the HV involved. She done her own test and a 2 year check, the results were very concerning. He has been referred to a team who will assess him.

I have been told on the day there will be 6/7 different doctors, all with different specialities. For example, speech and language, paediatric, dietician. Then will then decide which of those don't need to be incoelbwd and the remaining people left who are deemed relevant to his needs will stay on and assess again. Then he will be seen again in another 6 months to check for any changes.

It's a long wait for the referral, average it takes to get a slot is 6 months according to my HV

Have a read of this. Remember, many clever people didn't talk until they were way over three years old.

alphamom.com/parenting/toddlers-who-line-up-toys/

Hmmm, I would seek advice from SALT or HV/GP. There are loads of resources to help with communication out there such as Makaton and pecs, visual aids etc. I went on a brilliant course as part of DD's SALT called More than Words and it worked on different levels from completely non verbal to early partner stage.

With the right support you will be able to communicate with him. Totally understand that it must be very upsetting for you right now, I was very worried about DD at the same age. But there is help out there and he might just have a speech/comunication delay.

My son didn’t say a word till he was nearly 3. We went to speech therapists, he had hearing tests, we saw doctors etc. Nothing seemed wrong.
Apart from the fact he had an older sister who spoke for him all the time! He was just letting her do it all for him. He’s 8 now and talks constantly about everything....all day!

My son sounds like yours.

Mine is autistic, he only started speaking at 3. It just happened. But his vocab is amazing and you'd never guess he was so late. His social skills are improving through school etc. His sleeping hit the skids at 3 and he only sleeps at all with melatonin.

His symptoms were quite marked but have eased off as he's grown up a bit eg stimming, obsessions and ritualistic behaviour have all calmed down. I was pretty devastated when he was 2 and 3 as he behaved so oddly...you wouldn't really see him as anything but a shy clever child now. I'm just putting that out there are i would have been so relieved if somebody had told me that things can improve simply through the normal progression of child development.

Ahhh, so there is already a referral. This is good, although it might seem concerning at this moment, it does means that at least you will receive support, should it be needed.

From all your additional information, it could well be autism or something similar. But it’s positive that he’s being properly assessed and hopefully will be able to access support if you need it.

Thanks for everyone who's commented

I just have so many questions. And some of them may sound so mean, such as will he ever be 'normal' or will he be an odd his whole life? I have a friend with ASD, she's extremely clever and socially seems to fly but apparently girls/women hide it better and can put on a mask better than boys, which does worry me

How autistic does a child need to be before they require a special needs school?

I just have so many questions that I can't really ask a health professional since he has no diagnosis

Another terrifying this is I remember a friend's sister having autism when I was younger. I don't know how severe it was but she just rocked back and fourth almost constantly and seemed constantly elsewhere and severely disabled in her mannerisms etc.

Could it be that my son also has that type? It's just so frightening. I want to walk out of the door sometimes and then I picture his little face and just cry

OP all you can do for now is talk, talk and talk some more to him, until you have a definitive answer from the experts. Keep a note of what you are doing, and how often.

Read familiar stories/songs over and over and start missing words - just give him time to fill in the blanks - like "twinkle twinkle little........star". or "That's not my tractor its tyres are too ........bumpy"

Reward any attempt to vocalise an answer.

As two option questions - do you want juice or water. Wait for him to indicate a preference, even if its a grunt.

Repeat things over and over - where are your boots? SHall we find your boots? Here are you boots! One boot, Two boots. COme and put on your boots. one boot two boots. Yeay boots! WHeres mummy's boots? etc etc etc

read with him several times a day and ask /comment on what he can see on the pictures. "Can you see teddy's nose? WHeres his eyes? he's got no shoes on!"

Get a feel for what he understands.

persevere, because this is the stuff the SALT team will ask you to do.

Im a foster parent and Ive had 2 children come to me at 2y 4 months, neither of whom were talking. One was mute. We spent a lot of time talking and they picked up language really fast - from April => mute to september => chatter.

The second one needed grommets, she could not hear mid to low frequency sounds. So that's worth checking on too.

I'm glad you've been seen. You'll get lots of advice from them.
Do lots of singing nursery rhymes, preferably with props.
Do play along without taking over his game or redirecting it. But narrate what your doing, because even if he's not talking back to you he's still listening. "Gosh where's that blue block we need, oh there's the blue block, I'll put in on top of the pile' etc. Lots of counting. Don't be waiting for him to respond. Don't talk all the time. Children need quiet too when they're concentrating.
If he's stacking research ways to extend his leaning. If he's into lining toys up, research that too.

Fragles The issue I have is, he will remove himself from the situation. If I try to stack with him or even alongside him, quietly or with speech, he will calmly take himself elsewhere. He will not have me or anyone else play alongside or even copy him

AGirl That's what makes it all so tiring though - I do these things, over and over and I don't give up on him, but he isn't engaging.

So for example when reading or playing and getting him to fill in sentence gaps, it doesn't work. He would never grunt or babble in response because he's not 'there' with me. It's like he's on a different planet and I'm in a bubble that he can't hear inside of.

He's not even ignoring what I'm saying, it's like he isn't even registering that I'm there. It's like I'm a ghost most of the time.

When I offer different choices and wait for a response, it's met with him looking at me completely blank. Like he hasn't a clue what I'm on about at all. I will try and try and it'll
just be met with nothing at all, not a hint of recognition

When you mentioned the hand twiddling, I immediately thought of a friend with her granddaughter, who has polymicrogyria. It can be confused with autism, which delays proper treatment. One of the behaviors common to polymicrogyria is an unusual finger twiddling thing. I understand it is common, and therapy has allowed her granddaughter to make a lot of progress. Apparently, some people have mild cases that have never been properly diagnosed. Just throwing it out as a possibility. Hope it all turns out great for you and your precious son.

Dgs' was 3 and a half. His mum took him to Speech and Language classes. Now he won't stop talking

I had a toddler like this. He's a very energetic 5yo now. He is autistic, but I needn't have been scared of it. He's funny, loving and learning all the time. Also, now officially verbal after four years of being officially non verbal!

Has he had his hearing tested recently?

My friend’s son was very similar and he does have autism, that doesn’t mean that this is true of your boy though. Hopefully the assessments will give a clearer idea. I know quite a few boys with autism and there is a big variation in what they can cope with. All but one are at mainstream school. Your little boy is still very small, and there may be something else going on. Even if he is on the spectrum there is much more understanding of autism than there used to be.