My 2 year old won't talk, will he ever?!

[faithandrob]

He was 2 earlier this month.

No speech. Nothing. Won't say a word. Occasionally babbles.

I try to encourage speech in various ways, such as speaking to him all the time, him being around other people, reading, but he won't engage with any of it.

If your child wasn't speaking at 2, when did they start to speak?

I'm so worried

I am concerned that you are having to wait so long for your appointment - apart from anything else it leaves you to worry for all that time - I am sorry to hear this is so slow.

I posted about this the other day! My ds will be 2 next month and wnt talk! Getting worried also.

My son didn’t speak until he was 2.2/2.5 years old. There was no word and no understanding. We were under a child development team plus speech therapy. We also attended a parenting course to try and help him. He attended a private nursery and would always play alone and wouldn’t interact with anyone. We did a lot of work with him. Nothing seemed to help. Suddenly just before he turned 3, something dramatically changed. From 0 words he went to 300 words overnight! Now at 3.9 years, his vocabulary is extensive and he talks non stop! Understanding and words all fell into place. He’s now a typical boy with no issues. I was also very concerned and spent many sleepless nights worrying about everything. Hope it’s a similar story with your son. I realise with my son that he catches up sooner or later.

We are a bilingual family and we were told that often children from bilingual families are late to talk. I am not sure how relevant it is. On the other hand, my daughter younger than him started talking early. Goes to show how different every child is!

Thank you to everyone sharing their personal experiences with me

I have to say, he's incredibly affectionate towards me. He often casually waltzes over to kiss me on my face if I'm just sitting there. But he doesn't really look at me whilst doing it.

He is also still breastfed and I'm constantly torn between thinking I've made matters worse by letting him feed beyond 2 and wondering if by breastfeeding I've at least made him happy to snuggle with me and be cuddled.

Family are constantly telling me he's too old and I'm making things worse by indulging him in feeds at this age. The only thing I'll say is I know our breastfeeding relationship is one of connection and I dare say I'd have no connection with him at all if we weren't feeding. It's as if this was the loophole for him to connect somehow with another person. No words, nothing. Just stillness and cuddles. It's also a time I very occasionally get eye contact

You haven’t made things worse by breastfeeding . As you say, it is a lovely connection between you. It will have helped his health generally too. Please don’t feel as though you have done anything wrong, you are so clearly a wonderful Mother, very loving and kind.
Our children come out as themselves, and as long as they are getting love, affection and care, then mothers are not at fault if a child needs extra support, or does something later than his peers.

Seconding SirVix - I have many friends who have BF into the toddler years, and it hasn't had any impact one way or the other. It sounds like you have a lovely, close bond there which should be celebrated.

You honestly can’t win - I wasn’t able to bf mine so I pumped and I worried for a long time that had caused their issues.

Breastfeeding has given him a great bond with you, which might have been harder to establish otherwise. As SinkGirl says you feel you can't win sometimes. My DS2 is autistic and is very affectionate towards me. Only me, unfortunately, but I prefer that he has that bond with someone rather than no one.

Do look at the Hanen book. It's a really good guide and was recommended by DS2's speech therapists and the methodology was used in his special pre-school.

DS2 couldn't talk at 2 and he has a great vocabulary now even if he sounds a bit formal! He went to mainstream school, which was great in some ways as it meant he was coping but in other ways I think his social needs might have been met better in a special school.

Rule nothing out, push for assessments and try to get him some early help. The Hanen book would be a great start. There should be portage and/or area Sencos looking after nursery/early years provision, chase up your local authority.

Mine had three words at 2. By 2.5 she was talking in, no exaggeration, full complex sentences like a little adult.

She has ASD though, and this is common in autistic children.

Ok I've just read the full thread, rather than just your OP (slaps myself on the wrist).

Lots of the things you've said would indicate possible ASD to me (a completely unqualified person but mother of a young child with ASD). However what I would say is even if your child does have ASD it is not a disaster. It means you'll need to make adjustments for them, give them more help etc but it is nothing to panic over. They are still your child, they just need extra help. The level of extra help varies massively as all children with ASD are different and have different needs.

In your shoes I would be asking for a referral for assessment. Your HV and GP would be the first port of call.

I wouldn't link the feeding and the behaviour. I know as many autistic kids who were breastfed as I do bottle fed ones. It's genetic.

ds barely bothered with talking until he was very nearly 3 but since then the problem has been shutting him up. I think some children are just like that - they're taking their time and thinking about other things.

He did have some speech therapy intervention as he was having trouble repeating some sounds and following instructions but even that seems to have settled now

He chats away as much as any 7 year old now and clearly understands everything (though he's still not keen on following instructions!!)

Your DS is only 2, don't worry too much

Some famous philosopher guy didn't speak until he was three years old. His first words were said to be 'Does the smoke in the chimney come from hell?'

My cousin didn't speak until three. She was, and is, exceptionally intelligent and very articulate.

I fed my dd until she was four plus and she fed her dd even longer. You're doing the absolute best thing any mother can do for her child. I have no worries about your ds, because he has you.

You might ask for a referral. But don't panic.

There used to be 'toys' to encourage speech - I remember an apple from which a grub would emerge if the child spoke.

I wish people would read the full thread before posting on here.

It sounds like your son mite have autism

I weaned both of mine at 2 1/2. Go with your instincts. I know smeone with a high functioning autistic son and she didn't wean till 3 1/2. She said the boob always calmed him, and wasn't harming anyone.

The special needs boards on here were a great source of advice and support for me when I had concerns about my DC's development (and eventual autism diagnosis).

You get less comments about silent children who suddenly and miraculously start talking about become prime minister

OP, these threads are always tricky because everyone’s experiences are different and the causes of lack of speech are different. In your case, it’s the lack of understanding that’s likely to be the concern, as it is for mine. It’s a complex issue with other factors besides speech.

You’re absolutely doing the right thing pursuing the assessments- in would definitely recommend getting the books I’ve suggested, it feels good to be doing something proactive while you wait for appointments. And get on to portage asap

My eldest three could not say a word at two. By the time they were two and a half a couple of words. My youngest has a different dad and spoke from 12 months. They just did it in their own time x

@HollowTalk - I'd rather just post in response to the opening post, because that's where my interest lies. Please feel free to ignore. Or make snide remarks. It's fine. It's a message board. Just.

Your op could have been about my ds at the same age. I was obsessed with how to help him and early interventions. I spent my whole day trying to engage him in some way.

The key thing which made an unexpected difference was altering his diet - take out any juice with artificial sweeteners in there if you give him them (they're hidden in most squashes.)

More normal eye contact came about 72 hours after doing this and he's progressed into a strapping teen who's kind, considerate and chatty. He probably is on the autistic spectrum but has thrived in ways I couldn't have imagined.

Get professional support and take each day as it comes. Your little boy sounds lovely.

Hi @faithandrob , I completely get you I really do. I’m in a near enough identical situation here , except we are moving no where with appointments ect as the waiting times in my area is appalling! My son in 22 months , no speech, no babble really and no understanding, does your son understand visual cues? Mine has started to understand when I put my work uniform on that I’m leaving and going to work so he gets upset , o have also found that when I outstretch my hand and get him to hold my hand he will understand that he is going somewhere. It will be slow progress but I’m hopeful he will get there. He’s not been diagnosed but he’s 100 % autistic. He doesn’t play with toys he runs around the room most of the day moving his toy chest and trampoline about to make a sort of assault course lol , I think they are just different learners , but of course my biggest fear is also never hearing him talk. X

OP I have total sympathy for you, I have been where you are and I remember how terrified I was that DS was never going to come out of his bubble. The worst thing is the not knowing how it will pan out; your DS may emerge or he might not. No-one can say, and nobody else's child is relevant because they are not your child.

All you can do at this stage is your best for him. So you look for all the interventions he is entitled to and use them. You look for ways to connect with him and therapies to try because at the end of the day, you will look back and will hopefully think, "I did the best that I could." I didn't seek portage for my child when he could have had it as I was still in denial at that stage (fortunately you are more on the ball than I was!) Don't forget that autism is a pervasive developmental disorder, so your DS may well be two years old, but developmentally he may well be far younger. My DS was assessed as being 16-22 months when he was three years and a few months and he wasn't engaging in parallel play then either. He had Language Processing Disorder as part of the autism so he had little understanding of what was happening around him. He also didn't know how to play with toys and had to learn sharing games with his TA (I think it was a basic rolling a toy back and forth to each other). I had tried this but like your dc, he didn't know what I was getting at so didn't engage. It was agonising and very hard.

Push for support as much as you can, the National Autistic Society help and they have local branches, there may be one near you. Don't feel you have to have a dx to ask for help, many groups for children with social communication disorders don't require one. The children don't get much out of these groups but the other parents utterly get it and their sympathy and understanding is really helpful in the main.

You’re doing the right thing getting early assessments. Look into intensive interaction, Makaton and PECS and see if you son may benefit from any of these methods of communication.

There are specialist nurseries as well as schools who can help develop communication, especially if your son does receive a diagnosis of autism or similar condition and are likely worth considering as the staff will be better trained in things like PECS than mainstream staff.