My 2 year old won't talk, will he ever?!

[faithandrob]

He was 2 earlier this month.

No speech. Nothing. Won't say a word. Occasionally babbles.

I try to encourage speech in various ways, such as speaking to him all the time, him being around other people, reading, but he won't engage with any of it.

If your child wasn't speaking at 2, when did they start to speak?

I'm so worried

Can you afford to go privately for an autism assessment?

Don’t feel bad wanting to know if he will be ‘normal’ or if he will rock like someone you knew did. No one knows the answers but it’s ok to ask the questions even without a diagnosis

Where do you live? A friend is paying for an assessment here, much quicker than the nhs but a fraction of the price of the normal assessments www.caudwellchildren.com/new_autism_centre/

Hi OP, my ds didn't point until 2.4, didn't say a word until just before 3 and the pediatrician thought he had classic autism, he actually turned out to be diagnosed with speech & language and social communication delay - it sounds like your getting help in terms of a diagnosis, but are you getting practical help such as speech therapy, 1-1 support at nursery? your LEA website should detail their local offer for pre-schoolers.

You asked about special schools, if you want your child to go to a special school then the planning and application for that probably needs to start a year or so in advance.

Some of what you say reminds me of my son who is autistic. I remember wanting answers like you but no-one can really say what the future holds. Even if it does turn out that he is on the spectrum it is so wide, with some people functioning well in society, finding partners and jobs and others needing lifelong care that at this age it's difficult to predict how things will turn out. Some do well in mainstream school, some like my son go to special school, he now works for one of the big supermarkets. Keep pushing for a diagnosis, once you know for sure what might be the cause for this delay then you can research ways to help and join support groups. I found knowing others were going through similar comforting.

My son was similar. His speech didn’t take off until he was around 3-3.5. He’s 4.5 now and still has issues with speech - understanding certain questions and making himself understood - but he talks a lot and has a great vocabulary. He’s also autistic.

It’s good that you’re in the system, even if it’s a long wait. I’d really recommend finding a local support group for children with SN in your local area. You don’t need a diagnosis. I’ve recently got in touch with one local to me, and I wish I’d done it earlier. I guess it took me a while to accept that my son does have SN.

I had 2 children who were late talkers. One finally started talking after they turned three and the other was diagnosed with ASD.

Both speak well now, but one is a natural talker and the other uses speech functionality.

If he's moving away when you interact you may have been overwhelming him with you efforts. If you try to get into his head, he's playing happily and you come over moving his stuff and jabbering at him. Try sitting quietly near him. When that's accepted, try copying him but not actually invoking yourself in his resources, ie if he's lining cars up then do exactly the same with no sound. When that's really solid then do a tiny bit of talking with lots of quiet. And very slowly build. Watch his body language for signs that he's settled or becoming bothered.

DS1 didn't say much at all until he was almost 3. By 4, we wondered whether he would ever stop talking nonstop. He is still a chatterbox aged 14.

Has he had a hearing test? Is that scheduled as part of the big assessment? X

I think the OP’s son is not just a late talker. Given that he does not understand what the OP says, does not respond to his name, does not point, I would say there are other things going on.
He needs assessment, possibly by a private SALT if the waiting list is too long and then a pediatric team. I understand how scary this must be but the key to all this is early intervention of the correct kind (so what works with NT children may not work with him). I would look into PECS and also for some specialist nursery provisions alongside the referral currently in place. The younger he gets professional help, the better for him.

If he's moving away when you interact you may have been overwhelming him with you efforts. If you try to get into his head, he's playing happily and you come over moving his stuff and jabbering at him. Try sitting quietly near him. When that's accepted, try copying him but not actually invoking yourself in his resources, ie if he's lining cars up then do exactly the same with no sound. When that's really solid then do a tiny bit of talking with lots of quiet. And very slowly build. Watch his body language for signs that he's settled or becoming bothered.

But that's the thing, I've tried that. I've tried acting as if I'm super quiet and just playing alongside him and he just moves away. I've tried just sitting there too, he eventually moves away. If I copy him without a sound, he moves away.

And he doesn't look bothered by any of it, he looks completely nonplussed. He just casually moves off.

He's a strange one as he's always so content. If someone asked me to describe my son, the first word that comes to mind is content. He is very pleased and relaxed, almost like a retired old man, just going about his business. Pottering about. I've never seen a toddler so chilled. He definitely isn't demanding and hard work. He's just emotionally draining but that's because what he's displaying isn't normal and my reaction is what's draining me (because I'm getting no response)

Forgot to add that he tidied up after himself - If he's really done stacking something and is going off to another object, he puts it back exactly where it was before.

It doesn't look like a toddler lives with me, that's for sure. I'm now wondering if you can have OCD tendencies as a toddler... Because I've never known children to be tidy. He does not like to be dirty either and dislikes the texture of sand on his feet, etc. He cries, and he's not a crier. Same happens with paint etc

Emelene It has been tested by the GP recently (all okay), and as a newborn (he passed). But they will test at the assessment too, yes x

It’s great he’s having a multidisciplinary assessment. I wouldn’t push anything with him for now (E.g. I wouldn’t start talking lots at him) - I’d just take my lead from him about how to interact with him.
I hope the assessment comes through soon and you get appropriate support.

Hi Op, I don't want to repeat what others have said, but have you tried cause and effect toys to gain interest and build suspense? blowing bubbles is good fur developing shared attention as most kids like them. So you would blow bubbles, and then wait until he looks at you (gives joint attention) and then say 'more' and when he gives an indication, might be a flicker of the eye or hand movement then accepting this as a sign and so on. You could google 'developing joint attention' and you should more ideas for games/ strategies. Good luck and I hope the appointment goes well.

Can I recommend the Hanen book, More than Words? It’s a SALT technique aimed at those with autism. It would do any harm if he doesn’t have autism, though. It would give you something to work on while you wait for appointments. My DS2 is autistic, sounds a lot like your DS. He’s a fab young man now.

www.winslowresources.com/more-than-wordsr-from-hanenr-book.html

*wouldn’t do any harm

Are you a bilingual family?

He is autistic, but I needn't have been scared of it. He's funny, loving and learning all the time

That’s lovely @jamoncrumpets and I feel the same. I spent a long time seeing all my son’s traits and being so scared that he was autistic. I desperately hoped to find other explanations for why he was the way he was. That’s natural, of course. Even this time last year I was terrified that he was autistic and asked his preschool teacher what she thought.

I’ve made my peace with it now. He is also funny and loving and bright as a button. Yes he struggles with lots of things that typical children don’t, but I think we’re going to be OK.

We aren't a bilingual family, no.

Although in saying that my cousins are bilingual and I remember them being amazingly early talkers

My two year old hates sand and being wet too and I've no other concerns, try not to turn everything into a symptom though I understand why you would

Oh OP, sending you

It was me posting threads like this about my twins mid last year, shortly before they turned 3. One just completely stopped playing with toys about 18 months. One was diagnosed with ASD last December, and the other was diagnosed in February

If you haven’t already please look and see whether there’s a portage service in your area (they’re like developmental play specialists) - if so you can usually self refer. We’ve had a year of home visits for each of our twins and they have helped us so much in so many ways.

I’d also really recommend the book More Than Words by Fern Sussman. It’s expensive but worth every penny. Also, the book An Early Start For Your Child With Autism - even if it’s not ASD the strategies will help with much of what you describe.

Mine are 38 months, still no speech but I think they are starting to understand more words and they’re finding a way to communicate. Toddlers can’t learn to talk if they don’t understand words so the books I mentioned will help you find ways to make language more accessible to him while you’re waiting to see SALT.

Hang in there and let me know if you want to talk

Also my twins had no interest in us at all for a long time. Now they seek us out, want to interact with us, want cuddles, like it when we play with them. Our boys are pretty severely affected and it’s still not like being around a typical child, but progress does happen in their own time - the more you can support that, the better.

My dd wasn’t talking at that age. She’d understand and point. We were referred as we thought that she may have had a hearing problem.

She’s 10 now, doesn’t shut up and is highly intelligent and articulate.

Sounds like my eldest son at that age.

He attends special school. Diagnosed Autism, Epilepsy (absence seizures), severe learning disability alongside social emotional behavioural problems & severe speech & language delay.

To be honest my sons diagnosis was a relief. I thought I was a crap parent struggling with him so much. But It’s just the way he is designed.

What I can tell you is early intervention is key with any type of developmental delay.

You need to be strong with the professionals, get a diary record every app, conversation etc. Get a folder for all paperwork. You are his advocate & his voice.

My son goes to private speech & language every 2 weeks which is expensive but it teaches me what to do with him at home which is brilliant & gives me some confidence.

He has words but no functional speech ie can’t tell me when he’s hungry or sore.

Look up attention autism & try a few examples with him to try & get him to notice something going on around him & build it up from there. Bubbles, wind up tots etc are good cheap starting points.