Lap dancing and escorts

[watchout]

If you found out that your husband (who had his own business) had been taking the people who buys his business to lap dancing clubs and escorts would you feel it your duty to contact their wives?

@Bluerussian

I would use it as a threat to him if he didn't co-operate with the divorce because most men would be ashamed if their family and friends knew about their porn habits etc.

And, @JoannaObrien, would you follow through with this blackmail threat?

@Aridane

I would if he wasn't being co-operative with the divorce. Then again I am not married to a man who goes to lap dancing clubs or visits prostitutes, so I am not sure how I would react if I was .... I would probably cut all his suits up and scratch his car etc

I don’t understand some people in here.

OP, of course you need to inform the wives / partners if their husbands have been using escorts! You have a moral duty to do so - think of the risks via STDs to these women. And even if there are no STD - wouldn’t you want to know? I certainly would. By keeping quiet you are colluding with an exploitation industry and the insidious sense I’d make entitlement that allows it to flourish.

You don’t need to make a sing and dance about it. Just contact the wives with the irrefutable evidence you have. As for “depriving children of a father” - well, they’re better off without him - obviously. It’s not deprivation fgs, it’s empowering them with the truth.

@JoannaObrien - so you would be OK with getting a criminal record for criminal damage...

I would use it as a threat to him if he didn't co-operate with the divorce because most men would be ashamed if their family and friends knew about their porn habits etc.

That is a lot of words to cover "blackmail", which the police will - no two ways - take very seriously, should the OPs DH report it. Generally it's hard to think of a single action which is even close to tanking your own case, but that would certainly be in the top two.

OP please don’t tell school mums and neighbours, it’s not fair on your children.

Take your proof to a solicitor and rinse him. Then move on and be happy. That’s the best revenge.

How and why can people be suggesting it’s not advisable to tell the wives / girlfriends involved? Talk about collusion with misogyny. They have a right to know the truth. Yes it’s devastating, but what’s the alternative?

I’m not saying OP needs to advertise what’s happened far and wide, but I would definitely be letting his family know exactly why you are divorcing and I would definitely give the other wives the information they need so that they no longer have to live a mockery of a life being patronised by these pathetic little men.

And it’s not “blackmail” to hold anything over him fgs. It would be her word against his in any case and who do You think the courts would view as the injured party here? Blackmail indeed,

And it’s not “blackmail” to hold anything over him fgs. It would be her word against his in any case and who do You think the courts would view as the injured party here? Blackmail indeed,

www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1968/60/section/21

Of course some of the more demented suggestions are blackmail, criminal damage and / or harassment. (Plus defamatory unless OP rea.ly does have proof that this is all true).

Well I’m not suggesting criminal damage. Just give the other wives the information they are entitled to.

There are some situations where to not act is tantamount to collusion and this is one of them.

You're angry and hurt and want to hurt him back, which is entirely understandable. But please listen to the advice here saying that behaviour like that will only harm your case going forwards.

Also, you want to tell everyone so they all know what a pos he is. That will mean the school mums will have something great to gossip about, please only tell close family and friends who will be looking out for your best interests and supporting you

@cosima1

Another poster was suggesting criminal damage (destroying His clothes and scratching his car). I think it was @JoannaObrien

If anyone here thinks it's a choice for a girl in her 20s to have sex or lap dance for blokes over 50 then I'll be keen to see what her other choices are

I completely agree with you here OP and I admire you for having empathy for the women particularly when you're going through such a hard time yourself

I'm not saying it's a choice I would personally make, but I've heard lots of women choose to do escort type work as students because the pay is so good. Nobody is forcing them to do it, and they could do bar work or waitressing and still earn enough to get by, but they want more cash.

I don't think every woman in that line of work is vulnerable and/or forced into it, but do tend to agree that the majority absolutely are

I was just joking about ripping his suits and scratching his car ... I had just read about a woman doing this to her cheating husband and was referring to that. I would just get all the evidence I needed to get a divorce from him.

This one

static.standard.co.uk/s3fs-public/thumbnails/image/2016/05/04/16/rangerover2.jpg