Lap dancing and escorts

[watchout]

If you found out that your husband (who had his own business) had been taking the people who buys his business to lap dancing clubs and escorts would you feel it your duty to contact their wives?

The OP is not stupid, she is in shock.

It sounds rather Epstein-y - sleazy certainly.

However you would need proof of sexual activity; it's possible for business associates to go out to dinner with a group which included escorts if it was laid on for them, but not have sex with anyone. A lot of men wouldn't dream of being unfaithful whatever the circumstances.

I'm glad your ex is your ex! Did he avail himself of 'special services' at the 'do's' he organised? Please don't answer if it is too personal.

Tell us the name of the company if it is already in the public domain and give some details but don't name individuals.

If I'm to blame because a man I've been with for 20 years makes decisions to exploit vulnerable women half his age without my knowledge then I really don't understand this world.
I have receipts for strip clubs (they look like dinner receipts). I have text exchanges for sex.

Receipts would be issued by the venues, by obscure 'entertainment' agencies, not by the escorts personally.

Tell us the name of the company if it is already in the public domain and give some details but don't name individual

No don’t, please don’t

Why would your husband have text exchanges for sex, between these other men and the escorts?

You're not to blame, watchout. It must have been an awful shock. Do tell us what sort of niche market business this is.

Going to a strip club or having sex with an escort is not exploitation unless the person is being forced to do it against their will, as in they've been trafficked into it. I highly doubt strip clubs and escorts that issue receipts are running human trafficking type places, they're just running a business.

Your husband cheated and you're angry which I totally get but to turn it into something far darker and suggest your husband and his partners are running some sort of Jermey Epstein type sex ring is a bit much. They went to strip clubs and used escorts. Not my cup of tea or anyone I know but people do it and they aren't sex offenders for doing so

I'll not post anymore. I don't have the strength.
For the record; strip clubs give out what look like receipts for dinner and drinks. But it's naked table dancing, and much more. It's new to me.

I have screen shots from his phone exchanging details for sex with him and the people he sells his merchandise to. That's not a euphemism. He works in industry.

If anyone here thinks it's a choice for a girl in her 20s to have sex or lap dance for blokes over 50 then I'll be keen to see what her other choices are.

Lots of women in their 20s see nothing wrong in earning good money from lapdancing.

However, prostitution is a whole different area.

But either way, I'd stay out of strangers marriages and just concentrate on your divorce.

Demolition.

@WorraLiberty I refer you to my last point. I'd like to see what their other options are.
But in reality I know, I work with vulnerable women. It's my job. It's my choice.
Please don't make sex work a normal and valid choice.

Double glazing.
Trying to think of businesses I've seen at The races.

Most people work in an industry. Give us a clue.

Aw, just reread, races are other expenses not where he works.

Lapdancing is a normal and valid choice for some. Obviously not all, but for some.

Please don't make out all lapdancers are vulnerable women.

Your obviously very, very angry (with good reason). Now focus that anger on getting a shit hot lawyer and the best divorce/ maintenance settlement and childcare arrangements that you can.

Better that than getting cautioned for harassment or ruining his business (which will impact on your divorce settlement and maintenance payments).

That's the point I was trying to make. I get that he has cheated and so have the others but to want to tell the other mens wives that they were all taking advantage of vulnerable young women (which doesn't seem to be the case) could actually cause a child to be without a father. I agree 100% that it's shit and hurts a lot and you should divorce him but don't turn him and the others cheating into a horrible and sordid situation where they forced women into things that were vulnerable and make them out to be sex offenders and potentially not get to see their children and cause rippling effects because you're angry that your husband cheated. Don't do that

Ok, let's put the ethics of lap dancing and paying for sex to one side.

I'll just tell people what I know. I'll tell his family, school mums, neighbours and friends.

@watchout

Remember, revenge is a dish best served cold.

You have proof...it'll keep. And it's always best not to show your hand right away. So don't do anything right now, you'll regret it. Watch how the situation unfolds.

@watchout

Today I would find a good divorce lawyer and tell them everything it will be in confidence and they will tell you the best way forward. Also I would hold off from telling the wives about the prostitutes and lap dancing etc until you have everything in order making sure you get half of everything because you are entitled to that. The problem is if you tell the wives what is going on and your husband finds out it could backfire on you and he could move assets and try to ruin you. Once everything is in place and there is nothing he can do to stop the divorce and financial side of things going ahead then you tell them all the seedy details. Get as much evidence as you can to show them and your divorce lawyer. Good Luck!

I'll just tell people what I know. I'll tell his family, school mums, neighbours and friends

🙄

watchout Mon 25-Nov-19 01:21:20
Ok, let's put the ethics of lap dancing and paying for sex to one side.

I'll just tell people what I know. I'll tell his family, school mums, neighbours and friends.
........
Why on earth would you do that? If my husband, the father of my children, had behaved badly I wouldn't want people to know unless they needed to know, it would be humiliating for me and the children. It's also vindictive.

As somebody else said, you could be indirectly responsible for other people's children being without a father.

Just concentrate on your stuff and leave others to deal with theirs.

So far you've done nothing wrong, please don't start now.