Lap dancing and escorts

[watchout]

If you found out that your husband (who had his own business) had been taking the people who buys his business to lap dancing clubs and escorts would you feel it your duty to contact their wives?

Yes I have more than one post.

I am a women and would not poke my nose into my husbands affairs never mind another couples.
Women always think they know best very rarely is this true.

Wow.
Are you sure that shouldn’t be 1819 after your user name, not 2019?

OP I’m really sorry you’re going through this. However like a PP suggested I’d focus on yourself first, take some deep breaths and get some proper legal advice. You can look into how you contact these other wives, if you still feel you need to, later.

Have these men actually been having sexual with escorts? And how do you know this?

Why don't you just focus on divorcing your husband instead of coming across like a demented harpy?

Nice choice of words for a woman going through this crap

AliasGrape absolutely seconded with bells on. What utter backwards nonsense.

OP, though, for your own sake and the outcome of this divorce in your favour, please do listen to those advising you not to publish anything online. I’d echo the PP who suggested staying with someone for a bit if you can (only a touch more kindly). I’m really sorry.

Oh, and fwiw it’s worth, I’d want to know. However - wait until this divorce is through. You presumably have maintenance to seek from STBXH and you have the chance to prioritise getting your best case in order, harsh as it may or may not be for others.

*fwiw, not fwiw it’s worth... thanks to my phone.

It's not a case of men winning, there are plenty of men who hate the places and wouldn't be seen dead in one.
You just chose a wrong un OP.
Either live with it or divorce him, leave his clients and wives out of it.

I have proof (via receipt) and a recorded discussion with an escort naming the men. They are all part of his business expenses and tally up to days at the races and very specific conferences. It's such a niche area I can't name it.

If you ruin his business you'll kiss goodbye to maintenance.
He'll have nothing to pay you with.

Does he flog wine?

No one accidentally falls into a lap dancing club or accidentally has sex with a prostitute

I'm not interested in money

No he doesn't sell wine

I have been in your shoes - I felt like I was losing my mind when I found out and I wanted to ruin my ex’s life and tell everyone what he had done. I drove my friends and family insane - it was all I could talk / think / cry about and I was incredibly hurt and angry. In the end I got drunk, posted the booking forms on his Facebook profile and sent them to his work place and parents. He had me arrested for harassment.

I retained no dignity from the experience, I have a police caution, and he could legitimately play the “psycho ex” thing, which undermined everything I had been saying.

Keep your cool, step away from the internet and don’t do what I did - I would have had a lot more respect from other people (and for myself) if I had taken the high ground

@Ninjakittysmellz that's me. I am in shock, we have such a normal life.
I want to tell everyone I'm angry and why. I feel like I need to defend myself

what industry is your husbands company?

Learn from @Ninjakittysmellz

@Janaih a very small industry.

@Janaih what industry are you concerned about?

If I don't publish on here how do I tell them?

What makes you think they're Mumsnetters anyway?

just wondered, this was standard in my previous internet based job.

@WorraLiberty I'm not thinking straight. Im new on Mumsnet

@Janaih no it is not an it company

Hang on. He's taking clients to lap dancing clubs and providing escorts and he's getting receipts! Well if he and his clients are happy leaving a paper trail and, presumably, letting HMRC know about it, I very much doubt if anything really sordid took place.

I didn't know escorts did receipts. Learn something new every day.

I don't imagine Escorts do receipts either, especially not itemised ones...