Need cheering up please!

[GaaaaarlicBread]

Hi everyone,

I'm feeling a little sad tonight. Just need a bit of a cheering up-does anyone have any funny or embarrassing stories, jokes, words of wisdom??
Currently TTC number one and just overthinking things and getting myself down, wanting baby magic which is ridiculous I know, and also got an unwell family member with Alzheimers at the mo which is very sad as she is at the later on stages (getting worse).

Just need some of your cheerfulness please if that's OK to ask for on here :) Maybe the wrong place on the threads, sorry

I’m sorry you’re feeling so down, it sounds as though you have a lot on your plate.

I have a joke for you....

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick 😂, what do u call a fly without wings?

My Daughter, I find it difficult to say what she does.
She sells seashells on the seashore.

@SassenachWitch thank you, I'm usually a very bubbly happy person so I feel bad complaining on here as I know this isn't the place to be posting 'I feel sad please make me happy' so I am sorry if this annoys anyone but I have nowhere else to go, can't talk to family or friends as I don't want people knowing we are TTC .
I was going to say I don't know, what is brown and sticky? but PP already answered lol

@justthecat I don't know, what is a fly without wings?

what do u call a fly without wings? A walk

@DanFmDorking thank you, I struggle to say that as well! I get all jumbled lol

Words of wisdom....

@Lifebee ahhh of course! lol very good

My sister is putting in a new kitchen, I offered to do the bench-tops but I was told to stop being counterproductive.
... I'll get my coat ...

I bet those sheep that make the steel wool are just awesome!

I like to fall down a rabbit hole of Buzzfeed posts.

www.buzzfeed.com/christopherhudspeth/viral-dog-tweets-from-2019-that-are-guaranteed

www.buzzfeed.com/morganmurrell/bad-day-tweets-11-13-19

@SassenachWitch love that thank you

@DanFmDorking drops the mic lol!

@TwattingDog your username alone made me laugh!

@TwattingDog dogs and other fluffy animals (mainly dogs and rabbits) never fail to make me smile actually!

Ha ha, I name changed one night, and the dog had just tried to take me out and was called a twatting dog...

Read this thread!

If you're on Facebook OP I thoroughly recommend The Official Home Of Modern Toss 😂

@TwattingDog I remember my old dog doing that , and I went mental and called him a 'flipping twit twat' and he looked at me gone out !

@Nonstopbuttmachine ah I'm not on Facebook but I will see if I can still see the page! Love that photo lol

Try reading Emma Kennedy's books: The Tent The Bucket and Me and I Left My Tent In San Francisco. They are hilarious and full of comedic mishaps. TTC is tough - be kind to yourself

Cat vs Dog

😹

Love this: can just picture the scenario.

When our rabbits went to the vet for their jabs, my DP took them and was obviously asked their names, which are Big Twat and Little Twat, after much stuttering he announced this is little un and this is big un.

So that is what is now on their file 🙄😂

My mum has to take a peacock to the vet once (she lived somewhere with large grounds and there were peacocks there) and they asked for its name. She didn't have a name for it, so she tells them he's called Piers!

I had to pull my trousers and pants down for an examination at the GP this morning and as I pulled then down, I accidentally let out a comical fart infront of my GP and medical student...

Nobody said anything and the next 15 mins were extremely awkward

I haven't even told DP so I hope that cheers you up :)

@GoldLeafTree oh my god 😂😂😂😂