If your childminder left your child with their under 16 yr old daughter

[StayClassySally]

Yesterday I dropped DD (8) off at the childminders. The childminders daughter opened the door and it was a quick drop off. As I turned around, I realised that no cars of the childminder or her husband were on the drive. I sat in the car and the childminder drove very quickly on the drive and quickly walked looking very stressed from the car to the house. I realised that the daughter had been in charge for an unknown amount of time of several primary school aged children.

The daughter is in high school herself. Around 15/16.

What would you do? She is one of the best in the area. There are other niggles including her younger daughter being quite nasty to my daughter at times meaning during school holidays DP has to take several days annual leave while still paying for the CM and disorganised annual leave that has screwed me over 2 out of the last three years.

I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong op... but ask her first see what she says but then take your child out.
For all you know she could be putting the dd in charge of the children often. You will never know and now the trust has gone.

Myshinynewname I wouldn't do what you've described for school drop off, not at 8 years old which is the age of the OPs child. I would not be happy unless I'd seen them walk into the classroom or through the school door at that age. Its too young, what if no one is there, or they fall over and hurt themselves, they can't exactly run back and get you if you've driven off.
And no I don't believe in wrapping children in cotton wool, but they need to learn to be independent in small steps at an appropriate age. My 10 yr old will walk out of school to an agreed meeting place for example, my 15 year old is completely independent in many areas such as travelling by bus or bike, cooking a meal etc, this has happened over time with guidance and when they are ready. I am digressing a little but my point is, 8 years old is still little, and it is our job as a parent to ensure that our children are safe, which very much includes seeing them directly into the hands of whoever is looking after them.

So have you found another CM, OP? Have you contacted the other parents to explain why they will need to find a new CM, too?

How quickly will Ofsted shut her down, anyway. Will there be a CM for you all to go to tomorrow?

@HeatedDryer fair enough, we’ll have to agree to disagree.

I used to employ a 16 year old year 11 girl to assist at a children’s activity. This was after school rather than before school but all perfectly legal. occasionally if the person in charge was ill or other unforeseen circumstances she would be in charge.

The point is you don’t know, so you need to ask.

How was it this morning OP, did you have a word then the CM about yesterday?

I did. I didn't get very far because I am an absolute wimp and hate confrontation. I asked who was looking after them. She sounded panicked and said "it was only two minutes while I went to get my car from the next street. Normally DH would stay but we had a heater catastrophe and he had to deal with that. It was only two mins".

I said "right. Ok then." Thought about my next statement which should have been how old is she? Is she officially registered as an assistant? Has she completed the paediatric first aid course? Why couldn't you wait 15 mins and get the car on the way back from dropping them off at school? The car was on the same road as the school apparently.

I didn't ask any of it. What an idiot!

It's hard to tackle something like this head on, I also hate confrontation so I totally sympathise. You did mark her card though so well done for that!

This is it. Part of me is glad as she will spend the day sweating about it. Her husband looked a bit like "oh shit" as well. Neither of them massively but enough for me to pick up on it. I'm intrigued as to whether she will bring it up tomorrow am or with DP tonight.

I'm stunned that after all that you took your DD back there this morning

I think you need to find alternative childcare this woman sounds like she is juggiling a lot and it isn't working She was clearly bull shitting about collecting her car.

Or if she was telling the truth she is being sloopy with her care of her mindees and getting paid for the privilige.

What you've got to remember is that this is a business. She isn't some friendly neighbour doing you a favour and you have every right to expect her to be there when you drop off your child and to adhere to the terms of your contract. You are trusting her with the most important person in the world to you and at best she is sloppy and at worst neglectful. And she is a right CF about the holidays and notice/pay.

Oh typos I meant sloppy and privilege

The op says she doesn't know how old the dd is, but she is in high school and has guessed she is 15
/16, but if she doesn't know she could be 18 and still be at school. How do you know the dh was not there?