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Original poster

If your childminder left your child with their under 16 yr old daughter

115 replies

StayClassySally · 12/11/2019 09:29

Yesterday I dropped DD (8) off at the childminders. The childminders daughter opened the door and it was a quick drop off. As I turned around, I realised that no cars of the childminder or her husband were on the drive. I sat in the car and the childminder drove very quickly on the drive and quickly walked looking very stressed from the car to the house. I realised that the daughter had been in charge for an unknown amount of time of several primary school aged children.

The daughter is in high school herself. Around 15/16.

What would you do? She is one of the best in the area. There are other niggles including her younger daughter being quite nasty to my daughter at times meaning during school holidays DP has to take several days annual leave while still paying for the CM and disorganised annual leave that has screwed me over 2 out of the last three years.

OP posts:

Raphael34 · 12/11/2019 10:41

My child would be straight out of there if it were me

Mrsjayy · 12/11/2019 10:42

Well she could own a nursery have staff maybe run an after school club have staff and her at home child minding business.

mummmy2017 · 12/11/2019 10:47

Have you asked?
How long were they there, without her?
If you place your child with someone who is there all the time but is not such a good childminder normally, are you going to be more worried more things more of the time?
Find out before you jump?

Interested in this thread?

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16 year olds 8 year olds Childcare & nursery Families

FacebookRager · 12/11/2019 10:47

You May think she's the best in the area but is she just the most popular?
Our town's most booked up childminder I would never use in a million years. I've heard so many tales I wonder how her clients aren't aware!
She used to come to our playgroup and leave her charges with the mums there while she "popped over to the doctors across the road for her appointment."
A friend once went to pick her primary aged kid up and found her and another playing in the garden. She went inside to let CM know she was leaving and CM was having a nap. When she woke her CM grumpily said, "You didn't have to wake me up for that!"
She also used to leave any one of her DDs (albeit slightly older) caring for the charges. One had no childcare qualifications at all and the other was still doing a HNC at college.

I'd not be happy that my child was left with the CM's daughter if anything because CMs aren't cheap and you're paying that price for a qualified adult to do the job. Truthfully a teen is capable of watching an 8 year old for a bit but that's not the point.

Comefromaway · 12/11/2019 10:48

Hmm, I'd say it depends on a few things.

As your dd (and presumably the other children) are aged 8 the childminder doesn't even need to be OFSTED registered. If the dd is 16 then she may very well have been DBS checked (I think all over 16's living in a childminder's house have to be), however if she is in Year 11 then she should not be "working" in any way without a licence from the council. If she is 15 then absolutely she should not be in sole charge s she can't have been DBS checked and the childminder's insurance may be invalid but if she is 16 that is not necessarily the case.

habipprtyh · 12/11/2019 10:53

Your title is misleading. The childminder didn't leave your child, you did. I think there has to be an aspect of personal responsibility there.

That's said I would not be happy with the expectation that you would be happy to do so. Also the thing about her kid being mean to yours, that's not ok. Not to mention there were other kids in the care of the DD who must have been left by the childminder.

Venger · 12/11/2019 11:09

You need to speak to the childminder and get her side of this.

The DD is potentially DBS checked and registered as an assistant depending on her age, etc. in which case she can be left with mindees for short periods.

The husband may have been in the house and your DD hasn't realised, e.g., in the kitchen.

It sounds though like you have other issues going on with the childminder and when it comes to childcare you need to be comfortable leaving your child with that person. If you have any doubts about the care being provided then this is not the right provider for you.

Mainly though, talk to your childminder. Get her side of it and then decide how to proceed. If you're not satisfied with her side then either make a complaint following her complaints policy or make a safeguarding complaint to Ofsted, depending on what it is she says to you.

Grandmi · 12/11/2019 11:11

Instead of taking an action that could potentially destroy her livelihood I would be more inclined to have a chat with her . The fact that she didn’t appear to cover up anything suggests her husband was in the house. Also you said she looked worried so maybe she had had to nip out to something urgent.

ConfCall · 12/11/2019 11:16

Talk to her first, OP. It might have been a one-off due to an emergency. Don’t complain yet.

That said, there are a few problems here it seems.

habipprtyh · 12/11/2019 11:17

The DD is potentially DBS checked and registered as an assistant depending on her age, etc. in which case she can be left with mindees for short periods.

An under 16? Highly unlikely.

Venger · 12/11/2019 11:20

OP isn't certain exactly how old the DD is which is why I said "potentially".

She needs to speak to the childminder to find out the other side of the story before making any decisions about what to do next.

blackcat86 · 12/11/2019 11:21

Is she 15 or 16? Both my parents were childminders and at 16 I was legally allowed to be added as "staff" with a dbs check and appropriate insurance. She may be legitimately able to look after the children. If not, I would have an issue as this could invalidate the cm's insurance should anything go wrong. It also shows a lack of judgement. Why dont you just ask her? If you dont trust her or dont feel comfortable raising issues then she probably isnt the right childcare option for you anyway.

Original poster

StayClassySally · 12/11/2019 11:27

@foamrolling she owns two nurseries, the childminder setting and an after school club at a local school.

@habipprtyh a bit harsh. I didn't realise that the childminders wasn't there until I saw her driving into the driveway. Until that point, I had appeared within the window that my DD is cared for by the CM expecting her to be cared for by the CM.

Sorry drip feed here... upon speaking with DD the childminder had overslept and someone that she normally drops off before or after she is looking after the other kids had to be dropped off then.

OP posts:

habipprtyh · 12/11/2019 11:31

a bit harsh. I didn't realise that the childminders wasn't there until I saw her driving into the driveway.

I didn't mean to be harsh. But your thread title states the childminder left your DC alone and she didn't. I do think we have to take a little bit of personal responsibility for who we hand our children over to. Im not for a minute excusing the situation at all, but there is an element of 'what could I have done?' and the title is very very misleading as it suggested your childminder actively left your child.

But again, I didn't mean to be harsh, facts are important. Sorry if you feel it was against you personally. It wasn't

Original poster

StayClassySally · 12/11/2019 11:33

I am nervous to speak to her because last time I did was about her taking a holiday with three weeks notice when her contract states six and DP and I couldn't get the time off as we had already booked the week we had been told and had no cover and she went off on one saying I can't believe you're begrudging me this time with my family. I said it's not about that, it's about what you're contractually obliged to do and what's been agreed. I ended up apologising for an easy life as DD was happy there then.

In all likelihood she will see this and give me notice.

OP posts:

Original poster

StayClassySally · 12/11/2019 11:35

Thanks @habipprtyh I didn't feel you were against me but had I realised CM wasn't there and made the choice to leave DD then I would say you are correct but I genuinely didn't realise until I saw her drive in. Until that point I assumed she was elsewhere.

OP posts:

Maryann1975 · 12/11/2019 11:36

You left your dc with the childminders daughter technically! The childminder wasn’t on the premises and you should have checked that before leaving. I am aware you have said there were already childminded children there, but YOU left your dd in an unsafe situation. I am totally not defending the cm as she should not be leaving the premises unless there is a properly registered and qualified assistant (assistants have to have done certain courses before they can be left unsupervised) and also, parents have to be aware that this is happening.

You do need to speak to her to find out her reasons for doing this, although there are very few reasons that are acceptable and they really would only cover an absolute medical emergency (I don’t mean going for a doctors app, I mean an ambulance situation) and even then it’s still really dodgy ground with the dd being under 16, but I could probably forgive her if she had been accompanying another child to hospital.

It got me wondering if you can ever fully trust a childminder
There are some truly fantastic childminders out there, some of us are really good and take our roles really seriously and are completely worthy of your trust.

Tbh, I’m not sure a childminder running her business as a tax dodge sounds like the best kind or one worthy of putting my trust in, but there you go.

mummmy2017 · 12/11/2019 11:36

Just ask her what happened this morning, and who was looking after the children.

habipprtyh · 12/11/2019 11:37

That's my point about personal responsibility. You made Th e choice to leave her with someone else and didn't ensure the CM was there. Do you usually hand over to someone else?

Comefromaway · 12/11/2019 11:46

Is she registered with OFSTED and if so, is it on a volutary basis eg she only looks after children over 8 or for less than 2 hours per day?

DobbinOnTheLA · 12/11/2019 11:47

2 nurseries, childminding and an after-school club. I find it very hard to believe she only booked the holiday 3 weeks before.

Maybe the DD is 16 and all registered with Ofsted. But if even the thought of asking when it's your DDs care that you pay her for leaves you nervous, I'd really look at other options. Hopefully she doesn't also run a breakfast club too(!)

habipprtyh · 12/11/2019 11:48

Maybe the DD is 16 and all registered with Ofsted.

OP said she was under 16

Comefromaway · 12/11/2019 11:49

No, OP said she was around 15/16. There is a big difference legally if she has turned 16 or not.

Maryann1975 · 12/11/2019 11:50

In all likelihood she will see this and give me notice
She doesn’t sound that great tbh, so I don’t think it would be awful if you parted company. It’s really unprofessional to be messing around with holidays imo. Parents need to know what they are doing and some of the best minders I know (including myself) are already starting to give dates out for next year so parents can get themselves sorted too. Different for an illness, or an emergency, hospital app that’s come through at short notice, but for a holiday, parents deserve better.

There has to be a better childcare option in your area.

Comefromaway · 12/11/2019 11:50

And if the children are all aged 8 and over (OP's dd is 8) then no-one needs to be registered with OFSTED at all although she may be registered on a voluntary basis.

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