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Original poster

If your childminder left your child with their under 16 yr old daughter

115 replies

StayClassySally · 12/11/2019 09:29

Yesterday I dropped DD (8) off at the childminders. The childminders daughter opened the door and it was a quick drop off. As I turned around, I realised that no cars of the childminder or her husband were on the drive. I sat in the car and the childminder drove very quickly on the drive and quickly walked looking very stressed from the car to the house. I realised that the daughter had been in charge for an unknown amount of time of several primary school aged children.

The daughter is in high school herself. Around 15/16.

What would you do? She is one of the best in the area. There are other niggles including her younger daughter being quite nasty to my daughter at times meaning during school holidays DP has to take several days annual leave while still paying for the CM and disorganised annual leave that has screwed me over 2 out of the last three years.

OP posts:
Honeybee85 · 12/11/2019 11:52

If that were my child, would have been the last time that she were at that childminder’s home. I would immediately find a new place for my child to be looked after.

Unacceptable to the children, the young daughter of the childminder and the parents. Its truly taking the piss and I would not feel comfortable anymore about the safety of my child in that place. God knows what other things she bends the rules on.

Comefromaway · 12/11/2019 12:09

The holiday thing would annoy me immensly. When you take money from someone you become a professional and the service you provide/customer relationship should be professional.

Starlight456 · 12/11/2019 12:24

Also if she owns 2 nurseries she knows the requirements inside out

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16 year olds 8 year olds Childcare & nursery Families
Looneytune253 · 12/11/2019 12:31

I do think you need to talk to the childminder first. 16/17 year olds are allowed to be assistants but parents should be informed. Are you sure the cm wasn't in somewhere? Maybe car was away for MOT or something for example. Also why on earth did u still leave child. You need to take some responsibility. I would check the facts first then make a formal complaint and then possibly a complaint to ofsted

Original poster
StayClassySally · 12/11/2019 12:40

She was in her school uniform. She is definitely still at school but may be in year 11.

@Looneytune253 again, I was only aware the CM wasn't in her house at the scheduled time when I saw her drive in. I wouldn't have left her otherwise.

OP posts:
habipprtyh · 12/11/2019 12:59

@Comefromaway

No, OP said she was around 15/16.

Sorry, the thread title literally says under 16. That's where I took it from.

Comefromaway · 12/11/2019 13:02

Well, yes. The information the OP has provided is contradictory and she still hasn't stated whether all of the children are aged over 8 (she may not know this to be fair).

PicsInRed · 12/11/2019 13:04

Is she "the best" in the area or "the most charming" in the area?

Because, going on all your posts, if she's the best, the other offerings must be dire.

custardbear · 12/11/2019 13:07

This childminder sounds awful! These items are what you've seen today ... wonder what she does when you're not there to see it

I'd be seeking a different source of childcare

bohemia14 · 12/11/2019 13:19

Are we talking a minute or two at drop off time? That's how it reads and if the childminder looked stressed perhaps there was an emergency? I don't understand why you don't just speak to her.

vikkimoog · 12/11/2019 13:27

15/ 16 years old? which one? It makes all the difference. at 16 if an assistant she can be left for up to 2 hours

trevthecat · 12/11/2019 13:50

I am a childminder and this is completely unreasonable. Her daughter can't have dbs or be registered as an assistant until she is 16. She probably isn't old enough. You need to either speak to her or Ofsted. There were other children there, how long had the cm been gone? Is the daughter first aid trained? What if a child had chocked? You need to get to the bottom of this

Original poster
StayClassySally · 12/11/2019 14:26

I have no idea how old the other kids are. They all have a school uniform on and some are 8 and some are the year above. Some may or may not be younger. I'll ask DD tonight. She is year 3 and one of the oldest in her year.

I have no idea how old her DD is other than she wears a school uniform from a local high school. As she is school age, I imagine both are illegal or that I would have to give my permission.

Also I don't know how long she wasn't there for. Once I put my big girl socks on and talk to her, I will ask.

OP posts:
Original poster
StayClassySally · 12/11/2019 14:31

Also with regard to the holiday thing... apparently, the rest of her family booked it long before and she was going to stay because of her commitments and then saw a deal which her husband persuaded her to take as she "deserved it". That was the first time and I was really unhappy.

This year I woke up to an email sent at 3.30am saying that she couldn't find any evidence she had told me about her holiday and that she was going on x date. I looked and it was just four weeks. She could organise a childminder that I didn't know. We decided to work from home that week. We paid her for that week as we pay monthly via childcare vouchers. She hasn't asked us if we want it back etc. £200...

Why am I accepting this!!!!

OP posts:
habipprtyh · 12/11/2019 14:40

I'm sorry OP but you don't seem to know much.

Did you not exchange any words when you dropped your DD off, because most people's reaction would be 'oh, where is CM?'

I find the whole post far to contradictory. The title is inflammatory and you seem to have zero awareness of the fact that you are the person who ultimately left your DD

In the thread title the CM left your DD with an under 16. Your post then says actually, you yourself left your child. And the person may have been over 16z

Perhaps get a grasp of your own side of the story before attempting to tackle anything else.

Hmm

What a waste of every ones time

Original poster
StayClassySally · 12/11/2019 14:56

Why would I know the age of other people's children that I have nothing to do with?

OP posts:
habipprtyh · 12/11/2019 14:58

Why would I know the age of other people's children that I have nothing to do with?

You literally handed your daughter to her. If you have nothing to do with her, why did you do that?

You said she was under 16 then maybe 15/16 - if you didn't know you should not have stated under 16 you should have stated you didn't know.

DobbinOnTheLA · 12/11/2019 15:06

I don't think the OP's been intentionally misleading. |Yes the title says under 16, and the DD most likely is. And I know there are September-borns as I have one myself, but it's a fair assumption. The OP has also said that others do open the door, on reflection the CM normally calls out. OP herself was in a rush as late for work, and then left broad-sided as the CM drove in and walked in looking stressed. Previous discussions with the CM have not gone well and there are issues with other childcare providers.

And even if the DD is 16, registered with Ofsted, or not required as all over 8, covered by insurance, I would expect as courtesy to be told that at times the DD may watch the mindees for a very short period. The OP is paying for a service, not for the CM to be rushing about like Miss Rabbit and her 40 other jobs.

Sorry for speaking on your behalf OP!

Original poster
StayClassySally · 12/11/2019 15:24

Thanks so much @DobbinOnTheLA I can't tell you how much I appreciate that.

I genuinely did not realise she wasn't there until I was sat in my car and saw her arrive.

I feel silly now as I genuinely expected her to be in her house at the time she is paid to be there. On other occasions I have asked where CM is if it is not her who opens the door but this time I didn't. Inevitably this is the time she wasn't there. Ultimately, yes it was I who left her and not the CM but only because she wasn't where I (reasonably) expected her to be.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 12/11/2019 15:32

There's nothing wrong with the thread title. Other minders were there some the childminder left some people's children with the DD. I don't know why people are being so ridiculously picky and lacking in comprehension.

OP I would want an explanation from the childminder but, given the other stuff, I think I would find other care.

Comefromaway · 12/11/2019 15:36

The reason we are talking about the exact age of the childminder's dd and the age of the other children are that the rules and regulations regarding childminding is different according to whether the children are aged 8 and above or under 8 and whether the dd is 16 or not.

Graphista · 12/11/2019 16:10

Where is “best in the area” coming from? Told by who? giving the problems you’ve had with her?

Did you get references? Did you check ofsted ratings and reports?

I’d have withdrawn my child as soon as there were issues, why have you left it so long?

At this point definitely withdraw your child and don't be pressured into paying for "notice" either because she has repeatedly broken not only the terms of your contract but the law/regulations on numerous occasions by the sound of things.

Hope you find good quality childcare you can trust.

HeatedDryer · 12/11/2019 16:27

Sorry to labour the point OP, can you clarify if you were in your car about to leave when you saw the childminder drive in?

Original poster
StayClassySally · 12/11/2019 16:54

Yes, in the car getting ready to drive away when I saw the CM drive in. Until that point I assumed she was in the house but not in sight.

Before I moved to the area I had already heard of this CM. I had recommendations from acquaintances and had references before signing. Wondering if she has gone downhill in the time since DD started. When DD started, there were three assistants and numerous children of all ages. Now just CM.

OP posts:
RightEarlobeBreath · 12/11/2019 18:24

Why would you hand over your child to a child even if the childminder was on the premises? Surely you’d actually handover to the person who is meant to be looking after your child not just whoever answered the door at the time?

I wonder how many times you’ve been told she was in the house somewhere but she actually wasn’t.

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