What exactly is ‘family admin’ ?

[LuckySeventhWave]

I have a calendar on the fridge door. If there’s a parents evening, after school club or dentist appointment I write it on there.

It takes about 12 seconds.

What are mums doing that warrants ‘time set aside per week for family admin’?

*Booking Ds2's Parents Evening took me a good 10 minutes!

I’m so sorry, you’re just not as wonderful as the OP.*

When I book parents evening I have to first work out 2 times that won't clash with each other if they end up running late and with club runs - then I have to coordinate them with the other 2 adults with a collective 5 dc who I run a stall with at each parents evening - who have to run that past their dp on some occasions. It can be a pretty long process, I'm just not as on top of life clearly

So what's the actual issue here?
Is it that people are spending more than 12 seconds on things?

Is it that some people can't possibly understand that other people's circumstances might be different or harder or easier?

Is it the use of "life admin"? Would mental load be better ,or is that wanky as well?

Would it all make sense suddenly and the wide eyed faux innocence "i just don't get it" threads disappear if we just called it life stuff?

Family admin = shit you have to deal with because life

Yes, additional shit that has to be done due to having and looking after a family. Agree.

Filling and checking bill
Statements / bank statements
Booking appointments
Checking around for better deals on insurance / bills
Organising cards and gifts for Both family sides
Perhaps not a weekly thing though

Lots of the people not understanding and accepting others can have different experiences whiskey.

Family admin is distinct from life admin in my head. Family stuff is things that should be agreed/shared out amongst the adults in the house.

I just do mine in my lunch break at work, it usually takes about 20 minutes a week. I have a diary and pay bills online very quickly.

Family admin is distinct from life admin in my head. Family stuff is things that should be agreed/shared out amongst the adults in the house.

But that's the thing. In your head.

In mine it isn't. Because I'm a single adult in this household.

In mine it's just shit I have to do!

But that's why I'm saying labelling it isn't always helpful. There's no need for anyone to have to justify the jobs as anything. They are tasks that come along as family life. They are also tasks that come along with single people or couples with no children.

Admin tasks are obviously admin tasks. Something that (unfortunately) needs doing.

Lola you're spot on imo.

Everyday things like booking appointments, paying bills etc

It’s no big deal but often a pita and times a little time consuming

I think it does matter what family admin means if you want to sneer at people for spending more time on it than you.

I think family skin is any organisational tasks related to the children or dependant adults (anyone needing their care/ finances/ medical treatment etc sorting out by you because unable to do it themselves temporarily or permanently, such as a parent with dementia or an adult child or sibling with learning disabilities).

I have so much to do between studying in my final year, working shifts, and 3 school age children with entirely separate school lives, medical schedules and sporting schedules that sometimes I drop a ball and there are consequences. I've found that while smsll children need vastly more childcare, young teens and older primary school children bring more administration and things which have to be done. Juggling all their appointments with shifts and an expectation of a degree of flexibility plus 16 compulsory attendance hours of lectures and meeting essay deadlines and studying for exams is an absolute shit. I also have to do it all in my second language.

So the idea that people who are overwhelmed by family admin and the snarky self satisfied determination to insist it only takes 3 seconds per year is beyond irritating.

It's very much like the people who live alone in a flat they only return to to sleep, with the protective film still on the never used oven, claimin that cleaning only takes 15 minutes per week and the Sahm with 4 preschool children who don't go to childcare and are in the house most of the day, eating home cooked meals every mealtime, doing crafts and making mess, is just inefficiently filling in time in her boring life spending any longer than 15 minutes per week cleaning ...

*admin not skin

Could not agree more Agnes

Including stuff like car insurance, car tax, house insurance and booking holidays don't really count. All things that are done once a year or maybe more for the holidays if you're lucky. None of them are particularly hard or time consuming. I do all of them whilst sitting watching TV

Need to be careful when sahp big up family admin to a working parent. Most of us do family admin, life admin, plus admin for other people.

Need to be careful when sahp big up family admin to a working parent.

Who's doing that on this thread?

Need to be careful when sahp big up family admin to a working parent

Surely most people are able to determine when someone is talking about their own life and ergo don’t apply it to your own?

GrumpyHoonMain are you one of those people who jumps on threads where a Sahm of multiple preschool children and a baby who doesn't use any childcare is having a little vent about being tired and claim she doesn't know she's born because you do everything she does and work too?

It isn't a competition and comparisons are rarely like with like in reality.

Totally agree with @FreeButtonBee and @megletthesecond. Then add in random shift patterns.....

I think I probably spend about a couple of hours a week on family/children's admin but not in one block. Sometimes a simple task like booking a GP appointment can take half an hour between getting through to the GP and then working out childcare/work arrangements.

This week it's been:
Meal planning and online food shopping
Organising Christmas shopping lists for the children's presents - deciding what we're going to get them ourselves, what to suggest to relatives, what DH & I are each responsible for getting
Filling in two questionnaires for youngest's 2 year check and trying to get through to a HV to rearrange the date
Trying (and failing) to book an appointment for middle child's parent's evening - will have to try again next week
Going in to school office to try to resolve problems with booking breakfast club over ParentPay
Going in to preschool to arrange settling in sessions for 2 year old and filling in more forms
Non-uniform days at middle and oldest's schools, involving donating money and a bottle of wine
Organising someone to attend award assembly for oldest with less than 24 hour's notice
Parent rota for Beavers
Forms and money needed for oldest's martial arts grading
Forms and arranging drop off and pick up for football tournament

I have two with 6 monthly dentist appointments (can usually book for after school but this means taking time off or arranging childcare) one with 3 monthly dentist appointments (can usually only book during school time so also need to provide proof and get time off from school), one with 12 monthly optician appointments that I have to remember to book 6 months in advance, one under a hospital clinic.
Unfortunately I don't have a nanny I can call on for childcare so we have to try to work that out between me (almost impossible to take time off), DH (lengthy process for requesting time off) and grandparents.

I'm not saying family admin is uniquely difficult, but it is a thing that takes someone time and effort to do - especially if you have multiple children.

I despise the term family admin, it sounds swanky and I've only ever seen it used regularly on posts about what SAHP do during the day.

However I do get why it can get overwhelming for some. The main thing I do regularly is organise mine and DP shifts and childcare and on more than one occasion have fully broke down and cried because the stress of it is too much.

However there are multiple examples on their thread where I think people need to get a grip. Ordering things online counting as family admin. If you can do it on your phone or laptop whilst watching TV is really that big a deal?

Last night I spent over an hour online sorting out Christmas presents for family friends (and also DH). I do this as he works much longer hours than I do.

A few months ago our car was clobbered in a minor accident. I did almost all the phoning and running around for that, plus waiting in for the garage to come and collect it, clearing our own stuff out of it before it went, looking for another car after it was written off etc etc. I think it took about 7 hours total, plus some time with DH to pick up the courtesy car etc.

At some point I need to order a shredder and destroy all the paperwork we used to burn when we had an open fire.

The animals need vet trips. Kids at uni need shipping to and fro at least once a year. Our local council collects feck all in the way of waste so I'm forever taking glass and garden waste to the tip.

It's all that sort of shit that burns away time.

I have a full time paid job which I think emphasises just how much more there is to family admin than writing a few appointments on a calendar as I am always trying to carve out time to attend to it. But this is a mean spirited, us vs them thread, so I cba to list all the things I count as part of it.

Family admin to me is just organising the family, home and finances. Sometimes I'm busy, others not so much. Some people are organised, some are not, some are super organised.
For example I have a five year monthly cash flow that I keep updated. To me this is necessary but I bet most people don't do it.
I like to keep a food inventory, meal plan etc but not everyone does.
I clear all laundry every weekend.

We all have different standards, priorities etc so it takes the time it takes

MargotLovedTom1 stationery shopping for school can't be done at the supermarket where I live - the wrong margins or line or square size on an exercise book means the child not being allowed to use it and having to rebuy, workbooks have to be ordered and picked up, some things are required next day and available only at stationery shops. This is culturally specific, but then I don't have to buy school uniform or school shoes so it's swings and roundabouts.

An example from this week: DD has two inhalers, a preventer inhaler that she takes twice a day and a reliever inhaler that she takes as needed. We ordered a spare reliever inhaler to leave at nursery, but the instructions on it say to take it twice a day, not as needed. Nursery will only follow the instructons written on the medication so I need to sort out a way with either the doctor or the pharmacist to get the bloody prescription sticker on the inhaler box changed so we can leave it at nursery and they can use it properly.

Family admin!