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Ultimate CF Parking

60 replies

DriftingLeaves · 08/11/2019 10:57

We live opposite a school and there have been problems over the years with idiotic parking. We are opposite the side entrance.

It's quite a narrow lane and no room for parking on both sides or even parking big cars as it stops the traffic altogether. Mostly it's been dealt with by us all parking in the road for a while so there is nowhere for them to park and by regular patrols by community police who ticket those causing an obstruction.

A few weeks ago the main road (where the main entrance is) was resurfaced and double yellow lines and more zig zags have appeared along the road. This limits parking very much and so the lazy ones now try to park in our lane.

I say the lazy ones because they have permission to park in the church car park - 200 yards away or the pub car park 200 yards away. There is also a lay by at the bottom of the lane.

This morning I was walking up the lane when a car turned into a near neighbour's drive. I knew my neighbour was away so as the woman got out (and her child got out) I asked if she was there to see Mrs E. She said she wasn't but there was nowhere else to park and her daughter needed to get to school. Then she tried to walk round me.

I said she couldn't park there and she needed to move. She had a major hissy fit, drawing quite a bit of attention and embarrassing her DD. Another neighbour came out and took a photo of her car and said it would be reported.

So she got back in and reversed out crossly, nearly hitting other cars trying to go down the lane. Unbelievable.

OP posts:
LizzieVereker · 08/11/2019 20:51

@DriftingLeaves - I’m nominating this for Classics on the basis of that magnificent diagram, which is the benchmark by which all other CF parking diagrams should be measured. Bravo.

Weenurse · 08/11/2019 20:56

@reallyrandomwords🤣😂

ellendegeneres · 08/11/2019 21:12

I saw this on a neighbours drive once. Only we live a 5min walk up a steep hill away from school and loads of parking closer so I really thought they must have been visiting neighbour. Walked out and said hi, Susan will be back in a min, just nipped to Tesco. They looked at me and said who? I went the person who’s drive you on.. her I don’t fucking know who lives here, I needed parking for x school. Me 😂😂 walked back inside til I saw neighbour pull up.

Went out and explained what happened and she parked blocking it. Few hours later she handed me her house keys to feed her cats and fucked off on holiday for a month 😂😂😂
Woman came back every day hoping she could get her car out. Screamed at me that she was calling the police. They showed up, cause she reported someone blocking her on HER drive. I went out again (nosy bastard me) and says ohhh, I didn’t recognise you Susan, why don’t you pop inside and grab proof that this is your house here to show these nice officers? Would hate for them to think you’re wasting their time... oh wait! You’re not Susan! You’re that daft twat who parked on her drive and refused to move! She’s on holiday love!

Gave ‘susan’ the updates, best laugh in ages. Nothing good happens round here.

Never did see that woman again after she got her car back 🤷🏻‍♀️

ControversialFerret · 08/11/2019 21:42

Ellen you win MN - hands down Grin

Winesalot · 08/11/2019 22:07

Ellen Legendary!

reallyrandomwords · 08/11/2019 23:04

Aww Ellen you actually lived my plan! Grin

DriftingLeaves · 09/11/2019 00:03

What a hero!

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 09/11/2019 00:08

Best mumsnet parking diagram ever! Applauds

IWantADifferentName · 09/11/2019 06:17

Love the diagram! And the tree in the front garden!

And well done for standing up to cheeky fuckers!

Mamalicious16 · 09/11/2019 09:00

Oh! The diagram is not to scale?!! ( Clutches pearls).

Fab diagram btw

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