My crazy life

[Ohdearieme1987]

So- my life is crazy and way out of balance. For background, I work 60plus hours a week, as does my Husband. We also have a 3.5 daughter. But our life is totally mad- neither of us can cut down hours ( I own my business) and my husband is a director of another company. We have a cleaner and someone to help with the ironing. But still everyday is a struggle- my clothes are dirty or wrong and I eat badly. My house is a mess, my social life is dire and it’s all a bit too much. Anyone have any ideas/ advice/ anything?!

Well- funnily enough, you judgemental bitch- she comes to work with me. So 60 hours plus.

I love this response!

Do you mean that you're just in the same building as her? How much time does she actually get to spend with you being her parent?

Wow you really are being a judgmental (or rather goady) cow. This is utterly irrelevant to what op asked.

I certainly judge parents who work those hours and yet instead of spending free time with their child they decide to prioritise the gym. It's outrageous.

Oh please!!

Parents all over the country work those hours (because they have to!) and they are still entitled to 3 sodding hours a week to themselves in the gym. Hell, they’re entitled to 3 hours sitting in the bus shelter watching the traffic go by if that’s what gives them the downtime they need. Get over yourself.

My post asked if anyone had tips/ ideas on how to organise a busy life. Nothing to do with my parenting choices. Perhaps I was overtly rude- but better than underhand and ignorant.

You’ve identified your issues so that’s a good first step.
If you can get your food sorted then that’s going to benefit you greatly. Firstly, you’ll eat decent nourishing meals and secondly, you’ll free up head space.
Plan your meals for the week. People rave on about slow cookers so that might suit you. Bit of pasta and sauce or curry and rice won’t take too long.
Buy lots of frozen veg including frozen onions. It makes cooking much easier.
Get into a laundry routine too. You don’t need to be wearing dirty clothes.
As for the mess, do you mean clutter?
If so, deal as l with it in little steps. For example, every weekend, get rid of 10 things and take them to the charity shop or bin them.
In 6 weeks, you’ll have made a huge difference.
As for social life, just book in stuff and go. Maybe once a month to start off with.

Have you considered getting a pa to help you with work? You could get one who is virtual, so you won't need to worry about overheads.
They can organise your diary, handle calls, do your admin work, business dependant they can format documents, create presentations etc.

It was the best thing my oh did because although he is still working 50/60 hour weeks, we seem to have more us time with dcs.

Wow, in all my time on MN, never seen a poster be so rude. Not sure even why they are posting. Google incivility.

Please tell me you’re talking about @MsPotterPepper and not OP!
MsPotterPepper is being incredibly rude.

Thank you Ilive- some really great ideas. Clutter mainly or perhaps the actual expectation of myself needs to relax. And maybe I just can’t do it all!

I certainly judge parents who work those hours and yet instead of spending free time with their child they decide to prioritise the gym. It's outrageous.

DFOD

In terms of workwear I plan (very roughly) what I'm wearing to work that week so make sure it's all clean & good to go. My days off you will find me in stained clothes but i'm presentable at work.

If you're out of the house 7-7 daily then it's the same as me and DH. It's long but it's not exactly terrible. We still manage to eat properly, do laundry, tidy etc although we do have a cleaner that comes once a week.
We do food shopping on a Saturday but you can easily have it delivered to home if you're pushed.
How do you use your time in the evening? It sounds like you need to get some routine in terms of chores.

Are you suggesting I shouldn’t go to the gym? Sacrifice myself on the altar of motherhood? Good God!

Do you have any judgement for the father or is it just the mother?

I judge both parents equally.

Time in the evening- eating, clearing up, packing bags/ cars and then flaking really - I guess I could be more productive!

Jesus no, don't make any sacrifices for your child.

My life is pretty crazy with a full time job, multiple children and a dog! I find having a cleaner, organising things the night before, exercising and fresh air helpful for my sanity. Some of my dc come to work with with me which makes mornings and drop offs easier but I also keep a super organised colour coordinated diary to keep on top of social events and kids activities.

My biggest piece of advice is to be kind to yourself and acknowledge your limits. You’re doing the best you can and get as much help as you need/ can afford

And maybe I just can’t do it all!

Yeah accept it & don't feel bad about it. Maybe one week you do gym x 3, week after gym x 2 & friends x 1 etc

I also get up early to have some time to myself before the dc get up

In what world is calling someone a "judgmental bitch" not being rude?

One where it's a statement of fact?

There has been some really helpful and great advice on this thread. So thank you!

If you could spend some time over the weekends looking up some slow cooker meals, working out a meal plan, pre-prepping, bagging and labelling, then freezing you will find yourself in a few weeks in the position of being able to open the freezer in the morning, grabbing a bag, tipping it into the slow cooker and coming home to a lovely ready to eat dinner. The work is all in the prep which can be done at the weekends.

WRT clothes: could you stretch to having 10 “work” outfits? And does your ironing lady put the stuff away in the wardrobe for you? If not I would ask if she could do this. That way, regardless of what day she comes you always have 5 outfits ready to go in the morning for the week ahead.

For laundry I stick everything in at night after we’re all in Pyjamas and set the wash to finish for when I wake up so I can hang it. But in your situation could you ask your cleaner and/or ironing lady to hang it when they arrive? That might cover you for 2/3 days a week and then you could do the rest at the weekend?

OP, can you delegate more at work so you don't have to work such long hours?

I also keep a really detailed diary - every appointment/trip/party/sports match/recital is in the diary and arrangements made.

Also wardrobe is planned. I organise outfits fur week and have them ready night before - this actually makes a huge difference to my morning.

Amazing cheesecake- thank you so much!

Have also set my alarm for 0500 tomorrow- I wake up at half past anyway- so not too brutal...