Things I have learnt since becoming rich (a.k.a. fuck you: Nigella and Jamie)

[TheAutumnHere]

1. Having an oven that holds temperature stops cakes falling
2. A stand mixer simplifies baking by a factor of at least 4, and improves the results
3. Branded vacuum cleaners actually remove dirt from the floor
4. Le Creuset pans don't stick, and just wipe clean
5. Baking with children is delightful japes, when timed the morning before the cleaner comes
6. Corn fed chicken is the bomb

Just leaving a note to my past self - who never cut herself any slack and thought she was a slattern and a crap cook.

@IfWishesWereFishes - but of the 200 posta on my thread - how many are saying versions of @Redspider1 's message - that they have cheap pans and difficult circumstances and do just great & I need to get a grip & stop whinging about my tools. Particularly odd since I'm actually praising my tools and not whinging at all.

You're saying that if I'd posted a sadface OP about struggling to stretch my budget to the end of the week then folks would have been nice. That may be so. That's basic manners and human decency.

But with me being unlikeable and invulnerable people can say what they really think: that anyone can make delicious healthy meals for their family - it just takes a bit of common sense and resilience. That's what old me thought people thought. This thread has shown me that I was right. Life has shown me that they're wrong.

@TheHumansAreDefinitelyDead - I don't want to say - its niche & outing (& I'm regretting not name changing now the thread has got a bit acrimonious). Biggest difference is that now it's salary & no childcare costs. 'Rich' means that I can go to John Lewis & buy whatever pan I like - and still afford to pay for my kids' school dinners. I'm no millionaire!

I agree with you OP. I don't know why you're getting such a hard time.

We were poor when the kids were small and I really struggled to keep on top of the house. We lived in a succession of rented houses, we had no dishwasher, no tumble drier, no car. I found it really difficult to declutter the house because I had no way of transporting things. I couldn't carry bags of old clothes/toys/glass bottles etc to the recycle centre.
We had rubbish aluminium pots that always burnt on the awful electric hobs. I struggled to cut vegetables with our rubbish knives. I really noticed a difference when I cooked in my parents house.

We aren't rich now but we are no longer poor. We own our house, we have a car, a dishwasher and a tumble drier. We have an induction hob, good quality steel pots that hardly ever burn.

It is so much easier to keep the house clean and organised.

My sister recently made a comment about how messy my house used to be, and I felt it was really unfair. She has recently had a baby, but she has all of the aforementioned things, plus a cleaner. She will never understand.

Okay - let me ramp up the boasting:

New OP: When I was in Cambridge, my exam results gave me a book grant. And I had a cheap room in catered halls all three years.

Is this a not allowed thing to tell people? I tell that to all my godchildren. Because really - a lot of folk don't have the social capital to know this stuff. They get fixed into the headline that Cambridge is posh - and they won't naturally know that it can be the most accessible university for a kid from a low income background.

Yeah - I was lucky - I know it. I really do think I should also speak about it an deconstruct what goes into it.

The same that old me would have liked someone to deconstruct for me how much of my time I was spending on menial skivvy work compared to someone who had a better house. Whether I used that information to adjust my expectations, or get angry or change my job - knowledge is empowering.

@LookingGlassMilk - yes - exactly that.

The drip drip drip of comments about 'how hard is it to just tidy up once in a while' or TV shows about 'home made pizza thats quicker and easier than a takeway' just wore at my self esteem.

I did learn to filter and rationalise - but it all took additional mental effort.

@LookingGlassMilk - and though I learnt to filter - its only now that I really understand how little credit I gave myself.

The month of taking all the laundry (on foot) to a launderette with 2 kids under 3. I have not a clue how I managed that.

I totally understand what you are saying OP and agree with you.

OP, other PPs have said it better than me, but it is not just the message, it is the WAY you have said it. Reread your first 5 or so posts and tell me my comments were unjustified and you still cannot understand why you got people's hackles up.

This thread is unnecessary. I simply dont believe that you wanted to share your wisdom with those less fortunate to make them feel better about their struggles. If your oven doesn't heat evenly and your pans warp, then you know you are dealing with poor quality equipment, you really don't need some self confessed "rich person" telling you that, because it won't make you able to afford better. People aren't stupid. I don't buy the idea that everyone who burns their dinner blames themselves and thinks they cannot cook, when the obvious and obtainable solution is to buy expensive bakeware and be told this by The Darling of the PTA. You are not lifting people up, OP. You are shitting on them from a great height, and that you can't see that is astonishing.

This hugely resonates with me because there's a moral superiority espoused by wealthy people who find life easy in areas such as making meals from scratch, having an immaculate house etc. Rather than correctly credit this success as stemming from their access to money, they attribute it to their good attitude and hard work. They assume that if poor people had better attitudes, they're lives would be easier too. Poorer people buy into it, as seen by the number of people on this thread who can churn out a souffle using a left over jam jar but that's not the point.

I see this all the time on Mumsnet. So many people who will say "yes, I went to private school and had help to buy my first house but I work damn hard!" They can't bring themselves to recognise that people who didn't go to private school and who are renting might work hard too. People want to think they're responsible for their success but that's rarely the case in the society we live in.

The month of taking all the laundry (on foot) to a launderette with 2 kids under 3. I have not a clue how I managed that.

If someone had come along in that time and said "it's not your fault this is all a bit shit, you just need to be able to afford a washing machine" would it have helped?

@BendyLikeBeckham - people tell me "aren't you good - we can always rely on you to bring delicious cakes". Hence that's what I characterise June as. Someone who's told they are supportive of the school/community minded/ talented / hard working.

May was never told that.

What apart from the PTA comments was goady?

As for the rest - poster after poster has told me that a bad workman blames their tools - or that I needed to apply a bit of common sense in my purchases. I've seen other threads on other forums where the OP is discredited as being envious. I'm none of those things: not a bad cook, not a whinger, not envious. And I genuinely thought then that most of the blame for my shortcomings was lack of nous and effort on my part.

I understand that the basic fact that I am declaring myself as rich upsets people - but its not progressive to look for ways in which people can be divided and blocked out of the debate.

I'm rich and I have opinions on poor people issues. Yeah - its a shit message - but it is not essential to shoot the messenger.

@KatyCarrCan sorry and I hope they are good memories....But now you are making me feel old. I am only in my 30s

1. Unless it's broken most ovens can hold their temperature.
2. Can you get an non-branded vacuum? (Ps. Not they don't. It's like brand name Ibuprofen doesn't work any better. It's a placebo)
3. Just an overpriced cast iron pan.

Quality ingredients matter. But marketing is great at making you think you need fancier stuff once you've got more money.

@TheWorldAsh : it didn't; I did & I thought that too.

Hence I thought it was my fault my food wasn't good.

But my experience was the opposite.

How come the hecklers on this thread are
split between people telling me I'm a
supercilious rich person rubbing people's noses in the bleeding obvious (better kit gets better results much easier) - and people telling me I'm a bad cook falling for marketing to think that better kit gets better results much easier. Which one is it...?

Ha ha!

I get you.

define rich

@pelirocco123 - rich is buying a Miele washing machine.

Hell , who bakes cakes , let alone with children when they are rich ?

@leghairdontcare has it spot on.

There are soooooo many folk on MN that wilfully ignore the fact that having money and good quality stuff makes your life easier. It's shit and unfair, but we're not competing on a level playing field in life.

Imagine contestants on Bake Off or Masterchef - one gets a lovely kitchen to work in with a reliable oven with an even temp, and nice non-stick pans and equipment. The other gets an old unreliable oven and a random collection of old stuff with a few burn marks, none of which is quite the right size or material.

Can you not see how person 1 is hugely advantaged? Yes, person 2 could still manage to win, but it would be more effort and more difficult.

And theres another thing - kids rarely missing sports kit now machines can wash & dry them between breakfast 'muuuuum I neeeeed it todaaaaay' and school
run.

It only takes routines and a little organisation - no excuse for missing uniform - simpering smile.

People who are better than you, that's who Peli

@TheAutumnHere I'm not going to argue that there's plenty of cases where better equipment = better results.

However 'brands' don't equal better equipment. Marketing makes people think a Dyson is better than a Hoover for example. #Henry4Life

Oh and I own a Miele washing machine because it's the right tool for the job (I place a lot of stress on washing machines) not because of its 'brand'

(Still not going to ever pay £200+ for a cast iron pot)

However 'brands' don't equal better equipment
Outside of the fashion world, they generally do. Which isn’t to say that the biggest brand is necessarily the best. But famous/respected brands generally offer a better experience and quality. Henry is an extremely well respected brand. I have one myself! I could afford a more expensive machine but I value durability and reliability over small benefits elsewhere.

How come the hecklers on this thread are
split between people telling me I'm a
supercilious rich person rubbing people's noses in the bleeding obvious
You're saying cleaning is easier now you have a cleaner so this
- and people telling me I'm a bad cook falling for marketing to think that better kit gets better results much easier. Which one is it...?
but also this because I think your probably a bad cook or lacking in knowledge but your getting good results now you've got good equipment. However you've fallen into the trap that expensive = better probably because you've gone from one extreme to the other and have seen results.
So it's a bit of both.

I now have a Miele washing machine and a Henry hoover but sadly no posh cast iron pans. I have been a single parent and struggled for money and am now married to a guy who is considered very well off so i dont need to struggle anymore though i dont have a cleaner and im only an average cook but i definitely know which lifestyle i prefer.