Break-A-Wish ... just for fun

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So, this is a little game to play, like Make-A-Wish, but you break someones' wish by grianting it, and then making it bad.

So for example
Poster 1: I wish I won the lottery!
Poster 2: Congratulations! You wont hte kacpot, but cna't find your ticket... I wish I was taller!
Poster Three: Poof, you're 10ft tall... etc

here's my wish :

I wish that Someone else would make dinner tonight!

Poof! You've painted your nails poo brown. Your DCs tell you to go and wash your hands.

Oops I wish I could be bothered to get off the sofa and read DS a story.

You read him a story (IT) and now he’s terrified Pennywise is coming for him so you have to stay up with him, all night, every night for the next six months.
I wish I had a new nightdress.
(PS: I don’t have kids, thankfully)

Poof! You leap off the sofa with enthusiasm, then your DS asks you to read 'War and Peace' from start to finish.

I wish I could find where I've put my DVD of 'The Talented Mr Ripley'.

x-post

You have a new nightdress. It's ankle length and made of brushed nylon with a delightful pattern of turquoise and orange flowers.

That would suit me! I don’t mind nylon... and I would love an ankle length nightie, but the print sounds hideous. I would consider it. You forgot to say your wish.

This thread is so fun! We need another when this one is full! Hopeful Bump as I’m enjoying this thread!

Ignore the bit about forgetting your wish, I must have missed it. Poof, you find the DVD but you are sucked into it and have to live as a character from it. I wish I had some new cardigans

Poof! Your kindly next door neighbour knits you some new cardigans. Unfortunately, she's a terrible knitter and they're full of dropped stitches but you have to wear one whenever you leave the house so you don't hurt her feelings.

I wish my cats would use the new bed I've just got them.

Poof! You have some new cardigans, but someone has put them on a hot wash so half of them have shrunk and the other half are stretched out and full of holes.
I wish I wasn't so tired.

@ScreamingCosArgosHaveNoRavens Poof, they use the bed but you have to sleep in it beside them. I wish I had some new fluffy socks.

@CigarsofthePharoahs Poof, you’re not tired just now, but you are permanently tired from tomorrow but can never sleep again. I wish I had a sour watermelon tango ice blast.

Poof! Admittedly I don't know what that is, but it sounds full of additives and artificial gubbins, so it makes you utterly wired and you can't sleep a wink all night - you drop off at work tomorrow instead, and a colleague posts a video of you snoring and dribbling on Youtube.

I wish these bloody flies would leave me alone!

Poof! They leave you alone because there's a much more attractive rotting dead dog under the table.

I wish my pelvic floor was in better shape.

Poof! Your pelvic floor is in better shape. It's a dodecahedron.

I wish I didn't have to have a blood test tomorrow.

Poof! Your blood test has been cancelled because the NHS has been privatised and you are too poor to access healthcare.

I wish I wasn’t so itchy.

shockers

Poof! Your skin no longer itches but has turned a nice shade of green.

I wish someone would drive me to work...

Poof! Someone will drive you to work! They are loudly and openly racist and have BO which melts your face. There are also fleas in their car.

I wish I could go out for a lovely breakfast.

Poof! You go out for a dog's definition of a lovely breakfast - a bowl full of bland little tiny hard biscuits.

I wish my hands would warm up!

Poof! They are on fire.
I wish people didn't think our hedge was a rubbish bin.

Poof! People think your hedge is a really good bin and leave even more litter in it.

I wish people would walk in a straight line and not veer into me in the street.

Hey, no fair, you're supposed to grant my wish!

Poof! Everyone has turned into Daleks and hovers in a straight line trying to exterminate you.
I wish the living room wasn't covered in junk.

I tried! Tell you what. I'll upgrade the bin from "rubbish" to "really good" to "quite outstanding" if you let me stay in my lantern and keep my wand (better safe than sorry). I'm more of a fascist than a Dalek, when it comes to pavement etiquette by the way.

Poof! Your living room has been taken over by Scrapheap Challenge and there is currently a submarine somehow made out of old magazines and unwanted coasters in the middle of it. On the upside you can get Kryten's autograph.

I wish there was another series of Sarah & Duck rather than that little shit Bing.

Poof! You’ve got your series of Sarah & Duck (whatever that might be), but it’s in Mandarin, on a loop, and your TV won’t switch off.

I wish someone would come and whisk me away for an adventure.

Poof! Your adventure is that you're lost in your town's network of sewer pipes, and you have to find your way out with nothing more than a torch and a compass.

I wish my house could be magically redecorated overnight.