Holding in farts

[Kittykat93]

I am so sorry to even make this thread but I need help. I have IBS, and have recently started dating somebody. We spend a couple of evenings together a week, and things are going well and I do feel comfortable with him.

However. I spend half the night squirming around feeling like I need to let rip! That sounds gross and I'm sorry but I really am a windy person and I can't help it I hate it :(

It's really painful and obviously I do go to the bathroom to let some go but I can't spend the whole night in there!

This problem sounds ridiculous I'm aware, but it's actually really getting me down. I was falling asleep last night and all of a sudden was awoken by a huge trumpet sound which I very quickly realised was me!!!!! Its because I'm holding them in all night!!

Please, how do I reduce this problem? Give me all of your remedies. I'll try anything.

Thank you if you've managed to read that to the end :)

I'm the same OP is the dietary advice based around the FODMAP diet? That really helped me.

I don't understand how you lot can hold them in for very long

Tell him, it excuses the ones you can't help and he's either going to find out about the IBS or think you're gross sooner or later!

Honestly, just tell him. Be brave. I’ve got Crohn’s Disease-love me, love my broken bowels and my DH does.

If he’s a decent bloke he won’t care. It’s actually a great way of filtering the arse holes out of your life.

I know it’s hard but everyone farts. Make a joke out of it and start by saying ‘Wow, something’s disagreed with me today, I’m really bloated’ then excuse yourself for a toilet trump.

If he cares for you he wouldn’t want you to be sitting there in discomfort. Just do it. This is a long term issue and if you’re going to be together he need to accept that farting is part of the deal. If he doesn’t like it then better to find that out now so you can meet someone that isn’t a complete twat.

And also being able to relax with a partner who doesn't care if I fart when I'm asleep . I have previously kept myself awake most of the night with THE FEAR of farting. Capitalised because it's such a terrible thing.

Oh yes I'm also guilty for getting in the car after work and absolutely letting rip the entire way home!

I know with me it's carbs that are the main issue. But I bloody love them :(

I know I need to grow a pair and be honest with him.

I'm also guilty for staying awake at night trying not to fart. It's ridiculous really when I think about it

When I went keto 4 years ago I stopped farting. Honestly was so surprised because I was like you. Bad IBS and wicked farts. They used to even surprise me! It was something I didn't notice until I had carbs again and was back immediately to farting like a fog horn. It's worth a try?

Slightly different so forgive me if my advice isn't 100% relevant but I have ulcerative colitis and when it's bad I have trouble with painful wind too...

Sulphurous veg make it worse, so garlic, green leafy things, mushrooms etc.

Try reducing sugar (definitely reduce artificial sweeteners) and caffeine.

The thing that I realised after a while is that the more I kind of tensed up to hold things in, the worse it was. I found that taking good deepish breaths (the kind of inhale that makes your tummy move out) allowed wind to resolve in my tummy rather than coming out as a fart.

Lastly, I found it very useful to be upfront about my condition. All my friends and colleagues knew I had colitis so if I suddenly left the room or whatever there were no raised eyebrows.

Proper adults tend to be pretty cool about this sort of thing!

If it’s the smell you’re worried about dropping there’s a company called shreddies that make fart-filtering underwear and pyjamas bottoms. They really do work but obviously don’t stop the noise.

I also have IBS and this reminds me of the time I was in a long M&S queue (it was a mini one at the station) and suddenly I released one, couldn’t hold it in. No noise but oh my god the smell was like rotting corpses! It even made me heave! So I just turned around like everyone else with a disgusted look on my face as if to say “who did that?”. What else could I do? so I feel your pain. But yes you need to talk to him about it. Look at it this way, it’ll show you whether he’s a keeper or not!

I sympathise OP!

A few years ago I had spent the night with a new man and woke up in the morning with the WORST wind. I had to hold it in for a good 45 minutes while he faffed about getting his things together and cuddling up to me, my god I just wanted the bloke to leave so I could give my poor stomach some relief.

To try and encourage him to go I said I was going to McDonald’s for a hangover breakfast and could he please move his car. He took the hint and we both left the house, I kissed him goodbye and jumped into my car as he got in his.

Finally fucking safe and with two sets of car doors between us I let off the most ENORMOUS fart, the kind that goes on for at least five seconds and absolutely stinks, only to turn my head to be horrified by the sight of him standing next to my driver window looking very shocked .

There was no way in all that was holy I was going to open the window to speak to him and let him smell my dead animal arse breath so I squeaked “can I help you” through the closed window and he yelled back “just wanted to say I had a lovely time” and walked back to his car.

I died of embarrassment we managed to go the entire six months of our relationship without ever mentioning but the thought still fills me with horror .

It’s actually a great way of filtering the arse holes out of your life.
Lol at how apt this is!

Just tell him.

Please

Do not take medication for a problem that doesnt have to be a problem

Or if you really feel you cant tell him, go out the room and do it.
Go into the toilet and pull the chain and have a fart

But if he cares for you, he won't mind and honesty is key

Fellow IBS sufferer here too, holding them in is the the worst, mine tend to squeak out in a high pitched squeak with a question mark at the end...hilarious when alone, not so funny at work or with DP

I had a boyfriend once who hated people burping and farting. It didn't last. My next boyfriend stated early on in our relationship that he wanted me to feel comfortable enough to fart. I married him.

Or these
www.myshreddies.com/

Boofuckinghoo, that's made me laugh out loud

@BooFuckingHoo2 'can I help you' - love it.

Oh I remember when I started going out with now DH. I used to get such a sore tummy from holding them in! I don't have ibs I just fart a lot!

I can't remember exactly when I stopped holding them. It couldn't have been any longer than a month and we were seeing each other 5/6 times a week. He done a big fart one night and we laughed and I said oh well uv given me the green light now!

I'd maybe bring it up in convo, like oh my stomach is killing me tonight, oh by the way I have ibs. U can't hold it in forever!

‘Can I help you’...this has brought tears to my eyes

OP I really sympathise, my windiness has ramped up since I had major abdominal surgery earlier this year (including a bit of bowel being removed). Farts are frequent, noisy and deadly. DP and I just laugh, and I apologise for the deadly ones, but I do try to refrain when other people are around; not always possible!

Ffs can I help you that has made my evening so thank you!

Diet makes a massive difference to me, particularly excess sugar (including alcohol) onions, sadly foods that are commonly consumed in social occasions.

Back in my very farty days, my survival strategy in the classroom was to stand near the silliest boys in the class and let them have a minute of blaming each other. Only once did one of them pertinently observe that I had been near around the time of the offence and I did have to confess.

I managed to hold one on the occasion that I met my now MiL. I don't know why it didn't occur to me to shuffle off awkwardly to the toilet, but I lasted until we made it to the car park. I was in agony, and it took several sonic booms to get things back as it should be.

The worst was the SBDs after childbirth with a numb pelvic floor and a constitution upset by a month of laxtives. My nose was the first I knew of my enironmental crimes. I didn't leave the house for anything non-essentially medical for a month!

Everyone pumps, you don't need to have ibs to pump. Talk to him. Some people think passing wind is gross and even worse some men think women passing wind is unwomanly and gross (but don't seem to mind so much when its men). You need to find out which camp he is in.

When we were first together i had let my husband know he had pumped in his sleep, that was it and he stopped hiding it 😂 given the state of his rancid arse gas maybe that was a mistake 😂 but at least I don't have to suffer bad tummy pain.

Get a dog to blame them on