The last message you sent is what you shout out when you climax... what is it?

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Mine is ”don’t forget the sausages”

Ohh yes, they have the same colour hair!

Receptionist says I’ll be waiting at least an hour!

This is why I want mittens!! 😂

Is that one of the jobs that you’ve landed yourself with?

Blown tyre!

You late again? Stuck with the measuring?

This thread has had me in stitches.

Downstairs is shut

Haha we'll go with the easy option then

About two shoeboxes worth I guess

'Do you enjoy it there though?' 🤣

'No athletics?'

In the door

Fags wine bog roll.

Are you awake ?

“Are you keeping the gross dried up leftovers?”

Wet wipes

Aye, I'm stuck in traffic so will be a bit late

Look great chwarae teg but I feel like Dawn French when I'm sat on them! 😁

Testicle cloud sunrise

New Carpet!

Your delivery has arrived

"Just arrived" quite apt really!!

Oh god no, anything but that

Are you **ing kidding me?

That's a nice welcome home!