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Original poster

WWYD? A boy cut my DD hair at school today

80 replies

angryscissors · 03/10/2019 21:54

What would you do?
Genuinely interested in your responses - how would you react? How would you feel? Would you say anything?

Secondary school. Often sat boy girl boy girl. He took scissors from his pencil case and was snapping them about in the air and towards DD. She moved as far away as possible on her chair and the table. He cut what I would describe as 3-4 sticks of dry spaghetti bunch of hair from her ponytail.

OP posts:

Soola · 03/10/2019 21:57

I’d be up the school demanding his expulsion.

Soola · 03/10/2019 21:58

What would you do if a colleague cut your hair?

Beamur · 03/10/2019 21:59

I would be furious. Most definitely would be expecting the school to discipline the boy.

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CandyCrush321 · 03/10/2019 21:59

It’s more of a safety issue, I’d complain too as this obviously could’ve been far worse than a few strands of hair. The boy needs to be told how dangerous that was and appropriately sanctioned so he doesn’t do that again.

Grannybags · 03/10/2019 22:00

Are school aware and if so have they taken any action?
At that age he should know better - not like little kids messing around.

Catcrazy008 · 03/10/2019 22:02

I seriously would go ape. I would be so upset. I would expect the school to deal appropriately with this. Your poor daughter.
I would also expect for him if allowed into school never to sit next to daughter

italianfiat · 03/10/2019 22:02

It’s more of a safety issue, I’d complain too as this obviously could’ve been far worse than a few strands of hair.

He assaulted her. How bad does it have to be?

The boy needs to be told how dangerous that was and appropriately sanctioned so he doesn’t do that again.

He assaulted her, he needs to know how wrong that was.

peachgreen · 03/10/2019 22:02

Secondary school?! My goodness. I was expecting this to be about little kids who didn't know any better.

I'd definitely expect the school to take action.

PoptartPoptart · 03/10/2019 22:05

I was expecting this to be about Reception aged children, not secondary school age!
This is appalling op, your poor DD.
I’d be straight up the school demanding to know what measures they are putting in place to ensure this boy can never do this again and also how they plan to discipline him.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 03/10/2019 22:09

I’d go mad- given that the child is above the age of ten, I’d threaten criminal charges via the school

Thingywhatsit · 03/10/2019 22:10

Get on the phone to the school in the morning to discuss it with them.

They will probably deal with it as an assault.

We had a similar situation recently and it got a weeks suspension.

BluePheasant · 03/10/2019 22:11

I'd be furious and I wouldn't allow the school to get away minimising this as "boys will be boys" behaviour. Would he have snipped off a boys hair? Of course he bloody wouldn't. This kind of misogyny needs to be dealt with and I'd be demanding they throw the book at him. Anything less and they are sending the message it's ok to taunt, harrass and physically assault girls. This type of shit escalates.

BCBG · 03/10/2019 22:15

Don't post much but delurking for this. This is an assault, pure and simple, and if he was in a youth court it would be dealt with as such. Whether you choose to pursue action is a matter for you and your daughter but it is most definitely not a decision that the school is entitled to make. So I would discuss with your daughter exactly how she feels, explain that it is unacceptable and then report to the school and if need be, to the police. Incidentally reporting to the police does not automatically mean that a young person enters the criminal justice system but it does mean that the seriousness of his behaviour is discussed and dealt with b

Original poster

angryscissors · 03/10/2019 22:34

Phew and thank you.
I also reacted the same way. I felt it was an assault. I have emailed the school and requested a response in writing from them.

I made it clear I felt it was a criminal assault and that parents must be informed.

I am so proud of my DD today.

It's year 8 for context... absolutely old enough

OP posts:

BluePheasant · 03/10/2019 22:39

Good for you OP. I hope the school react appropriately but be prepared for them to try to brush this under the carpet. For his own good he needs to be shown that this kind of thing is not ok.

1066vegan · 03/10/2019 22:41

Nursery/Reception child : absolutely nothing. It's pretty normal behaviour.
Year 1 child: I'd be surprised and would ask my dc if the incident had been dealt with.

Secondary school age child: I'd be very angry. I wouldn't storm up and demand the child was excluded as an earlier poster suggested (shouting, storming up or other aggressive behaviour is generally counterproductive when making a complaint in any situation; as a parent I would state my case but wouldn't be in a position to demand anything ; I certainly don't have the right to decide what punishment a school imposes).

I'd email my dd's form tutor and copy the Head of Year into the email. I would detail what had happened and ask for confirmation that the tutor was aware of it. I'd want assurance that the incident was being dealt with seriously and that the culprit was being punished. Assuming that this is a one-off incident rather than part of a pattern of bullying, then I wouldn't expect to be told what the punishment was.

CandyCrush321 · 04/10/2019 13:22

Oh gosh I missed the bit about secondary school! Glad you dealt with it OP and yes the school needs to take this extremely seriously.

@italianfiat I’m not sure why you keep mentioning assault... I know full well what this is and said the boy needs to be sanctioned appropriately

italianfiat · 04/10/2019 13:24

I’m not sure why you keep mentioning assault... I know full well what this is and said the boy needs to be sanctioned appropriately

Mostly because your post didn't actually acknowledge that. Partly because your post talked about it being a future safety issue.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 04/10/2019 13:29

I was going to ask what age, because that sort of weird shit happens now and then when they're small, and if they were 5 I would have been complaining to the school that he was allowed to have scissors in his pencil case. At year 8 age (I'm guessing 14 ish) that's assault.

Lllot5 · 04/10/2019 13:30

I cut a off girl’s plait at school once. I don’t remember doing it but my mum has told me since. We were about 6 I think she used to sit in front of me and I just cut it off.
Her mum went mad you can imagine. My only defence is my age but he hasn’t got that. He wouldn’t have done it to a boy either.

jellybeanteaparty · 04/10/2019 13:30

I would include a hairdressing charge to the school/boy as well as wanting it to be taken very seriously

MySonIsAlsoNamedBort · 04/10/2019 13:31

When I was in high school a couple of boys cut the hair off another boy sleeping on the bus on the way back from camp, they were both expelled. It's assault.

CandyCrush321 · 04/10/2019 13:33

Well yes taking action against someone for assault is of course partly to do with future safety, is it not? Not everyone mentioned/acknowledged the assault so it’s strange you singled out my post, and I did say there needs to be appropriate action. Hopefully there now will be.

Welltroddenpath · 04/10/2019 13:33

Totally assault. The boy needs to know now, while a minor that it’s totally unacceptable. Rather than thinking it’s ok and getting a criminal record doing stunts like this after leaves school.

Had similar with my year 9 boy getting a black eye. I wanted the school to show both kids it was unacceptable but they brushed if off. If I happened again I told them they would be informed after the police because if makes them grow up thinking it’s minor but it’s not and a assault charge = dbs clearance = lots of doors shut. That’s the least reason it’s wrong but it shows the potential consequences

ChicCroissant · 04/10/2019 13:34

I'd complain about that in very strong terms and insist they were not sat next to each other ever again as well.

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