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Original poster

WWYD? A boy cut my DD hair at school today

80 replies

angryscissors · 03/10/2019 21:54

What would you do?
Genuinely interested in your responses - how would you react? How would you feel? Would you say anything?

Secondary school. Often sat boy girl boy girl. He took scissors from his pencil case and was snapping them about in the air and towards DD. She moved as far away as possible on her chair and the table. He cut what I would describe as 3-4 sticks of dry spaghetti bunch of hair from her ponytail.

OP posts:

Teddybear45 · 04/10/2019 13:35

A year 8 student should know better and he should be punished severely. Often the violent psychopathic element in my old school started like this and by year 9/10 were trying to use lighters on girls’ hairs.

KUGA · 04/10/2019 13:39

It`s abuse.
Report it asap.

jennymanara · 04/10/2019 14:13

I thought this was going to be very young children and I was going to say, it is just one of those things. But secondary school is totally different.

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PrincessScarlett · 04/10/2019 14:33

Has the school got back to you OP?

This happened in my secondary school years and years ago and it was treated as assault.

Russell19 · 04/10/2019 14:35

Someone of that age really should know better. That's awful.

ProfessorSlocombe · 04/10/2019 14:36

It's only assault if there was intent to hurt or scare (which we can't determine from the OP).

It's certainly careless and possibly reckless behaviour, which are covered by other aspects of law (if we are going there).

It would pay to be in possession of all the facts, before going in guns ablazing. I know that makes me a bit fuddy duddy, and out of touch with todays instagram society, but I've found it makes for a much easier life.

Perunatop · 04/10/2019 14:38

Agree it is an assault and school should take strong action. Waving scissors around near someone's face/head is dangerous anyway as it could easily end in a facial or eye injury. The boys needs disciplining.

AnotherMonickerChange · 04/10/2019 14:45

Is there anything update yet OP? This is unspeakable. I assumed like PPs that this was going to be an infant or primary age incident, not a secondary one.

My eldest is year eight, and I can definitely see one or two lads being capable of something like this after what she has been subjected to already.

I hope they at least suspend this kid, if not expel him. I had some pretty awful shit done to me at school which wasn't even spoken about to my parents by the teachers who dealt with it. Maybe they expected me to tell my parents myself. But if they'd bothered to notice how lacking in ability to stand up for myself and speak to anyone I was, maybe they'd have done something. Or maybe they just didn't think what happened to me was as serious as people would say it was today.

I hope your DD is alright. Secondary can be a horrid place with some horrid individuals in it.

Original poster

angryscissors · 04/10/2019 16:52

I've been a nervous wreck all day. I knew it had greatly affected me last night but I hadn't processed it. I still am and have felt on edge all day watching my phone for a call. No call.

Just got home...

DD had to make a statement today as well as the other children on the table.

According to a friend the boy was also removed from lessons I assume to make a statement. Later seen crying apparently.

I haven't heard from the school but I absolutely feel better now I know they are investigating...

My unease will continue over the weekend but not as bad!

OP posts:

Mishappening · 04/10/2019 16:55

I am surprised that the school did not get back to you to tell you they are looking into it. It is a good thing that they are, but it would have been courteous to reply to your message.

italianfiat · 04/10/2019 20:10

I can't believe you were happy to email and wait. I would have called them straight away to tell them I would be in to see them in the morning.

Mishappening · 05/10/2019 17:18

Never mind the hair cutting (which is of course totally out of order) this boy was waving scissors around!

Dieu · 05/10/2019 17:23

The expulsion thing won't happen. Things have to be much worse than that, for a school these days to be able to get shot of a pupil.
Hope your daughter is ok, OP.

PablosHoney · 05/10/2019 17:35

I hope dd is feeling ok

lljkk · 05/10/2019 17:36

"He cut what I would describe as 3-4 sticks of dry spaghetti bunch of hair from her ponytail."

I would ask my DD how annoyed she was & what did she want to do about it. I'd say I hope she shouted a storm at him at the time.

I wouldn't see it as assault. Kids do stupid things. Nobody got hurt or was at danger of being hurt.

If this was part of a pattern of harrassment I'd try to escalate it to school.

Soola · 05/10/2019 17:42

@lijkk I wouldn't see it as assault. Kids do stupid things. Nobody got hurt or was at danger of being hurt.

Then you must be barmy.

Apart from the physical aspect it’s the attempt to humiliate the girl and lord power over her.

lljkk · 05/10/2019 17:51

Crikey MNers love to project.

Would it be "attempt to humiliate the girl and lord power over her" if the scissors producer was another girl?

omg, he waved scissors around like a numpty. 12 yr olds do stupid things. Who knew?

chocatoo · 05/10/2019 18:26

I would make a formal complaint to School and let them know that I and DD expect a formal response which would include a face to face apology from the boy to DD. I would expect to be present when the apology was made.

burnoutbabe · 05/10/2019 18:54

Legally this does qualify as assault. Assault is just unwanted application of force where force can be as simple as applying a hand to someone. Ie it doesn't have to hurt. Cutting someone's hair without permission has been defined as assault in cases taken to court.
So you could report to the police if you wish. You probably would if an adult did this to you.

june2007 · 05/10/2019 19:08

Burntoutbabe the difference is this isn't an adult He is a child.

Rachelover60 · 05/10/2019 20:24

That's a dreadful thing for the boy to do. I'm glad the op has made a complaint and that school are dealing with it, if he'd got away with it who knows what he might have done next. I bet he wished he hadn't gone near her hair now, serves him right.

billy1966 · 05/10/2019 20:33

I am not one to complain and have been very fortunate that we got through schools without a problem.

But I would be beyond furious if a boy laid a hand on my DD, not to mind cut her hair.

A 12 year old boy knows bloody well not to do something like that.

No, an e-mail would not be enough.
I would have gone in first thing.

Children have a right to not be touched.

He is an absolute brat to have done that.
The stink I would kick up would not be forgotten.

Simply not acceptable.

Very poor of the school not to have contacted you today to let you know what action was being taken.

ProfessorSlocombe · 06/10/2019 09:04

Legally this does qualify as assault.

Assault is just unwanted application of force where force can be as simple as applying a hand to someone.

If the law is that simple, it's a bit of a scandal we are paying so much for courts and lawyers, really. I must have been on holiday the week intent was removed from the books. No wonder law is a young girls game.

Original poster

angryscissors · 10/10/2019 22:48

Well I heard nothing from school for one week so I have gone in today blazing (ridiculously calmly I add). Sat and waited until they called someone to see me (three messages left this week politely asking for update).

Head of year hasn't even phoned the parents. Boy is denying. Keeps crying so they have gently tried a couple of times this week to talk to him.

So as they can't get any sense out of him, a week has passed and they didn't get round to contacting me 'that's on me I suppose' said head of year. Zero apology.

Told them they need to call parents tomorrow and update me before the weekend otherwise I shall report to police who can go over their investigation.

All they managed to discover were other pupils stating the boy was waving scissors around wildly in class. I suggested this meant the teacher wasn't in a position of authority of her class at all.

Frustrated full stop. Not sure how angry I'm supposed to be and where I'm to go next (probably because I'm fucking fuming)

OP posts:

Original poster

angryscissors · 10/10/2019 22:50

Oh and as well as denying it and crying, he's been staring at her all week. She's very uncomfortable right now.

I don't know how I'm holding my shit together for her but I am!

OP posts:

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