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Original poster

Massive parenting fail

134 replies

MonstranceClock · 02/10/2019 17:05

I got called into school today because my 5 year old called her teacher “lame”.

Turns out 2 weeks ago while I was bed bound sick, she had binge watched an entire series of South Park on Netflix. Luckily teacher saw the funny side but I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life! Any one else want to cheer me up with their parenting fails?!

OP posts:

Zoflorabore · 02/10/2019 18:53

My best friend’s 5 year old dd came out of school yesterday shouting that she knows what she wants from Santa, a DIL doll. Said fast it sounds funny!
My friend is quite prudish and made a sharp exit. She obviously meant LOL doll....

MiraLuna · 02/10/2019 19:48

Eldest, at the age of around 3, came out with 'Jesus Christ that's a big poo!' And 'where are the pissing wipes??' Both would have come from me...

raspberryk · 02/10/2019 19:55

My DS when he was 7 said "fuck that" to a friend when they were asked to do something by his teacher. Youtube (at his dads) apparently although it could easily have been my potty mouth. I laughed. She laughed. And we both had a word with "dad" who of course denied all knowledge of youtube on his tablet.

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5 year olds Families

hiddenworlds · 02/10/2019 19:59

The school called you in?

BiBiBirdie · 02/10/2019 20:03

DD used to like taking her socks off, and would be so pleased with herself she'd say "socks off".
Except it didn't sound like socks off. It sounded like sod off.
Her aunt was most unimpressed that we had taught DD swear words and we needed to be careful what we said, as DD had been "telling her to sod off all day" when she babysat.
I've often wanted to actually tell her to sod off so I never corrected her.

Original poster

MonstranceClock · 02/10/2019 20:06

Yeah they wanted to talk to me about it, which I understand. She was incredibly rude which is completely unlike her.

OP posts:

scoobydoo1971 · 02/10/2019 20:23

My daughter was sent to the Head teacher at 5 years old for telling the class teacher that she only worked with small children because she wasn't clever enough to teach older kids...their relationship kind of died right there, in marked contrast to how lovely this teacher was with my son! Kids say all sorts of stuff, and I suppose teachers have to grow a thick skin.

SerafinaPekkalasbroomstick · 02/10/2019 20:30

We tend to find farts quite funny in our house. We recently had my PIL over for dinner as it was MIL birthday. My 4yo daughter farts loudly and announced even more.loudly that "I've done a fart out of my fanny". FIL practically choked on the cake he was laughing so hard and I had to hide unde the table as we vainly attempted to tell her that wasn't an appropriate thing to say!

PushkinTheCat · 02/10/2019 20:31

My 3 year old’s gems when we first got our car included pitch perfect, in context, “oh shit!” (Sudden stops, getting cut up at roundabouts.) But my favourite was definitely his sympathy “Parking difficult, Mummy. You have to say “shit”.”

But I have learned from my mistakes. He now believes that “sunshine” is about the worst thing you can say to someone.

trotesio · 02/10/2019 20:38

Your 5 year old was unsupervised for approximately 7 hours?!?!

Unwell or not, that's pretty shocking.

I don't imagine the teacher saw the funny side - I hope they report is as a safeguarding concern.

theendoftheendoftheend · 02/10/2019 20:46

Your 5 year old was unsupervised for approximately 7 hours?!?!
Unwell or not, that's pretty shocking.
I don't imagine the teacher saw the funny side - I hope they report is as a safeguarding concern.
Bingo!

Lazysundays18 · 02/10/2019 20:50

Yesterday my 3 year old said to
Me,'mummy it's not nice to say fuck.' I didn't even know he could hear me! Now dreading him saying it at nursery 😩😩😩

Original poster

MonstranceClock · 02/10/2019 21:02

Yep. She lay on the sofa watching south park for 7+ hours eating snacks while I lay in bed puking and shivering.

OP posts:

Wereonabearhunt · 02/10/2019 21:03

My father in law is an older gentleman who is lovely but quite abrupt and doesnt watch his language very often..

My 4 year old has been in the playground calling other kids "daft old bastards" cause her grandad calls the dog it 🙈

BetterEatCheese · 02/10/2019 21:11

My dd, then 3, told my Nan that 'Mummy shouts fuck, but only at Daddy.' Fail

Casander · 02/10/2019 21:20

Years ago my ex husband ran out of fuel with the kids aged around 5 and 1 in the car and had to do the walk of shame to the petrol station. That night I said to oldest DS "oh dear, I bet daddy wasn't happy"

"No he wasn't, daddy said fuck"

Tartsamazeballs · 02/10/2019 21:24

Me and my 2 year old were doing a craft thing, which turned into a disaster, which turned into a lentil fight. As I was cleaning up with her help I remarked "I'll be finding bloody lentils til you're 20".

She now can't see a lentil without shouting "look mummy it's another bloody lentil". You'd be surprised where lentils turn up: pre school, children's centres, my vegan MIL's house, crowded supermarkets... FML 😂

MandKsMam · 02/10/2019 21:28

We had an unexpected visit from a social worker last year. We already had a family worker involved anyway but was still a bit of a shock. The reason she got involved was because my then 3 year old told nursery "mammy hit daddy with a hammer on the head". It might have been a brick, I can't remember.

When we got told this in our living room by the social worker, I looked at her dad & said "you can explain that one!".

When we moved into our current house (2 years prior to this) me and her dad were carrying a heavy, tall plant with thorns on. As he stooped to lift it, the thorns scratched his forehead. Our daughter kept going on about it & he kept telling her that I hit him with a hammer or brick. She then decided to tell nursery 🙈

I hope he's learnt his lesson that children DO repeat what u say and take what u say as gospel!

Neighneigh · 02/10/2019 21:32

We were reading the Kipper butterfly book the other night when kipper falls into the lilac bush trying to catch said butterfly..."and he was pissed off" says not-quite-3 ds2. To be fair, kipper probably was.

IncrediblySadToo · 02/10/2019 21:39

*trotesio

Your 5 year old was unsupervised for approximately 7 hours?!?!

Unwell or not, that's pretty shocking.

I don't imagine the teacher saw the funny side - I hope they report is as a safeguarding concern*

Don’t be so fucking ridiculous

Userzzzzz · 02/10/2019 21:41

To be honest I’m with trotesio here. There is nothing worse than being ill while having to look after children but 7 hours of South Park is pretty bad and there is some disturbing content in some of the episodes.

IncrediblySadToo · 02/10/2019 21:42

Thanks for the laughs 🤣

@MonstranceClock. I hope you’re feeling better now?

TheHoundOfWinchester · 02/10/2019 21:43

Ds3 once solemnly told me that his big brother is a dickhead hes also picked up the word Rank/Ranker - meaning disgusting - from elder teen siblings. Often tells us something is "Wank or Wanker" because he cant pronounce R at the beginning of words

Dieu · 02/10/2019 21:54

My daughter, when she was in her first year of primary school, taught all her friends the word 'bagina'. For some unknown reason, she thought it began with a 'b'. It was a private school, and all the posh mothers were asking each other where this 'bagina' word came from

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 02/10/2019 21:59

In the children’s play corner waiting for GP appointment...DD (3) “well someone’s made a right fucking mess here, haven’t they mummy?!!”

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