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I don’t get this joke

94 replies

PhillliPhillli · 28/09/2019 12:18

Blush

I have a feeling you’re all going to explain it to me and it’s going to be obvious, but eh?!

(Printed in our village newsletter)

I don’t get this joke
OP posts:
Soola · 28/09/2019 12:19

The weight of the cigarette. Get it now?

AtrociousCircumstance · 28/09/2019 12:19

Oh come on Grin

The boat has less on it and is therefore lighter (less heavy).

It’s a pun Smile

Soola · 28/09/2019 12:22

As an innocent 13/14 year old circa 1979/80 I didn’t get the joke -

Q. ‘What do you do if you see a heard of elephants coming?’

A. ‘Swim for it!’

I told my father and he refused to explain it to me! 😩

Stayawayfromitsmouth · 28/09/2019 12:23

There is one less cigarette on board, therefore the boat is lighter in weight, by one cigarette. It becomes one 'cigarette lighter'. Which is a play on words to also mean a device to light cigarettes.
It's not that amusing.

MotherForkinShirtBalls · 28/09/2019 12:25

Ok, I don't get the elephant one...Confused

anothersecond · 28/09/2019 12:28

I also don't get the elephant one!!

PhillliPhillli · 28/09/2019 12:30

Oh ffs Blush BlushBlush

The elephant one Grin as if you asked your dad!

OP posts:
PullingMySocksUp · 28/09/2019 12:30

I’m thinking the elephants one might be rude and quite gross. Grin

PhillliPhillli · 28/09/2019 12:30

“Elephants coming” Wink

OP posts:
P1nkHeartLovesCake · 28/09/2019 12:30

The boat becomes 1 cigarette lighter (as in the boat now weighs less]

ScreamingValenta · 28/09/2019 12:31

Elephant 'coming' - euphemism for ejaculating. Elephant is so large you'd drown in its spunk.

MotherForkinShirtBalls · 28/09/2019 12:32
Envy
Ferretyone · 28/09/2019 12:33

@ScreamingValenta

Thank you from all!

Grin
anothersecond · 28/09/2019 20:41

@ScreamingValenta thank you! Although that is really gross. I thought the joke was insinuating that elephants can't swim so run to the water.. I spent a while wondering about this. Glad it's over now tbh

ScreamingValenta · 28/09/2019 22:28

@anothersecond You're welcome, and apologies to those in whom I have induced a boak reflex Envy.

The version of the joke that prevailed in my 80s teenhood was slightly different:

'What do you do if you have a party and an elephant comes?'
'Spend the rest of the night cleaning it up!'

Boom- boom ! Grin

Hefzi · 28/09/2019 22:30

A lighter is also a sort of boat - so a double joke
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lighter_(barge)

southofmanc · 28/09/2019 22:33

It took me years to get this one... real
liightbulb moment about 4 years after I first heard it.

2 nuns in a bath. One says, "Where's the soap?" And the other one says, "Yes it does, doesn't it".

Bluntness100 · 28/09/2019 22:37

It's just a play on words. Lighter can be weight or something you light your cigarette with.

KaliOMalley · 28/09/2019 22:39

Best birthday card I bought was a picture of old ladies watching a male stripper. The caption was 'Maud nearly had a stroke but she couldn't quite reach' Grin

ScreamingValenta · 28/09/2019 22:42

southofmanc Grin

I had a similar lightbulb moment as an adult about a cartoon I saw as I child and never got - an old nun in a dormitory of younger nuns announcing: 'All candles must be out by 10 o'clock.'

isabellerossignol · 28/09/2019 22:45

I don't get either of the nun jokes. Blush

LaMarschallin · 28/09/2019 22:48

an old nun in a dormitory of younger nuns announcing: 'All candles must be out by 10 o'clock.'

Sometimes told as: "Lights out by 10. Candles out by 11".
Maybe that might help?

FuckOffBoris · 28/09/2019 22:48

They are both about masturbation, Isabelle...

(either that or I have a filthy mindBlush)

Babyiwantabump · 28/09/2019 22:48

I don’t get the soap one - I think I get the candle one though !

MillicentMartha · 28/09/2019 22:50

Nuns, no sex allowed, so they ‘improvise’ using handy objects, bars of soap, candles etc.

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