I don’t get this joke

[PhillliPhillli]

I have a feeling you’re all going to explain it to me and it’s going to be obvious, but eh?!

(Printed in our village newsletter)

The soap nun bath joke is at the end of one episode of The Vicar of Dibley and I played it through my mind for years trying to understand it before chancing upon the answer on here a while ago .

I like the hippo zippo one

*Con medicine"

Well, mine are medicinal. I buy the ones with cask strength whisky as prizes. Admittedly, this does make crackers a bit more competetive.

The nun jokes remind me of this one:

Nun is in the bath and there is a knock on the door.
"Who is it?" asks the nun. "A blind man" says the man.
"Ok come in" says the nun
Man enters and says "Nice tits love, where do you want the blinds put up?"

Ha ha, SleepWarrior , great minds. Ive just posted the joke.

TheNestedIf Can I come to yours for Christmas please?

minou123 That's reminded me of the Jonathan Creek episode 'The Problem at Gallows Gate'!

@ScreamingValenta

Please do. Towels are provided but please bring a spare liver.

I have just guffawed at the latest nun joke, by the way.

I was a very naive 13 year old. (50 years ago). When the other girls told risque jokes I'd join in with the laughter then ask my mum to explain, she always did, she had a filthy mind.

At my school (yes - it was an all girl's convent) the candles joke was a one-liner: 'candles out sisters', then making a popping sound with our tongue.

When I was a very young and naive teenager I overheard my older brother telling his friends a joke which they all thought was hysterical. I didn't get the joke but as they thought it was so funny I thought I'd tell this joke to my friend's mother. She was horrified! The joke: what did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Answer: Hold onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blowjob

@posterWhenPushComesToShove. That's so funny that you told your friend's mum!

Am the only person who googled to see if there is a nunsnet? There isn't.

When I was about 12 (early eighties) my Mum told me the following joke:

What's white and slides across the floor?

Come Dancing
(that's what the show used to be called donkey's years ago). I didn't get it for years.

I used to listen to the Big Breakfast radio show on my drive to work in the early nineties. One day they invited kids to phone in and tell their favorite joke live on air (

Kid: How do you make a door scream?
Presenter in unison: We don't know. How DO you make a door scream?
Kid: Pull its knob.

Carol McGiffin screamed and Chris Evans was struck dumb for a few seconds.

I didn't get the cigarette one or the nun in the bath one either initially! Sorry but @Soola and @WhenPushComesToShove you have really made me laugh

a take on the elephant one..
at my school it was a popular joke..'What's grey and comes (cums) in pints'.... 'An elephant'. At the time I was 12 or 13 and did not get it.. much embarrassment when I asked for an explanation , with my mates tittering at my naivety...

Loving all the jokes!

About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went downhill fast.

A man just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy.

My colleague can no longer attend next weeks Innuendo Seminar so I have to fill her slot instead.

A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but toucan play at that game

A man turned up at a fancy dress party just wearing his underpants. When asked what his fancy dress was he replied:

"I've come as a premature ejaculation. I've come in my pants."

First told to me and my cohort as a new and still fairly naïve university student back in the early 1980s.

@Topseyt back in the early 80s there were a lot of fancy dress parties and I do recall a couple of boys doing just that!

Goodness, I remember those nun jokes from the 70s (except the blind man one which I first heard on The Vicar of Dibley). The other one I remember goes like this.

Two nuns were cycling down (insert name of road in our town). One says to the other "I haven't come this way before". "No", says the other. "It must be the cobbles".

Obviously you don't need to name the road and could just make it clear that they were cycling down a cobbled street, but that rather gives the game away.

The jokes on the latest page are rather obvious but I don't get the boat joke or the nun jokes either.
I hate jokes I don't get, I just sit there like "what" and it gets explained and i still don't either get it or it's not funny at all. In fact I don't actually find many jokes funny at all and I wonder how they came about.

What's making headlines this week?

Cord pillows

Heard of the Oomibum Bird? Every time it lands on the ground it calls "Oomibum!"

This thread wouldn't be complete without a Doctor, Doctor joke: Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains. Doctor: Pull yourself together man! boom boom 😆

I don't get the 'hope in her soul' joke🤔