I don’t get this joke

[PhillliPhillli]

I have a feeling you’re all going to explain it to me and it’s going to be obvious, but eh?!

(Printed in our village newsletter)

When you reworded it, I got it! I had a suspicion it might be something along those lines but I didn't really get it until you reworded it.

I'm still not getting the soap one.

This is particularly weird as I can usually spot an innuendo a mile off, but my superpower has deserted me this evening!

FuckOffBoris has it, Babyiwantabump.

It’s a homophone, where’s/wears as in wears it out.

Babyiwantabump

I don’t get the soap one - I think I get the candle one though !

The soap one is based on a homophone:

"Where's the soap?"

"Yes, it does, doesn't it?"

ie Friction during masturbating with it wears it down.

Ah, now I understand!

I think that one passed me by because in my accent where and wear just don't sound all that similar

MillicentMartha

X-post, sorry.

You were more succinct (and much less vulgar ).

Sounds like a recipe for thrush though

@soola I cannot stop the tears of laughter pouring down my face! 🤣

Whats the difference between a nun at prayer and a nun in the bath?

One has hope in her soul...

Possibly it's because I'm pissed, but I am chuckling madly at that one, Joxer.

Ah I thought it was something like that !

It was because there was two of them in the bath I thought it might have been something else 😂

ScreamingValenta

Possibly it's because I'm pissed, but I am chuckling madly at that one,Joxer.

Me too!

my cousin told me that one when I was about 10 and it took me years to work out the punchline!

I'm -drunkenly- strangely hoping now that there's a parallel site to Mumsnet called Nunsnet where the nuns are sharing jokes about secular women.

I'm loving the nun in the bath one.

It's the ...... at the end, so full of insinuation.

@ScreamingValenta! I hope there is too.

Ah Joxer

The kids at my school used to tell the nuns in the bath joke all the time and I never got it. I thought it was supposed to be funny because it didn't make sense.

I must have been in my thirties before I had a sudden realisation.

I got grounded when I was 11 for telling my parents a joke I didn't understand that I had heard at school.

How do you make a hormone?

Don't pay her!

My mum was furious with me and I had no idea why.

Entirely suitable for Nunsnet:

Q: What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

A: One’s very heavy, and the other’s a little lighter

Nomnom ha ha that one is excellent!

NomNomNominativeDeterminism - brilliantly bringing the thread full circle!

I remember the nuns and the soap. First heard it aged about 11. Didn't get it for years. Think I first read it in the local student rag which I thought was ver daring to buy.😃

Oh, good. Cracker season is coming up. Not that many of these are likely to make it into crackers. Ahem.

My current favourite:

"What's the best thing about living in Switzerland?"

"I don't know but the flag is a big plus."

Cracker season is coming up.

Two words - con medicine .