What do you do if no babysitter?

[ReturnofSaturn]

We have a 19 month old son.

Me and DH are desperate for a night out just me and him.

However we have no one to babysit. The only family I have here is my parents who can't do childcare as my dad is my mums carer - she has dementia.
I have a sister but i just can't ask her right now as she works full time as well as doing a lot for my parents. Plus her work is usually evening hours too ( casino)

So my question is, what do other people do in this situation? Just never go out? Pay a stranger to babysit? (I really struggle with the idea of a stranger in our house with our baby while we are out)

I'm not really looking for a solution here, just wondering what other people do?

We used to use sitters.com a lot at that stage.

Swap with friends? They babysit for you one weekend and you babysit for them the next?

We used to get local teenagers to babysit. Is your child in nursery? Perhaps some of the staff there offer babysitting services at weekends and at least you'll know them. Otherwise, as suggested, ask a friend and then you can babysit for them.

We just never go out together without kids. Some people don't know how lucky they are having grandparents/auntys and uncles on tap!

Swop with friends, local teens, pay staff from nursery etc

We used sitters.com as well. I was very nervous the first time but the lady was lovely and once you have used the service you get a list of your previous sitters to request so we normally had the same person. It worked well.

Sorry, should have said sitters.co.uk

You pay for a babysitter which is what most people do. My parents or IL’s have never babysat for me in 17 years. Sitters.co.uk are excellent or advertise locally and interview for sitters, ask around at groups who people use.

Waited until my eldest turned 15 😬

We asked friends for recommendations of sitters they have used and used them. The ones we have used all work in nurseries and do babysitting on the side.

We don't go out.. haven't been out in 14 months.

We don't go out as it's just so expensive to factor in the babysitter on top of a night out but people I know use nursery nurses from our nursery so they have people we know.

We don’t go out and given the large span of ages haven’t been out together for 27 years... we’ve survived.

If dc are in childcare during the day we’d book a day off and have a day out instead.

We’ve not been out in the evening without the children and the eldest is 12. We’re not bothered.

swap with friends, use her nursery key worker. Other family members. Her godmother.

You will be surprised at how many people are happy to ditch their brood for your child!

Swap with friends, local teenagers, ask around, you may have neighbours who would be happy to babysit. My DS is grown up but I am genuinely happy to babysit for parents who need a night out, so long as it isn't too late. I don't want to be paid, just happy to help out.

Paid a local teenager.

I did join a babysitting circle where we swapped tokens for babysitting. It was all parents from the playgroup/toddlers etc. However didn't work for me as I was a single parent and could never "earn" tokens.

Very, very few of my friends had family on hand. I think that's the norm now?

The one saying we don't go out... fucking hell doom and gloom!!

I use my friends 16 year old sister, someone's always up for a bit of cash

Don't go anywhere. Dh and I have been out together at night without children once since dc1 was born. He's nearly 5. We even had to take him to hospital with us when I went into labour with dc2 because we couldn't wake anyone up.

He goes out with work mates and I have the kids. I go out with friends and he has the kids.

@pistolknight that sounds a bit aggressive.

Just because you're fine giving your life to your kids and nothing but your kids doesn't mean it's good or healthy to lauder it around like it's some medal of accomplishment. OP really just wants a break and time to switch off.

Never go out.

Or use a paid for service : in theory, I would ask a nursery worker to do it (obv this only works if your child is in a nursery to ask) but to be honest we just don’t go out together without the kids.

I would be open to local teenagers once the kids are old enough to both explain themselves (eg I need a wee etc) and to understand do what xxx says or else no treats (or whatever) tomorrow - but don’t know any.

@Dinosauratemydaffodils what did he do whilst you gave birth? 😂

We are the same, been out once since DD was born she is now 3! We have had a day date though when she was at nursery last week 😁

Local teenagers (15ys) ideally children of friends as then you get the added bonus of knowing they (he parents) are keen it goes well too so do a lot of pre babysitting briefing.

I don' t think we went out together until DS1 was about 5 at least. We've had one overnighter in 13 years :) But that's besides the point.

Friends. (what we've always done)
Nursery worker that your child already knows and offers babysitting
Babysitting service.

Nursery staff

If your child attends any daycare facility, a few workers from there, will offer evening babysitting as a way to top up their wages.

They also have the benefit of already knowing the child(ren)