Did you go to work full time once kids in school?

[RubADu]

Hi. Both my children are at primary school now and settled - no issues. I work part time at the moment (30 hours) and have been offered the option to go full time (39 hours)

It would be 5 days - I currently do 4 with an hour commute each way. I could do the extra day from home apparently.

My current day off isn't exactly full to the brim. But it brings a lovely balance. And we walk to and from school on that day (only).

But I could really do with the extra money (about £600 a month to take home extra) It would probably mean an annual holiday is affordable (it usually isn't). But obviously that's still a luxury.

So keen to hear what people did. Anyone go full time and regret it? Does school life become busier and a free day would help with that?

Kids are 9 and 6. Unfortunately no option to do a short fifth day and finish at 3pm to do school pick up. It's full days only.

I'm currently studying and have a son in reception. After I qualify in 2 years time, I am not planning on working full time, I'm hoping a max of 3 days a week. I had this discussion with DH the other day. I do a lot of family admin, food shop, cleaning (though there will be a cleaner once I go back to work!), etc. My degree is fulltime at the moment, and it's full on and it's doable only because I know it will be over in 2 years. I have noticed my MH can suffer from having to do too many things.

So, I am planning to work part time and have time to do other things that need doing too, including some headspace.

How much of a big deal pension reduction is depends very much on the sort of pension return FT work might provide.

If a woman on NMW goes up to/stays full time and earns 16k instead of 10k for the few years she might otherwise have been on the lower wage, how much difference do you really think that's going to make to her retirement income? And is it really sensible or even possible for her to weigh that as more significant than the immediate costs of more work to the family unit?

I'm not saying the pensions issue doesn't matter, but its important we understand that a great many low paid workers, whose wage and employer contributions are the legal minimum or close to it, are in for an impoverished old age whatever they do. And sure, some people will be able to improve their salaries by staying FT and won't be on minimum wage forever. Lots will not. That's how our society is structured.

On a different point, I think its fair to say that a number of bricks would've been shat had this thread featured primarily full time workers who are happy with it and someone asserted they were posting because they were bored at work and it was dismaying to see.

"No-one on their death bed wishes they'd worked more"....

You see I'm not sure that's true. I have seen so many people retire who wished they'd pushed, chased the money more, compromised on home life a bit more....

Maybe it's the field in which I work but lots of women get to my level and choose not to make the leap up to the next one as it would have had a big impact on the family. Or often their partner won't compromise on their own flexibility and SOMEONE has to be home by 6pm so it ends up being the woman. I'd say it's about 50/50 glad they did it / regretted the loss of a career over a job.

Yes, it’s a very trite saying.

"No-one on their death bed wishes they'd worked more"....

No but a lot of women wish on divorce that they had done far less unpaid work and more paid work.

Especially when they youngest child reaches 18 and they have to sell their home and give half to their ex while they continuing to house his children.

Or or he refuses to support his children through university.

Or when they see the relative sizes of their pensions.

"No-one on their death bed wishes they'd worked more"....

You see I'm not sure that's true. I have seen so many people retire who wished they'd pushed, chased the money more, compromised on home life a bit more....

Retiring isn’t on their death bed, is it?

I stayed part-time while dc in primary and then changed jobs and went full time for secondary. Worked well for us.
99% of the time I was there for drop off and pick up in primary and I was there for the afternoon and homework etc.

I've found I've dropped my hours as my children have got older. Went back 4 days a week after mat leave, now 3.5 compressed into 3 days.

However I'm in a field where I can pick up the occasional freelance job which ups my earning power but still allows me to be really flexible. I'm employed Tue/Wed/Thu as there are an awful lot of Mondays off and a few Fridays too! Our holiday club tends to be open only Mon-Thu.

I do a lot of volunteering in my "free" time, mainly school based.

I manage to pay £500 into my pension monthly (that's including a small employers contribution)

I don't think I'll ever want to go back to work full-time and would rather cut back expenditure than work full time. Most jobs in my field are part time anyway. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I'd say I manage to top up my annual income by about £4-5000 per annum with my freelancing.

Could you take on occasional projects to increase earnings without a long term commitment to full time hours?

I reduced my hours 1 year after dc got to school as it just became harder to juggle everything! There is a good before and after school club, but I was missing school events and dc was so much more tired than after a day at nursery and wanted to come home after school like his friends! I just do 3 days now instead of 5.

To add to that, I'm on a lowish income and dropped about 400 after tax a month from dropping 2 days. If you take off the childcare and take away when we were too tired too cook- that reduced it a bit further. It's been worth it for our family- we're both less stressed, weekends are just family time, I'm more productive at work and don't have to cover sick days on my work days ( should does them and I "cover" my days off) and just generally happier!

Nice if you can afford it. All my family have gone back to full time work as soon as each baby was a year old.
It’s been very hard with children who never sleep through a night, a long commute, huge childcare costs. No dropping off or collecting from school, no nativities or sports days. No time in the evenings to help with homework or take to Brownies.
For many mums there is no choice, they absolutely have to work full time.

What is frustrating about this thread is that most women seem to think childcare and housework are their responsibility, even if they work FT. If you want to work FT, then do. But first, talk to your OH about splitting household and childcare responsibilities equally. This rarely seems to happen because most men appear to be in Very Important Jobs with Very Long Hours they couldn't possibly reduce. I wonder why it is always women's jobs that are less important, and why men's jobs are so all-consuming that they couldn't possibly do all the food shopping, or all school runs?

I am freelance and work an average of approx 2.5 days a week, but spread over 5 mornings - kids are 4 and 6. I am lucky that 2 days a week pays me well (I am still the main breadwinner). Spent many years working full time and gruelling shift patterns to get into this position but I appreciate it now the kids are school age as although I dont often drop off, I do make most school pick ups and afterschool activities, homeworks etc, which is priceless to me. DH works full time 2 hr commute away so this set up works for us currently and I can consider taking on more / less work as time allows, although I have no plans to take on more work for the foreseeable

My youngest has just started reception and no way am I increasing my hours at work. I do three days, 7.45-5. My H works from home one of my working days so we only have two days where one of us isn’t around for the kids. Grandparents do the before and after school part for those days but the house is left a tip mostly!

I adore having those two days to see both kids off to school, doing a cooked breakfast for the eldest (he learns better apparently!) Then I can get them to after school activities, meet other parents at softplay after school. Spend the days sorting the house so it’s nice and tidy and organised, cooking a nice meal, food shopping. I also go to friends of the school meetings to fundraise, meet friends for coffee, help elderly relatives.

Bottom line is we don’t need the extra money so why put ourselves through it when life is nicer working part time.

Lots of people here saying they catch up on the housework on their day(s) off - personally I would rather with and pay someone else to scrub the loo!

With pre-school kids you get a lot of time with your kids for what you give up in salary and career progression etc (not saying it’s fair on progression btw). With kids at school the balance changes, you get maybe an hour more in the morning and two hours in the afternoon when they are knackered and just want to veg in front of the telly. I think it’s hard to weigh that against the increased financial security, extra curricular stuff you can afford for the kids, family holiday etc. There are the holidays though. Overall I hope to move from three days to four. Good luck op!

Also to the pp who worried about being the only FT mum, you’re definitely not and there’s a lot to be said for quality over quantity!

@PrincessLouis ha that's so true, our cleaner costs not even half a day of work for me for the month, would much rather work a tad extra and pay for that!

There are parents who stick to part time precisely because full time isn't affordable and/or available too mattmagnolia. Particularly wrt holiday care. The provision in some areas is so patchy. I didn't realise until I read MN that sometimes it isn't even a question of throwing money at it, sometimes there's nothing there to throw money at. And if you're not a high earner and have two or three DC, hardly unusual, wraparound plus holiday care and the usual working costs can easily enough eat up what you're bringing home.

Ultimately, there are a lot of parents (and most of them seem to be women) who aren't able to work their preferred pattern because of finances and logistics. There are parents who have to work full time because they need the money, there are parents who can't work full time because they can't afford it.

I think @RubADu if you have a 'career' as opposed to a 'job' it may be a different question.

From my own POV it was always a case of balancing the need for me to be occupied a certain part of the week in a role I enjoyed (but was never going to be a high achiever), a need to bring in some money above DH income, and a need to balance child care and other household tasks.

I know from DH and my individual strengths and weaknesses that if I had returned to work full time I would have ended up stressed and overworked and that the majority of my increased pay would have been spent on outsourced child care, a cleaner, gardener and take out food.

I was also given the opportunity to do the existing job I enjoyed (higher level admin role) on a part-time, term-time basis. It was a no-brainier for me really.

I think if you are climbing the ladder in a specific profession and working part time is going to endanger your progression it's a different matter, and your priorities are going to be different to mine.