Did you go to work full time once kids in school?

[RubADu]

Hi. Both my children are at primary school now and settled - no issues. I work part time at the moment (30 hours) and have been offered the option to go full time (39 hours)

It would be 5 days - I currently do 4 with an hour commute each way. I could do the extra day from home apparently.

My current day off isn't exactly full to the brim. But it brings a lovely balance. And we walk to and from school on that day (only).

But I could really do with the extra money (about £600 a month to take home extra) It would probably mean an annual holiday is affordable (it usually isn't). But obviously that's still a luxury.

So keen to hear what people did. Anyone go full time and regret it? Does school life become busier and a free day would help with that?

Kids are 9 and 6. Unfortunately no option to do a short fifth day and finish at 3pm to do school pick up. It's full days only.

Consider ageing parents too, if you have them. Working FT means having very little time to offer them practical support.

Men seem to be able to not worry about all these things (cos they’re cold-hearted bastards . DH thinks he’s son of the century if he calls his parents once a month ) but I think most women worry and fret about their family’s wellbeing.

It’s really hard if you have a parent very ill in hospital and you can only visit after work. If that goes on for weeks on end, you can end up hardly seeing your kids or even eating proper meals.

If you don't absolutely have to earn the extra money in order to stay afloat financially, then my advice would be not to do it. Time is more important than money sometimes.

I’ve been full time, 5 days a week after both maternity leaves with mine and it’s been totally fine. They are 7 and 4 now. DH is full time also. I am able to do some drop offs and pick ups by working flexibly, as is DH, plus we use after school club and grandparents help too. We just have to be super organised.

I value my career, 2 full time incomes means we can live more comfortably and we protect our weekend family time at all costs. And it’s not like we don’t get time together in the week, but weekends are really special.

I think whatever works for you and your family is right, and only you can decide that.

Oh and if your extra day is from home, couldn’t you still do the school run? Might be best of both worlds.

I worked full time until DD went to school, then dropped to half time as the logistics just didn't work otherwise. I could have upped my hours when DD started secondary but by then DH had also downshifted and we wanted the work-life balance more than we needed the extra money. Obviously that's not a choice everyone can make.

I work full time (in a school) so can't do any picks ups or drop offs and even though DS is 9 now, it's one of my biggest regrets. I do everything I can to leave work one day a week early to pick him up (doesn't always happen) and we love it.

I'd stay 4 days. I know the extra money is so so so tempting, but til they're at secondary, I'd stay at 4 days. That's my honest opinion if it was me- and I'm skint! I'd drop down to 4 days in a heartbeat.

I definitely wouldn't, if you can afford not to. Having you there makes more of a difference than what those extra 9 hr a week could buy imo, and once they're in secondary school or beyond you could up your hours if needed.

“DH is full time also. I am able to do some drop offs and pick ups by working flexibly, as is DH, plus we use after school club and grandparents help too.” It’s easy to be super organised if you have these things available. Not everyone does. Some people have none of that stuff. And some can’t afford things like a cleaner etc so making weekends extra special for the kids becomes difficult as household chores still need doing mainly at the weekend.

I think if you are able to make FT work by the things you mention, can afford a cleaner and takeaways to make life easier , don’t have ageing parents to consider and the extra day’s pay will be decent, then I would go for it.

But if you can afford luxuries such as takeaways and cleaners (as suggested by a previous poster) working ft, surely it would be better to work 4 days (or less) and have more time for the kids?

Myself and fiancé only both work ft because otherwise we'd not be able to afford the rent or pay the bills. To me a luxury is a very ocassional haircut!!!

I wouldn't do the extra day if it would just be to pay for 'extras'. I'd rather have the morning to get as many things e.g. housework, shopping, gardening out of the way as possible so my weekends were free to spend with the DC and the afternoon to spend with my DC. As long as I didn't need more money I'd rather have the time now and make extra money later when my DC were older.

OP, there was a sponsored thread on MN a few weeks back about the Pension Penalty. This specifically affects women who decide not to work FT after having children and fail to understand the disastrous long term impact this has on their finances and pensions. There is a cohort of women in the 60s who are facing old age in poverty for this very reason.

I work full time and have 2 young DC who are at school. It didn't make sense for me to work 4 days as I'd still have to do 5 days worth of work (no-one would pick up my work on my day off) and I'd face a big drop in salary for the privilege. I have now been promoted and have the flexibility to work from home whenever I need to and the seniority to arrange my own work schedule so I can drop off / pick up the DC a few days a week.

I work 4 days a week with 1 day from home and my youngest is coming to the end of primary, eldest is 6th form. I’ve no intention of working full time. That one day a week at home is an absolute god send for getting on top of admin, washing, shopping, sorting and being around for play dates / dropping off and picking up. I like that I’ve that day plus my work at home day so the children only feel that I’m out 3 days a week

“Myself and fiancé only both work ft because otherwise we'd not be able to afford the rent or pay the bills. To me a luxury is a very ocassional haircut!!!”

Do you have children? If household income is only just covering essentials (I don’t really see a haircut as a luxury, unless you’re going to some fancy salon and having highlights or whatever) and you don’t have children but would like them, how do you envisage paying for the expense of children? Genuine question. I get so angry that in our fucked up society now even with both people working FT, it’s often only enough to cover the basic essentials of life.

@CurlyhairedAssassin Yes I have two children from an abusive ex-husband who has them 50% of the time (court enforced). FIance has no children but has alays wanted them.

No maintenance due from ex. He remains in the marital home with an unemployed gf and he earns £105k + pa. He claims CB for one son. I got a small settlement upon divorce but not enough to buy a property so we're renting still.

I long for the day I can buy myself a wardrobe-I'm still using hanging rails almost 6 years post divorce lol!! 😂

I went back part time after my maternity leave & went part time term time only when ds started school. I couldnt work full time as my then husband was disabled with MS & I needed time to do everything at home. Not long after my marriage ended I had to give up work as my health was getting worse, ds is 16 soon & I am starting to get worried about how I will manage once child benefit & child tax credits end.

No, I work 4 days and earn enough money from that. I do sometimes think about the amount of money we miss out on but I also don't want to miss out on taking daughter to school and having a conversation with her teacher if needed. I have a stressful job so I spend my day off catching up on housework and doing the food shop so we can all be together and focus on the family at the weekend.

I wouldn't if you don't financially need to. Time is more important than money.

*Firstly, that from the responses so far on this thread there's a disadvantage to children with two full-time working parents. I'd assumed it was the norm.

Secondly, that so many mums are willing to put their career on hold for such a long time: although I'd love more time at home I'm also keen to focus on the 5/10 year plan and I'm worried I won't achieve those goals without getting stuck in now.*

I wouldn't say children are at a disadvantage with two working parents. It isn't the norm round where I am though. From what I see at the school gate, 80% of the mums don't work at all and the dads work full time. I live in a deprived area. I am the mum "who works" and nobody sees, which is why I felt I wanted my day off.

Secondly, I am not putting my career on hold. I am also a teacher. I earn a wage that is great for my family. In fact, I am the main wage earner as DH is training again. I do the same jobs as everybody else in my department in 4days a week. I'm valued and have been asked to consider promotion a few times, even on 4days a week. I'm not looking for promotion. Promotion in schools equals more stress and paperwork and that doesn't sound fun to me.

By all means focus on your 10year plan. I've been teaching 10years and have reached my current plan. My daughter is still pretty small. I've learnt that my career is to pay my bills and enable me to spend quality time with the people I love. I don't want to lose my time. I'd rather lose my money. Your tone is pretty judgemental to be honest.

My kids are the same age as yours. I went full time for a bit when they were younger but we all ended up exhausted and stressed out. I did 28 hours recently but now only work freelance from home as my 9 year old is only able to be at school three mornings a week through illness/disability.

Goodness. I didn't expect these responses. This thread must be done he minority of MN! Most are working full time earning £100k+ don't you know.

I've worked part time since having ds's. I used to work 3 days. I've now just taken a job where I negotiated 4 days.

I accepted that this meant no flash holidays in Dubai like all of DS1's GCSE mates. My pension is pitiful. I'm still glad I did it. The stress and effect on my health (I have a medical condition) has personally been worth it.... I think!

I work 3 days 8-6. Have 3 children. I don't think i could ever go back full time. By wednesday (my last working day) i feel like the house is trashed, the washing pile is huge and the kids are a little emotional. Having 2 days to catch up on all the little jobs means the weekends are less stressful trying to get organised for the followimg week ahead.

My youngest has just gone full time at school and I have no plans to go from 4 to 5 days . That day off keeps me sane and allows me to get everything I need done . I also like having a day where I can take them to school and pick them up.

Your promotion aims/chances is a good point. What are they and how would your working hours affect them?
I stuck with my 19.5 hours a week when DS started school. He likes the extra time we have together. I sort household stuff and have time to exercise.
But I'm not ambitious and we can afford for me to work those hours. DH's salary will always be at least double mine.

I'm really quite shocked by all these responses. Centuries of fights for women's rights and we seem to be no further at all. No one here is talking about work in anything other than the dreaded, endured means to pay for life essentials. What happened to the idea of having something vaguely fulfilling to do with our lives, something that is not just about wiping bottoms, feeding children and cleaning up the household mess? Work, at its best, can be a place where you can (occasionally at least) be really good at something, where you do something meaningful that isn't just about your selfish offspring, and where you are not just someone's mum. I say this as someone who finds the daily grind of the FT work & parenting combo far from easy, and whose work is often not as rosy as the picture I have just painted of it - but I wouldn't give up and stop trying to both do well at work and be a good mother for anything.