Did you go to work full time once kids in school?

[RubADu]

Hi. Both my children are at primary school now and settled - no issues. I work part time at the moment (30 hours) and have been offered the option to go full time (39 hours)

It would be 5 days - I currently do 4 with an hour commute each way. I could do the extra day from home apparently.

My current day off isn't exactly full to the brim. But it brings a lovely balance. And we walk to and from school on that day (only).

But I could really do with the extra money (about £600 a month to take home extra) It would probably mean an annual holiday is affordable (it usually isn't). But obviously that's still a luxury.

So keen to hear what people did. Anyone go full time and regret it? Does school life become busier and a free day would help with that?

Kids are 9 and 6. Unfortunately no option to do a short fifth day and finish at 3pm to do school pick up. It's full days only.

In your circumstances I’d definitely be doing it. The children are at school anyway and the extra money will allow them access to all sorts of extras that will benefit them. Unlike others, I didn’t find mine needed me more as they got to high school than they did at Primary. They are are school all day so being home makes no difference.

We’ve always worked full time and shared the house and parenting load between us. Most of the housestuff is done before work so we have the majority of evenings and all weekends to relax and plan stuff.

I still work 30h but changed from a full day off to work 3 full days and 2 half days so i can pick ds up twice a week

“Most of the housestuff is done before work” really? Hoovering, cleaning bathroom, food shopping, gardening? My alarm goes off at 6.15, if I had to do household chores beyond sorting and clearing breakfast and packed lunches and putting a load of washing on/hanging up I think it would have to be set for 5.15. Do people really do all this stuff before an 8-9 hour day at work plus commutes?

If you can work from home on the 5th day then I think I probably would. Sounds like the extra money would really enhance your life.

It's a hard decision and you won't know the impact until you do it- can you do a trial? Do you currently manage well at the minute?

I've just reduced my hours as I found working full time difficult and I had no brain space (I do have a challenging job). dh travels 10 days a month but when he's here he does school drop offs and I do pick ups. Dc does 1-2 Afterschool club and hates it!

however in your position as a lone parent and only earner I probably would. £600 is a lot of money and tbh your kids will probably not notice much difference in the extra day at wrap around care.

I'm certainly not planning to for a long while if ever! Currently work 4 days. 5 days would take me above the point where I would lose 30 free hours so definitely not worth it financially until last one is at school. I am already the main earner by a good distance so don't feel the need to contribute any more.
It certainly hasn't held me back career wise - but this is totally dependent on your employer i appreciate.
I want to do some school runs and quite frankly given I do most of our life admin need some time to just get stuff sorted. I also have some medical issues which mean I get tired more now so am putting myself first.
I have thought about potentially doing 5 at some point - we earn a good amount between us but I still feel we need to be careful about what we spend. An extra 4 days a month would give us a nice extra buffer, but it's really not worth it at the moment.
It's a tough decision!

@Mummyshark2018 A key dilemma is that there's a window open now to move to 5 days. If I take it, very difficult to ever move back to 4. But if I don't, it may not be open again for years.
(It's a complex policy but it's a small team and changes only tolerated if someone leaves, which doesn't happen often, so we can advertise accordingly for the new person. So here if I take 5 days, we'll advertise for a 4 day person).

Answerthequestion I'm not suggesting at all what people should do to support their kid's. . You will do what's right for your family and that is absolutely fine too. I've been warned by a very good family friend who's kids are later stage in their student lives and that cost of University/vocational/ senior college education in terms of domestic support bills etc let alone fees is astronomical for two children. And the kids work part time on top. What if your DC's are bright enough to enroll in 4 year or 5 year med school/ vet school etc? You think childcare is costly at nursery stage well then post 18 education is something else!!!

There's no right or wrong here. But it's incredibly important to think slightly longer term and what financial security you will have in place for yourself in your old age and your children's. I don't come from a family with wealth, I will have no inheritance nor any financial support , I didn't get any family handouts or loans for my property.. and it has been hard.

Your DC's will be competing for jobs, property, education etc. If what you are doing is enough then great. But I want more and I want to secure the very best opportunities for my children even if they wanted a Harvard education in the USA.

I would stick at the 4 days. I love having that day to either see friends/family, have appointments or simply do nothing and rest. I am a lone parent too and that day off in the week really saves my sanity!

Sorry if you thought my tone was judgemental. I'll try again: I didn't intend to offend.

This thread has made me feel anxious. I'm in the first couple of weeks of my return to work and my youngest ds is 20 months. I'd assumed it was common for families to have two full time working families and I'm now concerned that I've missed something I should have thought through. On reading the replies to this thread I feel like an inferior mum for not making time to stay at home and work part time. I've taken a head of department role which is necessarily full-time and I hadn't realised the vast majority of mums (if this thread is anything to go by) don't return to full-time work while their kids are still at home. That's another 16 years away for my family!

Apologies if I caused offence. I'm just adjusting to the idea that compared to those who have responded here I'm very much the odd one out.

@Jinglesplodge Don't worry, I can think of lots of mothers at my work who choose work full time even though we are very flexible about PT work and even have senior managers who work PT. You have to make the right decision for you because you won't always have small children at home. DH and I have always worked PT (currently 90% each) but that won't necessarily stay the same, he's happy in his PT role and currently doesn't want to take on more responsibility but I might go back FT at some point depending on the family:money equation, we're keeping things open because as the kids get closer to college and uni things will change. When I took on this job we had a discussion about the increased responsibility and impact on family life but we both agree our own needs for career fufilment are just as important as family life and being bored and unhappy in a job means a change is needed. We do facilitate each other's career and have compatible priorities so it works.

@Jinglesplodge I feel exactly the same as you! This thread makes me feel like I should feel guilty for wanting to go back to work full time- financially I could stay at home full time if I really wanted to (I know we are lucky in that respect)- but I want to work and enjoy it. Didn't realise two working full time parents was so unusual, and feel like maybe I'm wanting to do the wrong thing now!

@Jinglesplodge please don't worry. Well done one going back to work. I'm also a bit dismayed by the overall stance here, but as someone far upthread said: take this with a pinch of salt, as it is a very particular slice of people & not necessarily representative of a majority (all those bored PT or SAH mums just hang out on MN more than others). It's also clear from here that we all have to find the set-up that works best for our families and balance short- and long-term factors. Personally I think the pensions argument for working more is hard to dispute, as is having some financial independence from DH.

I went back to work full time on the day my little boy turned two!

I think it's a tad problematic to be dismayed at a thread because the overall stance is one of different stance on work patterns to you. We do all need to find the set up that works best for us and ours, that's definitely true, so there's no reason for negativity about posters describing their version of that.

By the same token, there's nothing wrong with being the odd one out on a thread. Or even in life, which 2 x FT parents is not. If that's what works best for you and your family, go for it. You're not other people.

“all those bored PT or SAH mums just hang out on MN more than others).”

Well I am FT but I hang out on here too much in the evening and weekends because I think it’s an education in life, and also because I’m avoiding boring household chores! During the week during the day it is probably a different readership....

@Jinglesplodge out of all my friends I am literally the only one who returned part time after maternity & a year after that I became a sahm & have been now for almost 9 years. Now I'm looking to return to work & have an interview for a full time job alongside DHs 40 hour shift work.

DH and I have worked full time since both children were 9 months old and it's worked well for us. Kids go to after school club 3 times a week until 5.

However it works as DH is self employed and so very flexible plus I work 100% from home in my office. And I work damn hard and only once a week do I pick the kids up from school rather than them going to club (MIL does pick up once a week as well). I also am able to work flexi time.

I'm not sure I could work ft in an office with set hrs. Working flexi time from home means I can fit in appointments in my lunch hr or finish early and take kids to opticians etc. Or collect them if they are ill. DH and I often get chores done eg waiting for kettle to boil for my mid morning cuppa I can unload dishwasher etc.

So our set up works. You have to think if yours will too and what will you do in school hols for example?

Unless you really need the money I wouldn't. It's great to have a day where you can either

Do shopping, washing, cleaning so you have weekend free to spend with your family

Or have a bit of 'me time' , take up an exercise class, go for a walk , read a book (or whatever you like to do)

Or a mixture of both.

all those bored PT or SAH mums just hang out on MN more than others

I appreciate you are trying to make someone feel better about their choices but this is a very patronising thing to say. People work part time and stay at home for their own reasons. I work part time but am not bored and am never on MN during the day. My DS has aspergers and would never have coped with childcare after school. Don't put other peoples choices down to feel better about yourself. I don't care if you work full time, part time or not at all - it's not for me to judge your life choices so don't judge mine.

**all those bored PT or SAH mums just hang out on MN more than others

I am PT and not bored at all. I am quite happy spending time with my dcs, taking and picking them up from school, doing chores, going for country walks, reading, lunches with friends etc.

“Unless you really need the money” - the problem is we can’t know in the short term what will happen.

We do know that PT work reduces pension, which is a big deal given how many older women are in poverty and that state provision is unlikely to increase.

Much depends on your attitudes to different kinds of risk, financial independence and your personal earning capacity.

For fathers, FT work is the norm. Men get to be fathers and retain or improve their position at work. If more men shared the domestic work and parenting it’d be better for everyone.

God no, I'll be part time only when they're both in primary. You can't get these years back and no-one on their death bed wishes they worked more. I love being around for all the school stuff with no stress.

I work 9-3.30 in a school so they have to do breakfast and after school clubs but I have the holidays off. The money's awful though but I save a hell of alot on childcare.

Oh yes and normal round here to have a parent at home, working class area.