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What's your life like?

104 replies

QueenOfIce · 08/09/2019 18:33

I'm nosy interested. I see people from all walks of life all over the world and as I see them doing whatever they're doing I wonder what their life is like. Are they happy, do they enjoy their job etc..

What's your life like?

OP posts:
IdblowJonSnow · 08/09/2019 20:25

My life is mostly good, nice dh, 2 lovely kids and some good friends.
But I'm often incapable of enjoying it, I'm a worrier and over worry about things, often have an impending sense of doom. Very silly as I know there will be awful times ahead with parents getting older etc. so don't know why I can't enjoy the now!
I'm also in between jobs and have absolutely no idea what I'll do next.
To those of you struggling with kids, apparently the happiest group of older adults are those who have adult kids themselves who've left home! So hang on! Grin

DontPushMePushAPushPop · 08/09/2019 20:27

Honestly I am the happiest I've ever been relationship/our wee family wise but I'm scared it will all change (that something will go wrong) I'm trying my best to get on with it but it's hard.

I've no real family, I have my DP's family but sometimes I feel our relationship isn't as close anymore... I'm pregnant and we live a good bit away from them so only visit once a week, we used to be in contact frequently but this had dwindled (I do try and contact first but there's not that much conversation from them, which could be because they're busy or because they dont want to chat. I've been getting a standoffish vibe from them lately ). I've lost contact with what friends I had due to moving and other things so I really only have the people I work with and DP to chat to and sometimes its so lonely. I wish I had a friend to enjoy things with.

I've told no one these thoughts and doubt I ever will.

joyfullittlehippo · 08/09/2019 20:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dowser · 08/09/2019 20:33

Good
Lovely Dh
Children i think the world of and grandchildren too
Plenty of holidays
No money worries
Good friends and relatives
Health could be better..that’s my bugbear.

Crystal87 · 08/09/2019 20:34

I have a mixture of good days and bad. Life is quite stressful at the moment.

BloodyhellMartha · 08/09/2019 20:42

Pretty Good. Love DH immensely - after all these years he's still my best friend. DC all doing reasonably ok - they are mostly settled, happy and healthy. Work is busy and pressured (teacher) but I still love it mostly. We're utterly skint - but then, we always have been, and neither of us is particularly materialistic. I'm fat and menopausal, but could be worse.

feelinghthelove · 08/09/2019 20:43

Shit!
Mainly because my ex is an absolute arsehole who constantly makes my life a living hell! Stalks me, texts me, emails me, no one will help me, police tell me to grow up, he laughs. Honestly at my wits end.
Aside from that I’m due back at work soon after maternity leave which I’m dreading!
4 children who drain me financially and a lovely partner.

Lisette1940 · 08/09/2019 20:44

I've a truly wonderful husband and great young son - we emigrated to the UK a few years ago following dh's job. My family of origin are a complete car crash so I have no contact with my parents or sibling. That really upsets me because I'm actually very family oriented. And I really do feel the gap where they once were. However they are abusive and it spirals out onto me so I have to stay away.I miss my home city too.

I'm so lucky to have broken the cycle. But I'm struggling a bit to focus on the future. Lots of work changes, need to lose weight and get fit and have goals for the next few years. I'm drifting a bit but I've come a very long way.

lexie2019 · 08/09/2019 20:47

Shit

KTCluck · 08/09/2019 20:49

I feel very lucky. We are happy and content.

I have a good DH, a lovely DD (2), close family and a big circle of friends, all of which come without any drama.

We are both good earners, with the potential for promotion for us both, and potential for DH to be a very high earner. I love my job. It’s challenging and interesting, but come home time that’s it, no stress to take home with me. We don’t need to worry about paying the bills, have some savings, can afford a reasonable holiday every year, and can treat ourselves to meals out, new clothes etc within reason. Childcare fees make things a bit tight currently but once that reduces we’ll be in a really comfortable position.

Our home is modest in size, but big enough for the three of us and room to extend. We are right on the beach and have stunning sea views. I still have to pinch myself when I watch spectacular sunrises and sunsets. It never gets old. I love our home, and we renovated fully when we moved in, although there are still little bits that aren’t quite right and it’s never felt ‘finished’. We did a full Marie kondo declutter and that’s been literally life changing. I’ve also lowered my housework standards slightly and we’ve come up with and stuck to a routine, so now the house is always clean, tidy and organised, but without me feeling like I’ve spent all my time on chores.

Socially I’d probably like to see my friends a bit more than I do, and more equally to DH who sees his far more. That’s partly my own fault though. He has several hobbies and I’m pretty boring. That’s something I’d definitely like to change.

Health wise I’m pretty lucky at the moment, however I eat far too much sugar and fitness levels are shocking. After a good weight loss after having DD I’ve crept back up to the overweight BMI category and I need to sort that. That’s the area of my life that needs the most work.

I consider myself quite a lucky person. I fell into my chosen career, and while I’ve always worked hard I sometimes feel I don’t deserve where I am. However, we had a really bad few years when DH nearly destroyed everything with compulsive gambling. He goes to GA and hasn’t bet for a number of years, has paid off all debt, but I’m always aware that things could go tits up again if we get complacent. There are some health problems with our parents, and both of my siblings are having a tough time of it at the moment and I worry about them.

Like PPs, i swear by mindfulness. Daily stressors, big issues, I can deal with it all so calmly and feel so... in control. I used to be so anxious but now I just go with the flow. Dealing with GA / GamAnon helped with that too. We both live by the serenity prayer!

Hope things look up soon for those of you who are feeling shit Flowers. When DH was gambling I honestly couldn’t see how we’d ever get out of the hole, but we are different people now living a different life

Phillipa12 · 08/09/2019 20:49

Considering the hand ive been dealt over the last 5 years, im in a mostly good place. I have my months were my mental health is fragile but im aware of this. I have 3 ds's, age 10, 5 and 4, a lovely home, a job i love, im happily single with fabulous friends but its taken 5 years to rebuild mine and my sons lives after my 3 year old dd died and my then husband had an affair. I could be very happy, if i had all my children, ive accepted that will never happen, so settle for 'lifes being kind at the moment'.

ISawyouinTescoyesterday · 08/09/2019 20:52

Pretty shit at the moment. I'll be glad when this year is over.

33goingon64 · 08/09/2019 20:54

Pretty good. Healthy happy DC, nice house, lovely village, great friends, good relationships with family, no financial worries, self employed so can regulate workload. On the downside I have doubts about our marriage long term... DH is lovely but we have little in common. Would like more time to myself for hobbies but I know that will come when DC are older.

TheSheepofWallSt · 08/09/2019 20:55

Extraordinary. Honestly.

Grew up in a dysfunctional, impoverished absuive home.
Managed to get out, work enough to save money to go travelling, went to uni and got a first, established a successful career in television.
Had ten years of a glam life in London, lots of foreign hols, great mates, partying constantly.
Fell pregnant early into a new relationship, kept the baby and am now single parent to a toddler.
Living back in home town, quickly established a new career in the arts, and love my job.
My son is now coming out of the tricky toddler stage, and we have an absolute blast 75% of the time. 20% is meh. 5% is hell on wheels.
I’m drowning in debt (ex doesn’t contribute and nursery fees are crippling me) but I know it’s a temporary investment in a better future.
Been in therapy 3 years and just made The Breakthrough- feel more content than I have in years.
Had two serious cancer scares this year and dodged both. I’ve fatted out hugely but losing weight quickly, thank goodness (felt unwell, not a vanity thing)

On paper my life is hectic, exhausting, and hard work. In reality, I feel like I’m just around the corner from really great things- I’m getting the pieces lined up, and hopefully it’ll all start to make sense as a big picture soon!

(You’ve got me on a good day... bad days are very different!!!)

Drogonssmile · 08/09/2019 20:56

Changeable! Good but loads changing. Happily married to DH and live comfortably in a nice house and area. Family close by and all in relatively good health. Two sons age 6 and 3. Hard work but healthy which I'm grateful for.
I'm awaiting autism assessment, starting a degree in a month and have an interview for a new job in two weeks. DH starting his new job in 3 weeks. All family birthdays are in the next two months then Christmas so busy time coming up!

heidbuttsupper · 08/09/2019 21:08

I'd say middle of the road....
Widowed last year at 34
Almost gave up on life
Moved city in June (3 hours away from home town).
Slowly making a life here for myself

Lowlandlucky · 08/09/2019 21:13

Up until i divorced the ex fuckwit i was married to life was hell on earth, wont go into the details but he was abusive in every way, he spent every penny he could lay his hands on. I never let my handbag out of my sight, it contained the passports, birth cetificates, bank books for my children and myself, it also contained £500 cash and a credit card that he knew nothing about. I kept an overnight bag at work to escape with. I always always had a plan. Now i dont even carry a purse unless i am out without my DH, my life has turned 180 degrees, i am so happy and content. I dont work because i dont have too. I spend my life pottering about doing whatever takes my fancy, i dont buy loads because i dont have to just knowing i could affford to buy whatever i wanted is enough. I know if i asked for the moon and the stars my lovely DH would do his damndest to get them for me.
Life can change in ways you never imagine.

MillieMoodle · 08/09/2019 21:14

Thanks @Orangecake123, my grumbles are so insignificant in comparison with some people's, I just don't feel they're really valid. So I plod on. It's not all bad, and I keep telling myself that this too shall pass. I could probably do with some counselling to deal with issues which have come from an emotionally abusive ex, which although years and year ago seem to affect/bother me more as I get older. But I don't want to admit that to anyone IRL or bring it all up again.

Bluewavescrashing · 08/09/2019 21:19

Hard in some ways. Married to an alcoholic. I have a lot of health problems and have lost my career. No financial independence.

However, I have lovely supportive parents, my DCs are thriving at school and are happy. We have enough money for now. I'm not suffering from anything terminal thank goodness. I have some fab friends.

weebarra · 08/09/2019 21:22

I feel hugely lucky. I was diagnosed with cancer in both breasts when DD was 8 weeks old. That'll be 6 years next month.
I'm here when I didn't think I would be.
My sister killed herself three months ago, I miss her so much. DS1 has moved on to high school. He has a genetic condition and ADHD but seems to be doing ok.
And we've just moved house!

minesagin37 · 08/09/2019 21:34

I'm 52 and increasingly find my thoughts wander to I won't live forever, what about my kids. Married to a very kind man. We get on well. It's never been high passion but we're soulmates. He doesn't have great health and I think that's why I think about mortality more. Older daughter at uni. Younger nearly 14 and I miss spending time with her. My job is stressful. I put on a facade of loving the challenge but really I don't. We bought this house two years ago and I love it. Not looking forward to Christmas as we don't have lots of functions to go to. Plenty of friends but they all do other things at Xmas. Grown apart from my siblings since my DM died. Xmas seems to highlight that rift. Mostly I enjoy life and earn enough money to enjoy it but like most people I have the odd downer.

belleandbete · 08/09/2019 22:32

What an interesting thread.

I am very lucky in that I have a lovely supportive, kind DH who always puts family first and who I genuinely enjoy spending time with. He also earns well, allowing me to work in a career that is a passion but that pays badly. I have also been pretty successful (tho not financially) in this field on my own terms which gives me a lot of pride and fulfillment and also flexibility. We live in a lovely house in a city I love. I have a great circle of friends and we have lots of good and supportive family friends and a great community. We have three healthy boys who are doing well in many ways.

The hardest thing for me is life with the kids. My eldest was diagnosed with anxiety and depression last year (at age 8) and we have no idea where it came from and for a good year and a half he was desperately unhappy and very very challenging (Huge raging meltdowns, threatening to kill himself, smashing things in the house etc) which was exhausting and incredibly upsetting. His younger brother is also a handful and they fight brutally and constantly. And we have a 1 year old as well, who didn't sleep until very recently when we sleep trained him and is into absolutely everything. LIfe with the kids is incredibly stressful and full of angst and worry which makes me feel very sad as I feel it should be hte most joyous part of my life . thankfully my eldest does seem to be improving with lots of therapy and help which is making family life easier but it has really taken its toll. This has all meant that I have had to take a step back from work as well for a year or so and so my career has stalled a bit, so I need to do something about that too.

Femodene · 08/09/2019 22:45

Great

Blissfully Childfree by choice
Work 1 day a week
Removed toxic relatives from my life
Plenty of time for my hobbies and family of choice.

Bloodybridget · 08/09/2019 23:10

On the whole, I have a lovely life, I've been very lucky, especially since getting together with my DP 19 years ago. Been retired 5 years, which I love, great family on both sides, plenty of good friends. But I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in May, which has turned things upside down. Hope that normal life will resume after chemo and that I won't have a recurrence.

U2HasTheEdge · 08/09/2019 23:13

It's life, so full of ups and downs.

My marriage is great.
My children are great, some are being pains right now which is stressful though.

My job is good. I love what I do but I am wanting new challenges. I am studying which is stressful with 5 children and work, but also very interesting and it will lead me to great things.

My husband suffers with his MH and he is reasonably well right now. I know that this could change any day again.

I have a few good friends and I'm happy with my social life. I have a lovely family. Love my dogs.

My money situation is shit, I have had reflux badly for a couple of months now which is pissing me off. I want to lose about a stone of weight which is a work in progress. My mental health is pretty good right now.

I have had utter shit times though. My childhood and younger adult years were extremely difficult. I have suffered badly with my mental health. Nearly 6 years ago we went through an awful time when three of my children lost their dad to cancer. Seeing my children in that much pain was brutal. Although he was my ex husband when he died I still do miss him.

So right now life is pretty bloody good. I appreciate these good times because I am well aware how things can change. This is the happiest I have ever been since... well ever.

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