I am so fucking unattractive on holiday.

[PrincessConsuelaTheSecond]

Despite being slim and wearing fake tan, I still end up pasty when the fake tan wears off and wobbly because my legs are ugh.

I break out in an obscene amount of spots. Every. Time.

I’m allergic to mosquito bites and insect repellant does NOTHING. I currently look like I’ve gone several rounds with mike Tyson as I’m covered in golf ball swellings.

My hair is crap and I’m a sweaty mess.

And I always get the shits. Any kind of change to diet or climate and my stomach is fucked.

How do you beautiful people do it

Avon Skin so Soft and Neutrogena body oil (can’t remember the exact name) are amazing for keeping mozzies and sand flies away.

I lol at the term ‘holiday or beach hair’. That, for me, is some kind of ‘just been electrocuted’ look.

I want to know where the Margarita a pp mentioned is. Sounds like my kind of holiday destination!

don't eat fruit (attracts insect bites for some people) and get sunscreen for sensitive skin (esp for face).

I won’t go anywhere hot or to places with midges or mosquitoes because of similar issues. You have my sympathy as I remember several miserable holidays until I put my foot down about where I would go.

1. Hot countries are cooler in Spring or Autumn.
2. Indoor activities avoid insects and are often air conditioned
3. Don’t go camping
4. It’s okay to not have a tan
5. Frizzy hair needs leave-in conditioner before you go in the sun

I’m more comfortable and far happier when we go away now (although still not beautiful). Good luck, op!

I manage by holidaying in the UK in my touring caravan. I self cater so no change in diet, it's almost never too hot and there is limited risk of mosquitos. I don't bother with fake tan and me, the kid and the dog love a good British beach day - kiss me quick hats are the best!!

Dustin Hoffman! Brilliant.

I remember my first holiday with DH, you know, where it's really important you look gorgeous? Well first morning I woke up to find I'd been bitten---- in my eyelid, looked like I'd been thumped and took two days to go down.

The morning after it had, guess what I woke up to on the other eye? Bastards

Being ‘older’ is the issue, I was once a bronzed, slender beach babe about twenty five years ago, now not do much!
I don’t think it is possible to look beach ready when you are the wrong side of forty. Your body is in decay. The bright sunlight enhances the view of the decline.
It is not only us, I have never seen so many pregnant middle aged men on holiday. It’s called getting old.
After hoisting myself into a swimwear monstrosity for the last time I vowed to do something else next summer, I hate sunbathing now, I can’t stand late nights. What is the point sweating it out for two weeks endurance oddly called a rest when it is anything but. Came back exhausted, and in need of, well, a holiday.

I'm so allalergic to mozzie bites that I've ended up in hospital in Greece due to them. Had over 50 bites, all swollen hard lumps and a few that swelled up bigger than 50p pieces. All pouring sticky clear liquid out of them - nice! God I was miserable, I looked like I was suffering a biblical plague when I got home. Some got really infected needing lots of antibiotics too.

My long hair goes all straw like and knotty abroad too, and I look like a sweaty (boil covered) mess. So much for relaxing holidays...

In fact I'm still suffering with mozzie bites from Portugal a couple of weeks ago - thankfully much less severe than the Greek ones. And my legs are still fluorescent white-blue despite forgetting to put sun cream on them the day we went to a water park and everyone else burned with factor 50 on

Dustin Hoffman made me laugh too - this is a lovely thread! Definitely all in it together. I never wear "holiday clothes" now, just normal stuff and definitely long linen trousers (not in the pool). This is after one year in Sri Lanka when we got off the coach into a beautiful park where local people were "taking the air" with their families, they all looked really cool and we were fat sweaty tourists dressed in M&S straw hats, pink flowery shorts n shit

To repel mosquito's theres a B vitamin that you can take which makes you less tasty. I can't remember which one it is but its not the bog standard one for women and it doesn't work if its part of a B Complex tablet

My brother swears by it - he spends lots of time running and cycling in the woods in Canada and got bitten alive til he upped his B vit!

Sounds like you’d benefit from ice caving in Iceland for a holiday...

Oh God, you aren't alone! My hair behaves really badly from the minute I get off the plane. I grew it especially this year so I could scrape it all back all day, evenings were just about ok if I put tons of conditioner on first. Now I'm back it's fine again! One thing that saved me from looking a total fright this year was a mattifying facial suncream, it really cut down on the shine & redness. Can't help with the tan issue, I've never worked out what to do for the best. I refuse to go away for 2 weeks, 10 days is my limit, I can't stay bikini confident after that!

it seems everyone is getting bitten.not just being away.at home here in the uk every facebook post ive seen is someone swearing at the f* bites they are getting like never before! it was even trnding on twitter

I love you all

My post was a bit tongue in cheek. I love it despite all of the above but I would occasionally like to look like a goddess

Fortunately DH doesn’t seem to even notice how I look.

Some brilliant tips here though. We’re in Spain at the moment.

We are also going to mosquito hell Florida in a couple of months and I’ll remember to pack everything on this thread, most of which hadn’t even crossed my mind

@PrincessConsuelaTheSecond.....I feel your pain. I look so shit in the heat - my baby hair just straggles, make up sweats off revealing my freckly grey skin, thighs rub together and shorts ride up my arse, always get bitten to fuck................and I have to lug along behind my beautiful slim daughter who positively glows and would look good in a bin bag...sigh

I can't stand it....messy sweaty hair, bloated, make up melts off my face and hot just generally everywhere and not to mention my constany puffy face!

Meh, honestly I think 99% of people look great on holiday. Pretty much anyone who isn't me, as I tend to feel vile, but there could be someone else feeling crappy watching me and thinking I look good or whatever. I think most probably get a bit paranoid in shorts/bikinis/whatever. I know thats always been true for me anyway, that everyone else looks better in everything than I do

God same
My hair is SO SHIT when it's constantly in and out of pools/the sea, fluffy and frizzy and it's not long enough to tie back at the moment.
I look pink and sweaty rather than bronzed and shimmery.
I usually eat well and a really varied diet at home, holidays end up carb fests and I get bloated and wobbly.

Have you tried Avon skin so soft as repellant? I am very allergic to mossie bites but this stuff seems to keep them away!

😂 🦟

I don't go on holiday really and certainly nowhere hot

but I saw someone on here saying that while insect repellant doesn't work for her...Vicks Vaporub works?! It was an Aha! moment for me because I had been sitting next to a lady on the bus who reeked of Vaporub but didn't appear to have a cold. Maybe it's a thing?

I live in mosquito hell (or heaven, depending on your point of view) and have travelled to tropical countries. I am also very sensitive to mosquito bites. Or any insect bite.

DEET or picaridin (even better because it can be sprayed on clothes) are your friends.
Get the highest concentrations and reapply as directed. Always spray on before leaving the house, and if necessary in bed.
Also use or take those electrical repellents even if you're staying in a hotel or villa.

Having said that, the bites might be from other insects that are not affected by mosquito repellents.
Wear light coloured clothes and cover up at dusk as much as possible if the repellent isn't working well.

Oh I always look like shit. My upper lip is like Niagara Falls and my hair is a wiry, arid nightmare. My eclectic packing style (throw any old shit into a bag 20 mins before we have to leave for the airport) usually means I look like a drunk vagrant who had a suboptimal rummage through a charity bag.

I also recently suffered the indignity of having a lady come over to inform me my boob had popped out in the wave pool at a water park. DH was signalling to me from the side but I thought he was just giving a friendly wave.

Wafting about in white linen separates with swishy hair, I am not.

For as many weeks as possible before going on holiday take Acidophilus from Holland and Barrett. They are a pro-biotic, you have to store them in the fridge, they fill your gut with good bacteria which will overcome any nasty bacteria. I have a really sensitive system to change and I haven’t had the shits on holiday if I use Acidophilus it’s bloody brilliant.

This year I booked really last minute so was unable to take them in the lead up and I wasn’t well most of the holiday.

I don’t think it is possible to look beach ready when you are the wrong side of forty. Your body is in decay.

Jesus Christ. What happened to self confidence increasing when you're older. Maybe someone should tell Jennifer Anniston and Helen Mirren to get the fuck off the beach with their decaying arses.