Calling all immigrants. Any aspects of British culture you struggle with?

[FishCanFly]

I will start:

• Kids bedtimes. I've been called neglectful.
• School uniforms. I could buy many more clothes within reasonable fashion.
• Film\game ratings. Like if Skyrim would harm a 12yo

Not really aspects I struggle with; just things I found different. It’s different but that is to be expected since well it’s a different country; so you can’t complain. I also only stay in the UK for short periods of the year, not permanent …

• They genuinely love inequality. Bizarre.
• The very long Christmas period. Hate it.
• The strange relationship with alcohol. It’s like they drink to get drunk.
• Bit stuck in the past and quite conservative. In many ways. E.g: family law, subjects like euthanasia, everything is quite gendered …
• Quite a few have a skewed idea about how the world perceives them. In my experience, mainly the English (less so the Scots and the NI).
• Not very good at protesting/or general civil disobedience. A bit more zest would be nice.
• The tabloids.
• Oh and concerning Brexit, they assume that I care. I don't. In some ways it's probably better. It also doesn’t affect me. I do acknowledge that it's different for other people like my best English mate and his wife. She’s Czech and does some very specialist medical care for children (so quite easy for her to find a new job). They are moving to the Netherlands because she’s experiencing increased hostility.

There are also many positive qualities. Like I enjoy the ‘indirectness’, the humour … - not relevant for this thread though.

They genuinely love inequality. Bizarre.

Yes, this always baffles me, too.

My kids go to bed early on school nights,7-7.30, otherwise you can really tell the difference in their overall mood if they don’t get enough sleep. I’m more relaxed at weekends or on holiday but still not really late as I like time with my husband, we need time for each other as well. My kids also stay in their rooms at bedtime and they don’t get up before 7.30 on the weekends. As someone else said it is personal preference

Also as another poster pointed out I wouldn’t mind in the slightest if someone else told my children off if they were misbehaving, we were as kids but I have noticed a rise in other parents losing their shit if you even look at their precious wrong 🙄

Also tea time in my house is 5.30-6 pm any later and I end up with indeigestion

Indigestion*

Most British people's incredible sense of entitlement but complete lack of responsibility.

British people's inability to admit fault. Saying sorry many times is not the same thing.

Culture of evasiveness and insincerity.

And this: When I say "stiff upper lip" I mean the sheer apathy of people towards things that enrage them (or rather those responsible), such as shambolic train services or the right wing coup that Brexit is turning out to be. They call it a 'disgrace' or 'blow to democracy' but not many write complaints to the train operators or riot in the streets. I believe this is one of the main reasons why Britain is less efficient than for example Germany or Switzerland, where people just don't take all that shit

@Deathraystare - I think the doctors is one place where people don't just say "I'm fine."!

Generalising much, @enigma16?

As for not complaining, I have been one of many having a shitting fit at our district council for their complete inability to organise a waste disposal service worthy of the name. I'll be on the phone again today.

But countries where people tell each other they're fat and it's "culturally unacceptable", also have much lower rates of obesity. Peer pressure and society play a massive part.

I agree and I've seen it in my family. My grandma used to be the gatekeeper of slimness in our family. If you put on any weight that was visible she'd say 'You've put on weight! You need to get them off again or you'll never get rid of it', so we were all very conscious about it and none of us gained weight while she was around.

She died in 2006 and since then my aunt has gone from a size 12 to an 18, and my DM has gone from a 12 to a 16. Both of them are in complete denial about it too, always muttering about how 'skimpy' clothes are these days and 'badly cut' and 'all made in China'. I got so fed up of hearing it from my DM this summer that I told her that clothes are no smaller than they ever were, but that she's gained a lot of weight recently. Well, that went down like a shit sandwich! Clearly, everyone else in her life is playing along with this fantasy of hers that it's the clothes that have shrunk and not her that's grown. She's taken to calling me 'tiny' and 'a skinny little thing' though, which is maddening as a) I'm neither and b) I haven't lost weight and c) I've been much smaller at times. It's deluded nonsense, the lot of it.

I do not believe that one family member should be the gatekeeper of everybody else's weight. Very controlling and with the potential to lead to eating disorders.

Your grandmother sounds monumentally officious and unpleasant, and you have clearly decided to take on her role, @zafferana.

No, she wasn't actually and normally I'd never comment on another person's weight, but the way my DM was repetitively going on about something that's rubbish made me so fed up I spoke up (after several years of saying nothing). The fact is that the people of this country are much fatter than they ever were and I agree with the non-British posters on this thread who say that countries where getting overweight is not socially acceptable have slimmer populations. It's not healthy to be fat. You generally live a shorter, unhealthier life and you're more of a burden on society if you don't manage your weight. That is a fact.

I think children’s bedtimes here are to do with the weather and working patterns.
School/work start earlier than in some other countries and there is no long afternoon break for a rest. Given children need much more sleep than adults, going to bed at 10pm does not allow enough sleeping time. Also adults do not get any time to themselves in the evening. If you have to be up early and the weather doesn’t permit for anyone to be outside, it’s a grim outlook. Everyone up late and nothing to do. Adult TV not suitable for kids either.

Baked beans on toast is just the British equivalent of beans and rice, which many people eat round the world. Grains + beans = a complete protein therefore a cheap meat substitute. The only bad thing about them is the amount of sugar and salt, which are being reduced now anyway. I guess they must seem very bland tasting though, a lot of British people still don't like spicy food.

A good old British bashing thread

I struggle that in the midst of Brexit and eleventy billion American/french/German bashing posts on MN that @WalkersAreNotTheOnlyCrisps could get their knickers in a twist over immigrants who actually have lived in multiple countries and have chosen to live in the UK having a solitarty thread to discuss the odd thing they find confusing.

I find it strange that so many Brits have very strong (often ill informed) opinions on places they went to once on holiday, but barely understand their own government, or the European Union.

That so many people think it was a democratic vote and that all of us remoaners should stfu about it, even though a lot of us are moaning because we didn't get a vote and unlike them and many British remoaners, we're actually hugely affected by this and worried about our families.

I struggle with hot and cold taps (why just why?!)

I struggle with that fact that when someone is doing something obviously ridiculous in public most people will turn away and no one will be the first to say "stop being a dick, you're ruining it for everyone".

Or that public drunkeness is hilarious and beinge drinking is lolz even in middle age.

No, you mustn't speak to anyone's child, BUT you must forever be on a register of HVs/and HCPS who pop in unannounced to "check" on you at all times whilst offering noactual useful information or help It's quite claustrophobic.

How can 'too sunny',' too many leaves on the line'', 'might snow' all be legitimate reasons for the trains not running! That's every season!

School uniforms do nothing to stop inequality. I for one definitely won't be able to afford to buy them when my kids hit secondary. It will cost upwards of a grand for all of them.

I wish they would be honest and admit it's about creating a hive mind tiny military and stamping down individualism in children. Otherwise, it wouldn't matter where you bought them, OR if you tied your tie wrong, forgot your blazer once in a while. Funny how so many other countries manage to let children buy and wear their own clothes and still have better results.

Also, the British did not invent humour or irony. There's a reason most of your most popular shows were imported from the states/Canada/ Europe

British remainers who, after the referendum, said: "this is awful, I'm moving to Europe".

The whole point is that you can't now. It's not just kicking out Johhny Foreigner. It pointed out that actually they didn't really see British people abroad as immigrants but just "expats" that everyone wanted. At least the leavers were honest about their xenophobia.

We have many good shows of our own

I don't tend to watch the USA imports such as Friends etc but did like Incredible Hulk and Star Treck back in the day and I think we have great comedy in the UK

yoursweatersonbackwards people who moved shortly after the referendum may well be able to stay wherever they moved to, depending on that country's rules. I certainly started the citizenship application process for my adopted country as soon as the referendum was announced (making me an immigrant...) Lots of people did shortly after the result. Many people with a right to any duel citizenship through a parent or grandparent applied after the referendum.

So it's not necessarily true that people saying that just after the referendum couldn't move to Europe. It's very odd indeed to be angry with remainers and call the xenophobic for wanting to move to Europe!

Leave voters have shafted those without any claim to duel citizenship or permanent residence - those who didn't move asap or have the pure luck to have a right to citizenship of an EU country through a parent/ grandparent.

Many EU countries have made applying for citizenship far easier than the UK has, and already sorted out permanent residence for those not in the country long enough for citizenship on more favourable, clear terms than the UK.

It's the leavers who let slip they or their children have a right to duel citizenship and would move if Brexit all goes tits up who deserve our wrath and contempt!

Obviously the wealthy and privileged will always have the ability to move to some degree - the same way they move to non EU countries, with the money and/ or qualifications to meet financial residence requirements and pay for visas.

I think children’s bedtimes here are to do with the weather and working patterns./../ Also adults do not get any time to themselves in the evening.

That, I find, is the main difference - that when children are around, they are the focus and everything must revolve around them. Activities, foods etc must all be child-friendly. And then of course when you finally want to do something you like, children must be out of the way.
Whereas in many other countries, adults live their lives and children are expected to fit in. I live on the continent and when I have other people over, adults do what they want and kids are expeced to amuse themselves. When Brits come over, parents spend all their time following and entertaining their DC - and if they want to have a party the adults enjoy, children are left with babysitters.

"the continent" isn't a hive cultural mind though.

I find the obsession with what the time one click is weird when it comes to children's bedtime threads on MN - "My children couldn't possibly go to bed before 9pm, we actually like them!" is ridiculous - it's not whether it's 7pm or 9pm that matters, it's how long is it til they have to get up!

I couldn't stand the French way of spreading the work and school day out over so many working hours - German children go to bed earlier than British children where we live, because they get up earlier! The school day starts at 7:30am but they are also home by 1pm, so going to bed at 7pm at age 6 or 7 and 8:30pm even in your teens is perfectly fine and normal in term time, but you've had 7 awake after school hours before that.

Lots of parents coordinate their day with their children and are in the office before 7am, but there's no presenteeism or pretending to be busy or sitting at work browsing the internet and few long lunches and it's common to be home from a full time office job at 4pm, thus getting a lot of time with children/ family after work - usable time.

*what the time on the clock is

I think we import US/Canadian TV because the language is shared and TV companies want to recoup production costs from selling and save production costs by buying. It would be great if we only bought the good stuff, but there appears to be plenty of dross imported as well, which indicates the quality of programming isn't the only consideration when it comes to imports!