Calling all immigrants. Any aspects of British culture you struggle with?

[FishCanFly]

I will start:

• Kids bedtimes. I've been called neglectful.
• School uniforms. I could buy many more clothes within reasonable fashion.
• Film\game ratings. Like if Skyrim would harm a 12yo

You can not sleep with a person your friend has slept with

Really? I know someone who went out with both his best friends' ex-girlfriends (after they'd split up).

Objectively you are right in that it's choice to buy these things. But for a long time there's been dispute over what constitutes a healthy diet. For many years we were told fat was bad, now it seems sugar or carbs are the issue. We've been dieting for years by eating foods high in artificial sweeteners but low in fat and asxa population getting fatter.
People work long hours, are tired, often struggle financially, don't feel like cooking or don't know how to a lot of the time. Meanwhile 'crap' food is cheap, easy to make and less likely to be rejected by the kids. Our whole way of eating has moved away from 3 square meals based on meat/fish and vegetables to cereals, bread and convenience food.
And that's before you get into situations where people comfort eat.

It's hard to slim in the UK - our social activities seem to be based around food or drinking. We go out for drinks with friends, or dinner. We buy snacks at the cinema. We are not really outdoorsy (might be weather related).
All that sounds like a list of excuses but the cumulative effect is a fatter population.
I still think it's unkind to tell someone they are fat though.

Aaaah the kids eating thing is another thing that annoys me. Why do people give their children seperate food! Is that not so much more work for you??

I imagine the kids eating thing is tied to the bedtimes thing tbh. My dh works till half 6 so doesnt get home till 7pm or later depending on traffic etc. If we ate then as a family the 1 year old would be too tired to eat and the 4 year old wouldn't want to go to bed. They have to be up by half 6 in the morning so a bedtime later than 8pm they wouldn't really get enough sleep. So they eat at half 5 ish, sometimes I eat with them and sometimes I don't. We eat together on weekends. When they get older this will change but right now it's the only way we can work it.

but why make two different things??cook once. the kids food classification drives me mad. even in restaurant,beautiful foods and fish and chips in kids menu

To be fair (before I unwittingly start another virtual stoush), as I pointed out in my previous post, the UK does not have a monopoly on separate meals of shit food for kids. (And of course. . .#notallbrits. . . )

I really should swear less.

I never said I make 2 different things....just different mealtimes. Sometimes I make different things, my dd is allergic to nuts which rules out a lot of curry sauces etc so sometimes if we want a curry I cook 2 different things. Somethings dont heat well back up so I make separate things. I dont see why it's an issue tbh. It makes sense for some families like I said. I batch cook some kids meals so I just heat them back up. Everyone's lives are different. Kids menus are not a british thing either. They have them in lots of countries. Blander versions of adult food.

@needadvices I always find that odd as well, my son and I will eat in about ten minutes, before my ex moved out I would plate his up and reheat it when he got home, I would then eat a snack with him so we still got to eat together.

When my son and I go out I always ask for a child size portion of an adult meal, there is no way I’m feeding him some crap with chips and beans when we go out.

Not all dishes keep nicely, some foods taste rubbish heated up later. Also when my kids were little they didn’t like very hot spicy dishes which dh and I do, so it would have been pointless serving those up to a toddler. Now they are older they love them of course.
Yes kids menus in pubs and chain restaurants tend to be really bland and unhealthy and it’s very annoying, but I’ve noticed that is slowly changing.

I started a thread a while ago about it and got completely torn apart. I was even branded a racist.

I still remember the comment on a thread on MN about how a friend was being ridiculous to suggest going to an Indian restaurant with kids, as no kid likes curry.

I think the most accurate thing I've heard about Britain (specifically London) is that if you live here for six months, no one will speak to you for the first five months but then you'll have mates for life. Compared to somewhere like L.A where everyone wants to get to know you because you're cool and exotic but the friendships don't actually lead to anything.
I've found that to be true. I've got mum mates here who grunted at me for maybe a year but now if I rang them and told them I'd killed someone, they'd help me hide the body.
I'm proud that we aren't the most forthcoming with our emotions but actually we are pretty loyal. My dad (one of them latins) tells me he loves me over and over but has never really put himself out for me. My stepdad (very English) however turns up at my house with a handmade mud kitchen for the kids, leaves it in the garden with a note that reads 'see you on Wednesday 9am.' That might just be my strange family dynamic though. Obviously there are great dads all over the world (just not mine.)

@TheMessyCleaner - what's a homemade mud kitchen?

Think of a play kitchen but outside probably made of wood where you can make mudpies.

On the bus this morning I was thinking this might be typically English and a bit strange.

Dr. How are you today
Patient. Fine Doctor
Dr. How can I help you.
Patient. (obviously not fine) I could not sleep for the pain/nausea etc etc.

I used to do it myself until I realised how daft it is saying you are fine when you aren't. Just trying to be polite!

Now when they ask how I am I normally say what the problem is.

I think that’s why most GPs ask ‘What can I do for you today’ as a greeting.

Yep!

All this talk of how bad baked beans are and here I am, eating a bowl of baked beans and cheese. Nothing else

today is obviously a controversial day in our history

this thread is reminding me why I'm so glad to be British.

in fact, it reminds me of a wonderful scene in the last series of Victoria. A man from French royalty says to Lord Palmerston "your country is wonderful. If I were not a French man, I would wish to be an English man."

so of course Palmerston says "thank you. If I were not an Englishman, I would wish to be.....an Englishman".

okay, that's not verbatim but you get the gist!

PS Thank you to all those who have early bedtimes for DC, leaves the summer evening world so much nicer for the rest of us.

Rosa

@DirtyDennis WELL SAID

"I also don't understand the very individualistic approach to parenting. I don't have children so I'm not speaking from a position of expertise at all but it seems that in the UK, you absolutely shouldn't concern yourself with anyone else's children or parenting at all (unless there is suspected abuse).

I find that so weird. Where I grew up, children really were raised by a community. You were just as likely to get bollocked by your neighbour, the shopkeeper, some random person on the bus as you were by your own parents. Parents didn't take it personally that someone else would tell their child off - the attitude was (is) if a child's being a twat, they need to be told enough and it doesn't really matter who does that."

Its called Universal Values (every adult giving the same message) and it is important.

I could never understand how someone who trust me with their child, their child's safety, their child's welfare, their child's feeding (leaving them with me for a sleepover or a day out) ...

but refuse to trust that I could arbitrate over a kerfuffle in the ball pit or playground fairly and equally. Utterly . How are children supposed to learn how to deal with conflict?

I’m not British but I went to a boarding school and children in my home country definitely have bedtimes, so there is nothing particularly British about either of those things. I didn’t personally have a bedtime as I had a single mum who didn’t get home til late so she kept me up as late as possible so she’d actually see me. But all my friends definitely had bedtimes.

The only thing I’ve ever found difficult (lived in the UK nearly a decade now) was the non direct thing. I sometimes come across as a bit rude because I’m very forthright. My dh wants to crawl in a hole in the ground some days, but I cannot not just say what I mean.

Also I find the whole offering people a cup of tea thing difficult. Like supposedly we should offer builders and workman and such a cup of tea just for hanging around. You do that in my home country and it just gives them extra time to steal something or they’ll bill you for that extra 20 minutes. No thank you.

Otherwise a lot of the differences PPs are picking up on seem more class based than anything specific to British people.

It’s certainly British Culture to say “Oh fine, thanks ” When you’re asked about someone.
An old neighbour asked about my mum and i atomically said. “Oh she brilliant thanks, and Then I said Oh no She passed away a few years ago”. I just must have went on auto pilot

Like supposedly we should offer builders and workman and such a cup of tea just for hanging around. You do that in my home country and it just gives them extra time to steal something or they’ll bill you for that extra 20 minutes. No thank you

Why are you so suspicious of your workmen? If you think they're thieves or workshy, surely you don't hire them in the first place? It must be exhausting to be so cynical. Do you charge them for using your loo?