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Original poster

Really really struggling with newborn. Don't think I'm cut out for this

92 replies

Nobhobs · 17/08/2019 16:10

He just won't stop crying and fussing and fighting sleep. I'm trying to breastfeed but he feeds so regularly I can't keep up I'm totally exhausted. Tried pumping but it's so much work and he feeds so regularly it's hard to find time to do it. My pump isn't handsfree and the second I seem to start he wakes up screaming and I need to stop and hold him. He's got really bad acid reflux and is on ranitidine and gaviscon but he's still sick constantly. I just need some fucking sleep and it's got to the point I really am starting to fall apart. On a good day where I've had some sleep and he's being cooperating I'm happy and love being a mum but so so so many days are hell and I'm running on 4 hours of (broken) sleep every night and 15 minute cat naps here and there before he wakes up screaming again. I cannot do this every day

OP posts:

MoreSlidingDoors · 17/08/2019 16:12

How old is he? I’m going to guess 2 weeks? This is completely normal, you know.

TokyoSushi · 17/08/2019 16:13

You can do it! It's so bloody hard but you can, do you have anybody who can give you a break?

Laiste · 17/08/2019 16:13

How old is he and how often is he feeding?

I don't think there's a single mother on this planet who hasn't felt what you're feeling at the new born stage OP.
Remember, this is just a short stage. It will pass.

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Babies & sleep Children's sleep Families General health

Original poster

Nobhobs · 17/08/2019 16:17

He's 5 weeks. The first week was hell but it got better and better and as soon as I thought I've got this he turned into a different baby and now it's just hell again. He's feeding hourly. My husband takes over between 6 and midnight when he's not working but the other 18 hours are on me and it's just relentless. He used to be awake and alert a few hours a day but now if he's not sleeping or eating he's screaming and its miserable. So so so miserable.

OP posts:

LilyFromTheValley · 17/08/2019 16:17

You can do it OP! It's only for such a short time & in a few years you'll have forgotten the first six months... It's really bloody hard while you're stuck in the thick of it though.

Original poster

Nobhobs · 17/08/2019 16:18

Even during my 6 hours 'off' I ended up having to pump or breastfeed so I just haven't slept for longer than an hour or so in weeks.

OP posts:

TeachesOfPeaches · 17/08/2019 16:19

Perhaps consider introducing formula so you can have a break? I ebf for 6 weeks then started mixed feeding.

Floralnomad · 17/08/2019 16:20

If you are finding it that much of a problem then switch to mix feeding , do whatever suits you to make you happier and able to cope .

norbert23 · 17/08/2019 16:21

I know how you feel, my DD was the same and it was hellish watching her so upset and uncomfortable. We cut out dairy and she was a different baby - no more silent reflux and slept / settled. I bf and we both went dairy free. Hard at first but not as hard as her being so upset. It may settle and be ok on its own, I hope it does soon for you so you can get some rest x

Muddytoes1 · 17/08/2019 16:26

Aw op it really is brutal, well done and keep going - you absolutely can do this! I know it’s not for everyone but I coped with both mine as newborns by cosleeping which totally saved my sanity. I also used to work hour to hour at that stage. You are doing amazing and it will get better. X

MoreSlidingDoors · 17/08/2019 16:27

Perhaps consider introducing formula so you can have a break? I ebf for 6 weeks then started mixed feeding.

I bet you weren’t still breastfeeding at 6 months.

MoreSlidingDoors · 17/08/2019 16:29

My husband takes over between 6 and midnight when he's not working

Why only when he’s not working?

6 weeks is a massive growth spurt. Get a mini fridge for your bedroom, a box set and go back to bed for a week with baby.

HLBug · 17/08/2019 16:29

This sounds like my two babies before we realised they had issues with dairy. Is he having issues with wind / poo? Might be worth speaking to your GP about CMPA? You are doing the best you can possibly do - this stage ruins the best of us, keep strong!

Sandybval · 17/08/2019 16:31

The first few months were hellish in my opinion, only now can I look back at them fondly. Have the doctors been able to do anything further to help with the reflux? Or any breastfeeding support groups in your area? I know it's the last thing you probably feel like doing, but feeding what seems to be endlessly is normal at the beginning, but wondering if anyone can give advise re: the reflux which may help. Make sure you accept any support offered to you, and it's okay to feel like you are struggling; I felt really guilty about it but it is more normal than people think. Although it doesn't seem it it won't last forever, and it sounds like you are doing amazing

Choice4567 · 17/08/2019 16:32

@MoreSlidingDoors ‘I bet you weren’t still breastfeeding at 6 months’

So? What’s your point?

rottiemum88 · 17/08/2019 16:32

Perhaps consider introducing formula so you can have a break? I ebf for 6 weeks then started mixed feeding.

I bet you weren’t still breastfeeding at 6 months.

@MoreSlidingDoors why so? I did similar with my DS and am very much still breastfeeding at 7 months with every intention of continuing

MsPavlichenko · 17/08/2019 16:34

MoreSlidingDoors I ebf my DS. I mixed fed my DD. Usually a bottle at tea time. Weaned at about a year so it is perfectly doable.

BarbarAnna · 17/08/2019 16:35

As a pp said it is brutal. It does get easier, I promise! I certainly could not have pumped at 5 weeks on my ‘off’ hours. I am wondering if that is counter productive for you, and might just be easier to feed and then hand the baby over and get your head down?

I mixed fed from about 6 months to just over a year so I have no experience of doing that at your stage, but later on it certainly is possible.

WingBingo · 17/08/2019 16:37

This is totally normal for nearly everyone.

You can do this, and if you really get the point when you can’t cope, give him a bottle. It saved my sanity.

LookImAHooman · 17/08/2019 16:41

Adding another voice/experience to Rottie and Pavli’s. And I’m seriously bloody pro bf. It was a last resort for me but mix feeding can work perfectly well and it sounds like it could keep OP bf for longer at this rate. No need for the attitude, MoreSlidingDoors.

wildflowersandweeds · 17/08/2019 16:46

Buy a haakaa pump... it saved my sanity. You stick it on the other breast while baby is feeding and it passively collects the let down. Much less faff, more hands free and means between feeds you're not having to pump

peachgreen · 17/08/2019 16:49

Sounds like a dairy allergy - my daughter was just like this, it was hell.

BertrandRussell · 17/08/2019 16:49

Why are you expressing, OP?

Skittlenommer · 17/08/2019 16:50

Did you not believe all the stories about motherhood being hard, thankless and exhausting?

MoreSlidingDoors · 17/08/2019 16:51

No attitude. But encouraging formula use in the early weeks reduces the chances of longer term breastfeeding, which might be important to the OP. Given breastfeeding is all about supply and demand, meeting the demand elsewhere has an impact on supply that can be harder to address later.

(I exclusively expressed for a year. I physically saw the impact of the odd bottle of formula”.)

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