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Original poster

The truth about having a second child

95 replies

bebeboeuf · 29/07/2019 17:57

A lighthearted thread to see if the main consensus is that the addition of a second child to the family is a blessing or if anyone has found it to be harder than expected.

We are at a crossroads where life is working out ok with one and don’t want to rock it too much but worry about the future and if the worst was to happen our child being left alone

OP posts:

Mrscog · 29/07/2019 18:05

Blessing here, although the bit with a 1 and 4 year old was a year of total misery!

Hermagsjesty · 29/07/2019 18:09

Absolute blessing here (I have 3 kids - aged 7, 5 and a new baby). The oldest 2 are such good mates. Obviously they argue but they have each other’s backs. When the 5yo started Reception in September he waited outside his big sister’s classroom door every playtime &she let him join in with her friends until he was confident with his own new friends.

Bloodycats · 29/07/2019 18:13

Well it’s got pros and cons.
I definitely don’t regret it for a second though. I love him to pieces and can’t imagine ever not having him.

Interested in this thread?

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Families

Enko · 29/07/2019 18:18

No 2 is wonderful amazing and right now has bright blue hair. She is 19 older sister is 21. Best decision ever to have another

IRememberSoIDo · 29/07/2019 18:20

She's doing a dance routine right now to Taylor Swift that is becoming more of a striptease. She's 7 and utterly mad. Love her!

Littlepond · 29/07/2019 18:20

Second child wonderful and definitely added to life. Had a third and suddenly life was epically hard work. Obviously I don’t regret a thing and my third baby is now ten and brilliant, and I’m glad we had three, but oh my goodness it wasn’t easy.

For us, one to two was fine, two to three was WTF have we done lol

Fauxgina · 29/07/2019 18:21

Not light hearted -definitely not a blessing here. I love them both equally and dearly but it has been too hard.

shadowloveragain · 29/07/2019 18:21

One to two was easy, two to three was the hardest. If I don't have a routine in place everything goes to pot.

IamWaggingBrenda · 29/07/2019 18:22

Mine DDs are now 26 and 19 and best of friends. I adore them both - the two best things we ever did was having both our kids.

Yogagirl123 · 29/07/2019 18:23

We have a 21 month gap, between our two, no regrets, of course it’s hard work in the early days, but totally worth it. Ours are 18 & 16 now, it’s gone so quick.

EmrysAtticus · 29/07/2019 18:23

I don't have a second so can't comment personally but I have noticed that a lot of posts appear about how hard and unrelenting parenting is and I honestly don't find that with one. Obviously there is an occasional bad moment but mostly parenting is pretty easy now the baby stage is over. There may be plenty of people who find that with more than one, I just haven't seen posts by them!

Readytogogogo · 29/07/2019 18:26

I currently have a 2.5 year old and 9 month old, always reassured to hear that things get a bit better! Even though it's hard work, I'm very glad we did it - the family feels complete now.

ILiveInSalemsLot · 29/07/2019 18:27

Initially it was hard trying to juggle a toddler and newborn and feeling a wreck with sleep deprivation.
They became best friends pretty fast and it’s been great able to step back as they play well together and watch the same stuff on tv.
Gives me lots of free time.

BertieBotts · 29/07/2019 18:29

Love having a second. Best thing Wer have done honestly. Yes there are hard moments, it's overall more stressful etc but it's so worth it for the moments between them and our second child is also amazing.

I should add a disclaimer though - I have a ten year age gap so no toddler/baby logistics and my second child is the happiest, most content, independent baby I've ever met. OK so he doesn't sleep but non sleeping babies have never been a particular issue for me.

70sCarpet · 29/07/2019 18:30

I found the 1st very hard as it was a massive adjustment to be solely responsible for this mini person 24/7. But when I had no.2 2yrs later every changed immediately & became SO easy. I am very, very lucky in that my world shifted with the second & I never found it hard after that. I think because I hadn't finshed nappies etc that I just transitioned smoothly to the next one. & They were so close they could do everything together. I wanted a 3rd but dh said no. That was painful.

Rodent01 · 29/07/2019 18:31

2 and 6 year old DDs. Easy peasy due to the large age gap, and despite what people may think, they play together loads! (Obvs and fight loads like most siblings!!)

NC4this123 · 29/07/2019 18:31

Don’t regret it at all, and would do it all over again - however I think it depends on the child, child 1 = easy baby, calm, always happy, slept great, really healthy. child 2 = hectic, wingey, never slept, absolute wrecking ball, constantly ill. 😂 so I think that made it harder and life went from calm to hectic. That said, wouldn’t change it, I’m just no longer broody 😁

user1498572889 · 29/07/2019 18:32

Loved having a second 16 months after having my first. I left it 3 years to have my third though. They are all blessings.

Cannyhandleit · 29/07/2019 18:32

1st year FUCKING HARD! I had a very easy going first baby a very difficult second so he was a massive shock to my system! Fine now he's 2.5 and still a fire cracker but atleast he sleeps now!

user1498572889 · 29/07/2019 18:32

Sorry 14 months not 16. 😂

Switchsplash · 29/07/2019 18:33

Our second child was the best thing we ever did. He is our sunshine. He makes all of our lives better.

Soola · 29/07/2019 18:36

A blessing. Mine are adults now and I’m so glad I had two. I’ve also now got three wonderful adult stepchildren.

minipie · 29/07/2019 18:36

I am only 60% sure that having children was a good idea.

But having had one, I am 100% sure having number 2 was a good idea.

Having said that, we’re lucky to have a smallish age gap and DC that get on well. With a larger age gap or very different and non compatible children (obviously not something you can control) I think the benefits are reduced.

It really gets good once the youngest hits 2.5 and they can talk to each other.

ElPontifico · 29/07/2019 18:38

Totally a blessing.

Had the experience, had the routines, had the equipment already. Plus they entertain each other from a surprisingly early age. And if you've got one already, then it's not as if you're going out clubbing every night any more anyway.

Of course it was (and is) extra work and hassle and stress, but nothing like the shock of having a first child after being child-free!

chocolatebrazilnut · 29/07/2019 18:38

I absolutely don’t regret having a second at all. Mine are in their teens now, and have their moments, but they get on pretty well.

From a slightly different angle - I’ve never got on that well with my sister but our elderly parents are both suffering from ill health at the moment and although we’ll never be best buddies, I’m glad she is around to help share the burden of responsibility for them.

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