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Original poster

I’m happy if you’re happy, what would you think of someone said his to someone in their wedding day

28 replies

Lardlizard · 28/07/2019 22:51

Cousin said it to another cousin, he was her brother
And I thought it sounds a bit like he doesn’t approve but he’s not going to cause a fuss

Just reminded me of it on love island

What would you think of you heard a Brother day this to his sister on her wedding. Day

Actually thinking about it
He actually said are you happy
And she said yes are you ?

And he said I’m happy if you’re happy

OP posts:
Bodear · 28/07/2019 22:53

Are you happy op? As in merry?

Original poster
Lardlizard · 28/07/2019 22:56

No I don’t think it was that as she only had one drink

OP posts:
ATowelAndAPotato · 28/07/2019 22:59

I would read that as him asking her if she was sure she wanted to do this because he thinks her future husband (or wife) is not good for her; but will support her decision if she chooses to go ahead. Also makes me wonder if she’d previously expressed doubts to him.

Original poster
Lardlizard · 28/07/2019 22:59

No this was in the evening after the wedding

OP posts:
WhoWants2Know · 28/07/2019 23:07

It means exactly what he said.

Original poster
Lardlizard · 28/07/2019 23:24

Hardly a massive endorsement though is it

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 28/07/2019 23:30

It’s a bride’s place to be happy on her wedding day. He was being sweet asking if she was. It was slightly odd of her to ask if her brother was happy too? Why would he be? It wasn’t his wedding. It would be weird for him to have any feelings other than to be happy that his sister was happy. His reply was perfect.

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/07/2019 23:33

My cousin said it to me. She couldn't stand my then H and thought he was an enormous dick.

He was.

ProfessorofPerspective · 28/07/2019 23:36

I think I agree with Hedda. He might just be saying to the bride - this is your day and all that matters is that you're happy, which makes me happy.

MayFayner · 28/07/2019 23:41

It means “I don’t like your new spouse but I respect that you love them (but I will also make this little dig)”.

Original poster
Lardlizard · 28/07/2019 23:59

May that’s what I think too

OP posts:
Original poster
Lardlizard · 29/07/2019 15:52

I think it’s a bit diggy, esp on someone’s actual wedding day

OP posts:
GreigLaidlawsbarofsoap · 29/07/2019 15:57

Yeah I would take it as he (the brother) isn't a fan of the groom but will put his thoughts aside as his sister is happy.
If he had said "I'm thrilled for you" or "I'm just so happy you two are hitched" or something like that it would sound genuine. "I'm happy if you're happy" to me means I'm not happy about this situation, but I can't do anything about it, so I'm going to bow to the inevitable with good grace for your feelings.

Abhann · 29/07/2019 15:58

Unless there's some back story you haven't mentioned, or his reply was accompanied by shaking his fist/running a finger across his throat while glaring at the groom, what Hedda said.

A bride is supposedly marrying someone she loves and hence being happy. His reply is essentially 'I'm happy for you'.

InTheHeatofLisbon · 29/07/2019 16:00

I'd take it as genuine. That he was happy because his sister is happy.

Unless there was a tone or there's a backstory I'd say it's genuine.

Original poster
Lardlizard · 29/07/2019 23:18

Isn’t it a bit odd though to ask someone if they are happy in their wedding day ?
I think the brother was slightly under the influence of alcohol
Not pissed, but perhaps a bit thoughtless

OP posts:
AmIChangingagain · 30/07/2019 08:37

I'm puzzled why she would ask him though.

Are they particularly close?

StVincent · 30/07/2019 08:44

If you’re the bride OP I think it’s time to stop dwelling on it. It isn’t really that odd to ask someone if they’re happy on a “happy” day. I hear parents say all the time “are you having a nice birthday?” and things like that.

If you’re worrying the brother doesn’t love the groom, this really isn’t enough information to tell. He maybe sounds a little protective of her. But that isn’t necessarily bad.

wafflyversatile · 30/07/2019 08:49

Why are you ruminating on this?

ysmaem · 30/07/2019 09:06

Yeah I agree with pp, he's happy that his cousin is happy but may not agree with the choice of spouse.

Eustasiavye · 30/07/2019 09:12

I think it is very odd to ask someone if they are happy on their wedding day., Of course you are supposed to be happy, unless we have been transported back to 1925 where 'shot gun weddings' were prevalent and women 'had to get married'.
Id take birthstone brother does not think the groom is right for his sister.

Abhann · 30/07/2019 10:56

I think it is very odd to ask someone if they are happy on their wedding day., Of course you are supposed to be happy, unless we have been transported back to 1925 where 'shot gun weddings' were prevalent and women 'had to get married'.

The key is 'supposed to' -- as many posters on Mn will testify, wedding days can be stressful, disappointing or actively horrible if caterers don't perform or relatives get into fights or the groom drinks until he's sick and passes out. You certainly don't need to be forced up the aisle by a visible pregnancy in order to have a less than lovely wedding day.

Perhaps the bride looked stressed or exhausted and the brother was checking whether she was OK. Perhaps something had gone wrong on the day and he was asking if she was doing all right. Those seem at least as likely as him disapproving of the groom and choosing to express it in a passive-aggressive way within hours of their marriage.

Nottobesoldseparately · 30/07/2019 11:51

I'm not hugely keen on my SIL, but she makes my brother happy. Genuinely happy.
That in turn makes me happy.

I'm not fucking stupid enough to say this to his face however, as it would cause all sorts of problems, and I still want to see my brother, so I keep my mouth shut. (As do my parents and other siblings).

Original poster
Lardlizard · 30/07/2019 12:32

I think the reason i thought it was a dickishthing to say is because this cousin is more like s sister to me, and although could see the hurt in her eyes, she didn’t actually speak up

OP posts:
Abhann · 30/07/2019 12:48

So this was an exchange between two of your cousins, you don't know what he meant by saying it, and you are interpreting her reply as a cover for hidden hurt, even though she didn't say anything -- and even though several posters have suggested completely ordinary ways in which this may have been meant rather than some sneer about the groom, you are still determined to be offended on your female cousin's behalf about it?