Firstly, I've name changed for this and I really don't mean to offend anyone, I'm just a bit lost today and I need some help. I'm sorry if it's a bit of an essay...
DH has Aspergers and although we rub along nicely day to day, sometimes the adjustments I have to make for him just get on top of me.
He wrongly perceives my facial expressions and body language all the time, often complaining that I'm being aggressive when I'm just talking normally ( it's often when I'm asking him to do something he doesn't want to do, like clean something). He has special interests and will choose to do these over all else. We could literally be going out the door and we he start doing the thing that interests him, which is very frustrating.
I love my husband and he is a good person, but due to the way his brain works, he will often leave me feeling very alone. We had a disagreement last night which resulted in me being in tears (this is very unusual) but because he has no need for physical or emotional interaction, instead of coming upstairs to see if I was ok, he stayed downstairs and did his special interest until I was asleep.
The thing is, he isn't doing it on purpose. He is a good man who would be mortified if he knew his behaviour was making me feel bad, but he literally can't help it! I can't say to him 'you're brain is making you behave in a way that makes me sad' because he can't do anything about it and it would make him feel like shit.
I have to organise everything as he can't deal with changes to routines. I plan every holiday, pack every bag, buy all the food and clothes for us all ( we have DC). He does look after the DC but will often refuse to help out around the house. He eats from the same mug and plate etc, so will wash these up, but will complain about any other dishes. It's the same with clothes. He hates having clean sheets, so will just refuse to change them. I do everything and feel like I'm having to support myself emotionally too. It's the same with sex. He likes it a particular way and literally cannot recognise that I might want something different. It's that way or nothing and so we rarely do it. No cuddles or kisses unless it's leading to sex. Occasional hand holding (for a few minutes) if I instigate it, it it's usually met with 
I realise that I'm portraying him to be a bad person, I really don't mean to. He neurodivergent, through no fault of his own, and normally I'm ok with doing everything I can to make his life easier, but it's just all just a bit much today....