I’m on holiday with my mother...

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And I remember now why I said last year never again....
I’m a single parent. She’s a widow. I’ve 2 ds, 8 and 10.
She clearly favours ds 10 and is openly rude to ds8.
She has martyred herself about everything, I don’t mind what we do, don’t worry about me, then told ds10 I need to respect her more and she paid more than her share (we split the costs in half). She put all our non freezable food delivery in the freezer and ruined it. She said I told her to. I didn’t. She read on Facebook an uncle who she hadn’t been bothered to visit in the last year despite living less than 10 minutes away had passed away - this wasn’t unexpected, he was 90 and had been having hospice care for months- and cried then went mad at me calling me hard hearted for not comforting her.
I forgot that last year she had an attack of the vapours and “went off her legs” crying and shivering in the caravan for attention because she didn’t get her way.
We’ve got to survive until Saturday.
Yes she was a shit mum to me....

You know she is incredibly toxic, keep her away from you and your DC

People as unhappy and toxic as her never change. You will never feel loved or seen or validated in a way you want your mum to, she can't do it. She's too toxic. It's no reflection on you or whether you are loveable it's everything to do with her. She could have an incredible life with a brilliant daughter and wonderful grandkids. She CHOSES to be be mean fucker instead.

Get rid, do you, be happy. It will be heartbreaking at first but as time passes it will be WONDERFUL.

I'm impressed you have such an honest relationship with your DCs. They will have learned a lot from you this week- grace under pressure, kindness, patience.

They've also seen your decision not to go on holiday with her again, and made their own observations about her behaviour.

You really need to step up the grey rock thing, though. Don't give her anything to use against you.

When my dad died, 4 years ago she went to pieces and left everything to me to sort, registering the death, probate, everything. When I asked if I could choose one of the funeral songs she went mad, said her grief was more important than mine, actually rang me up screaming and shouting at me. I couldn’t show any emotion to her, I was just numb, I got accused of being ‘hard’ again then too.

Exactly the same here 9 years ago! Even with the Funeral song! My Dad has asked me for a particular song at his funeral and when I told her after he'd died - she refused it!! Got screamed at and made fun of for crying at funeral

Please stay away from her. You don't need that negativity in your life. I can't believe she can be so horrible to you. Well done on your weight loss. Huge achievement.