Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Would you be angry at this?! Or am I overreacting

104 replies

MammaTo1LittleBear · 12/07/2019 10:41

So little one is now 8 months and he's going through the sleep regression I think

Last night he refused to drink his bedtime bottle, was up at 11 for his bedtime bottle, then woke at 1 for his usual 1 am bottle, woke at 2, woke at 4 (which he normally does but he usually comes in with us) and wanted to get up. Partner said "well I'm not getting up with him" even though he didn't have to do any work from home. Luckily I'm off work today.

Partner has not long got up he made him some toast and didn't ask if I wanted any and he took baby for about 5 minutes and then he's just gone out without offering to take baby so I could sleep

Would you be angry at this and what would you have done?

OP posts:
Original poster
MammaTo1LittleBear · 14/07/2019 19:20

Tomorrow I'll do that. He did 'help' earlier ( got sons bottle ready and read him a book).

My mum is on holiday at the minute so haven't told her but will when she gets back.

OP posts:
Honeyroar · 14/07/2019 19:29

Have you ever told him that he's not doing enough and it makes you feel like leaving him? Wake him up to reality a bit..?

Original poster
MammaTo1LittleBear · 14/07/2019 19:43

I've told him he isn't doing enough they other day but he said he does I'll tell I feel like leaving him as I haven't told him yet

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

6-9 months old Babies & sleep Children's sleep Families
Honeyroar · 14/07/2019 19:52

You never know, it might jolt him into reality a bit. You sound like you need to be a bit firmer with him.

Original poster
MammaTo1LittleBear · 15/07/2019 16:03

So told him it was his turn and baby was awake but he said he was tired In the end he did get up with him

I did say I felt like leaving him and he said don't.

OP posts:
Yellowweatherwarning · 15/07/2019 18:37

Tell him either way he gets ds 50% of the time. At home with you or wherever he moves out to....

Original poster
MammaTo1LittleBear · 15/07/2019 19:37

He did take baby out to the park before I got back from work and he was bathing baby when I got home.

OP posts:
Yellowweatherwarning · 15/07/2019 19:47

Small Steps op. Don't right him off just yet. My dm was very keen for me to bin my bf when we had dd young. Her reasons weren't in my /dd's best interests. Only hers.
Beware op, your baby and supporting each other while you adjust is fine. If it's taking him extra time then so be it. Imo.

Original poster
MammaTo1LittleBear · 16/07/2019 19:22

Today he didn't get up with son or hasn't helped out with him because said he was busy although he went out most the day

OP posts:
tinatsarina · 16/07/2019 20:04

Because you said you were thinking of leaving he's gonna step up for a day at least to try and make you change your mind. If he says he'll take baby and then doesn't, deposit baby on his side of the bed then go sleep on the sofa if he brings baby down to u then go upstairs away from them. But ultimately he won't change and you need to plan on having him as a part time parent while you live with your mum.

Original poster
MammaTo1LittleBear · 17/07/2019 16:21

Today partner took son out to the beach and I've had him the rest of the day.

My mum is still on holiday until Saturday

OP posts:
Original poster
MammaTo1LittleBear · 18/07/2019 19:58

He didn't get up again he just got baby and gave baby to me. My mum comes back tomorrow night or early Saturday morning

He's suggested we take son swimming tomorrow but not sure if he will come with me because he said he is but he probably won't

OP posts:
BananaBeforeBed · 18/07/2019 20:05

If you were my daughter I would want you home.

You don’t need to look after two children.

PrincessSarene · 18/07/2019 22:17

The thing is, you’ve told him that his lack of help is making you think about leaving. The normal response to that would be for the other person to step up and do their best to help as much as possible - the fact that he isn’t doing this speaks volumes. Either that or this is his best... You should listen to what his actions are telling you.

Maybe he thinks you won’t really leave. (You’ve mentioned your hesitation about doing this on her, so he could be picking up on that.) So maybe you should consider going to your Mum’s for an unspecified period. You don’t have to think of it as permanent if that’s too overwhelming at this stage. You can honestly say that you’re going there for a while to give yourself time to think. Then actually go. His response to that, and how you feel about it, could help you decide what to do long term.

Original poster
MammaTo1LittleBear · 19/07/2019 21:29

He got up with son today without me telling him. Then we took son swimming

Then I've had son the rest of the day again. My mum has came back from holiday today

OP posts:
Original poster
MammaTo1LittleBear · 20/07/2019 06:56

I'll move back to my mums today

OP posts:
madroid · 20/07/2019 10:31

You decided to move back home then?

It sounded like he was improving a bit?

I too would say beware of parents who want you back because it suits them.

RevealTheLegend · 20/07/2019 10:49

It sounded like he was improving a bit?

Nah

Tossing her a bone, doing the bare minimum for the shortest possible time. Don’t get sucked into that game.

Original poster
MammaTo1LittleBear · 20/07/2019 21:23

So I'm at my mums now. I said to him I was going back to my mums because he isn't helping and then he said he will help if I stayed.

My younger brother is 16 and he has been more help than partner. As he changed his nappy and he got my son's bath ready and took him out for a bit with his girlfriend.

OP posts:
AntisocialMedia · 20/07/2019 21:35

I do wish people would think before carelessly procreating. This thread is so depressing.

Original poster
MammaTo1LittleBear · 21/07/2019 08:51

We weren't trying for son but I found out I was pregnant and at first my partner helped but he stopped

OP posts:
MrsAJ27 · 21/07/2019 09:09

How are you feeling now you are at your mum's?

PrincessSarene · 21/07/2019 09:09

OP, I think you’re doing the right thing. Take some time to just be you and your little one, and then you can start to figure out what you want the future to look like for you both.

LittleMissEngineer · 21/07/2019 09:10

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster
MammaTo1LittleBear · 21/07/2019 18:07

I'm OK at my mums.

He messaged earlier saying he will help but I didn't reply.

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.