I know we’ve had these threads before but morbidly obese person on the train

[TrainWWYD]

I was at a meeting in London all day, train home at 5, so absolutely rammed by the time it got home.

I managed to get a seat (set of two) near the window. It was boiling hot on the train so I was already feeling hot and flustered. A woman got on the train and the seat next to me was the only one free.

In the nicest possibly way she was very very overweight, if she’d sat in the seats on her own she would easily have taken up most of the two seats. Instead she asked if she could sit down, obviously I said yes but she couldn’t fit on the seat facing forwards so she sat facing out into the aisle with her back towards me.

As soon as she sat down I squashed myself up against the wall to give her more room but she was pressed up against me with her back as people were trying to move past her in the aisle.

I suddenly got this horrible feeling of being trapped and started getting really panicky. Once the train left she couldn’t have got up even if I’d asked her to as there were people stood on either side of her legs in the aisle. The more the train moved the more she was pressing into me and the more hot and panicky I got and started feeling sick and then panicking about being sick and not being able to get up.

I tried moving more towards the wall but she just pushed up even more. I’m not big at all and she was easily taking up her seat and half of mine but was facing away from me.

In that situation would you said anything? Moved? I feel silly for sitting there feeling so panicky for an hour now. Spoke to my friend about it and she said I should have just asked her to move but I didn’t want to embarrass her in front of everyone in the train (quiet carriage too)

Tbh I’d have sucked it up but maybe not squished myself against the wall

I think I’m mostly annoyed as I haven’t had a panic attack in years. I hate feeling trapped, it was just as busy in the morning but I was fine as I could move

God that sounds horrific and actually hugely selfish of her. In that incidence of have asked if I could get up and I'd have stood, just to get away from her. I can't stand crowded public transport and strangers touching me though, it makes me feel ill and irrational.

*I'd have asked

It’s horrible when you are already hit and flustered and you feel trapped.

I would have stood up and asked her to move, fgive a shit if the train was moving. She could have squished a bit to let you out. Then at least you’d be standing in a bit more space.

If you were having a panic attack I think it would have been better to move. You could have just said you felt unwell or something.

I’d have asked her to move over.

I couldn’t have physically squeezed past her without her standing up and moving into the aisle, she was the width of the seat to the seat in front.

Grow up? Thanks

FFS grow up.
Don’t be so rude. That sounds like a shit situation.

I sympathise op, I'd have hated feeling so claustrophobic it as well, but good luck with this thread.

If anyone sits next to me I put the armrest down so I have enough space. Less effective for manspreading but I just accidentally stand on them.

I'd have put the armrest down.

I don't like feeling squashed or trapped, so when someone wants to sit next to me I stand up and let them sit in the window seat, so I can sit in the aisle seat. If you know you feel uncomfortable in that situation take steps to make sure it doesn't happen. I get panicky in lifts, so I don't get in them. I wouldn't get in one and then moan that I panicked.

We don't really need another fatty bashing thread though. If this was AIBU, I'd say YABU. Let's all wait for the delightful theatre seat poster to come on and bitch about us chunkers.

I’d have put the arm rest down too or asked her to move over. You don’t pay for a seat to be squished or have to share it with someone who can’t fit into their own seat. This is MN though so be prepared for everyone to come on and tell you you’re selfish for being annoyed at getting squished. After all, you should have stood OP (according to most on MN). 🙄. These types of threads never go well...

What was the woman supposed to do though? Overweight people have to travel to?

*too

I pay for my seat, not half a ruddy seat, so yes I would immediately have said something.

No need to be nasty and poke her and say, “Shove over fatso!”

I would have said, “You’re pushing me, can you move over as you’re on my seat”. I would have smiled kindly at her and followed it up with, “They don’t give us a lot of room on these seats do they?”

Either she would have shifted over or if she started being obstructive or accusing me of fat shaming her or other such nonsense then she would have the full range of my tongue about her size and rudeness.

What was the woman supposed to do though? Overweight people have to travel to?

Overweight people know their size, they know if the can fit into a normal sized seat or not. She should have sat on the edge of the seat if she couldn’t allow a fellow traveller to travel in comfort or stood up.

This again!

@CallMeOnMyCell oh so it’s a game of trumps is it? A fat person trumps a slim one and therefore must take up a seat and half of the slim person’s sitting next to them?!

That’s ridiculous.

No armrests on these trains. Of course she has to travel, personally if I was her I would either get to the train early and take a window seat or stand at the doors as many other people were doing

Incidentally, buying a ticket doesn't guarantee you a seat, unless you have specifically booked one. The passengers standing in the aisles paid for their ticket too, but they don't have the right to shove you off your seat or sit on your lap!

Sounds like you would have had a panic attack whoever sat next to you. I don't travel on public transport anymore due to panic attacks and being hemmed in by people. I had the screaming abdabs when the train was full whoever I was next to.