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Original poster

I know we’ve had these threads before but morbidly obese person on the train

116 replies

TrainWWYD · 11/07/2019 21:11

I was at a meeting in London all day, train home at 5, so absolutely rammed by the time it got home.

I managed to get a seat (set of two) near the window. It was boiling hot on the train so I was already feeling hot and flustered. A woman got on the train and the seat next to me was the only one free.

In the nicest possibly way she was very very overweight, if she’d sat in the seats on her own she would easily have taken up most of the two seats. Instead she asked if she could sit down, obviously I said yes but she couldn’t fit on the seat facing forwards so she sat facing out into the aisle with her back towards me.

As soon as she sat down I squashed myself up against the wall to give her more room but she was pressed up against me with her back as people were trying to move past her in the aisle.

I suddenly got this horrible feeling of being trapped and started getting really panicky. Once the train left she couldn’t have got up even if I’d asked her to as there were people stood on either side of her legs in the aisle. The more the train moved the more she was pressing into me and the more hot and panicky I got and started feeling sick and then panicking about being sick and not being able to get up.

I tried moving more towards the wall but she just pushed up even more. I’m not big at all and she was easily taking up her seat and half of mine but was facing away from me.

In that situation would you said anything? Moved? I feel silly for sitting there feeling so panicky for an hour now. Spoke to my friend about it and she said I should have just asked her to move but I didn’t want to embarrass her in front of everyone in the train (quiet carriage too)

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 11/07/2019 23:55

Normal" sized seats on public transport keep getting reduced in size, so that only Twiggy can get into them.

I am overweight and was very recently obese. I travel a lot on public transport and have fitted perfectly fine in every seat I have sat in.

It is not acceptable to call slim people 'twiggy', if someone used a similar derogatory term for someone who is overweight their post would be deleted but for some reason it's ok the other way round?

M3lon · 11/07/2019 23:56

soola I can't believe you would ever fit in a normal chair with a stick that size firmly wedged up your ass....

M3lon · 11/07/2019 23:58

oh I dunno...'fatty' and 'fatties' don't seem to have been deleted...both of which are rather more derogatory than 'twiggy'.

NerrSnerr · 12/07/2019 00:00

Ok fair enough m3lon they weren't deleted but I don't see how they're worse, and just because others use derogatory terms about people's weight doesn't make it any better.

M3lon · 12/07/2019 00:07

Yeah its about privilege though isn't it. Overweight people are shunned hated, spat at, and have reduced life expectancy to boot. Underweight/normal people are held up as fabulous, virtuous, and successful.

So its not quite the same being abusive towards the overweight as towards the underweight is it?

NerrSnerr · 12/07/2019 00:13

Or maybe we could just be respectful to everyone?

M3lon · 12/07/2019 00:22

sign me up! of course it isn't going to happen on a thread started entirely to abuse people who are morbidly obese...

If the OP had actually had a real problem she would have dealt with it by politely asking the person sitting next to her to move across back onto her seat. She then wouldn't have started a thread to discuss said total non-event.

managedmis · 12/07/2019 01:03

Spoke to my friend about it and she said I should have just asked her to move but I didn’t want to embarrass her in front of everyone in the train (quiet carriage too)

^

So the carriage was quiet?

TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 12/07/2019 01:34

"
A persons weight and size is their responsibility and it is they who should be courteous to other public service users and be mindful that their size could infringe on us, rather than we slim people indulge their gluttony and give them special treatment."

Bingo! Now that we've had the "being fat is a moral failing" angle, this thread is complete.

See you all again next week for the exact same fucking thread. Will it be a "gluttonous gorger" on a plane? Or a "face stuffer" (that's a new one) in the car? The suspense is killing me...

WyfOfBathe · 12/07/2019 01:42

So the carriage was quiet?

Quiet carriage = you're supposed to be quiet, not it is empty
www.lner.co.uk/the-east-coast-experience/the-east-coast-standard/quiet-coach/

Aus84 · 12/07/2019 03:19

oh I dunno...'fatty' and 'fatties' don't seem to have been deleted...both of which are rather more derogatory than 'twiggy'.

Really? I'm slim and people seem to think it's ok to tell me so. It's not, it hurts. Why can't people just be kind to all sizes.

Rockbird · 12/07/2019 06:52

I'm assuming the poster meant Twiggy the person, who was famous for being very thin as opposed to a random insult for slim people, seeing as how they capitalised the name. But yeah, fatties and face stuffers is fine. Hmm

Rockbird · 12/07/2019 06:53

Fair enough Aus84 but I'll hazard a guess that no one ever called out 'slim piece of shit' to you as you walked along with your kids?

Springhassprung11 · 12/07/2019 06:59

I would have said politely I needed to use the toilet as an excuse to get up and move. If there wasn't a toilet, I would have faked a phone call and said 'sorry I have no signal' (to the person on the phone) 'I will try move and see if it helps' and use that as an excuse to move.
I get a bit claustrophobic too, so would try move without looking rude.

harveywallplanner · 12/07/2019 07:18

Don’t forget the theatre @TrendyNorthLondonTeen.
Reading things like this makes me glad I’m a fat recluse.

NewYoiker · 12/07/2019 09:24

Ffs. Poor woman. You saw her size.. you let her sit down. She's not responsible for your reaction. Get a grip

NewYoiker · 12/07/2019 09:27

Maybe you should have shamed her publicly into losing weight.. shouting fat fat fatty mcfat at her? Or you could bitch on the internet about her....

DecomposingComposers · 12/07/2019 09:40

Truly don't get some of the comments here.

I have multiple joint problems, including spontaneous dislocations.

If someone squashed against me like this I would be in a lot of pain and almost certainly have a dislocated shoulder. Equally I couldn't stand for that length of time either but I should welcome someone crushing me and taking up half of my seat????

Constance1234 · 12/07/2019 10:37

@DecomposingComposers but then surely you’d ask them to move! The OP didn’t and is now complaining about it, but their discomfort was down to them not speaking up.

DecomposingComposers · 12/07/2019 10:43

Of course that's what we should do but it's difficult is not it? From the comments here it's obvious that it's a sensitive subject and I would hate to hurt someone's feelings so I get why the OP chose to be uncomfortable herself rather than say anything.

Tbh, we all need a bit more awareness and realise if we are taking up to much space or affecting someone else. The OP really shouldn't have needed to point out to this lady that she was leaning against her and taking up half of her seat.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 12/07/2019 10:52

Yes, surely the other woman could SEE that she was taking up much more than a single seat. Why is it all down to the OP to avoid making the other woman feel judged or uncomfortable? The OP could have simply sat in her seat, taking up the full space of that seat, and it is then up to the other woman to solve the situation.

OKBobble · 12/07/2019 10:53

You could have just said - sorry do you mind moving over a bit please? And she probably would have.

WorraLiberty · 12/07/2019 10:53

So its not quite the same being abusive towards the overweight as towards the underweight is it?

I'm pretty sure it is to the individual, yes.

Abuse is abuse.

Aus84 · 12/07/2019 10:58

@Rockbird no but I've been told to eat a burger by strangers. That 'skinny is out' and had to listen to radio jocks talk about how skinny Angelina Jolie is and 'how could a man ever love someone that thin'.

MonstranceClock · 12/07/2019 11:04

I would've told her to move. I was sat there first, not my problem she is fat.