‘Adult’ stuff you just can’t do

[EmilyDeservedBetter]

I’ve managed to reach the grand old age of 30 and still, no matter how much I try I cannot:

• keep white towels white! All my other white linen and clothes etc. stay white but the towels also seem to look so scruffy after a few washes. Therefore we are only allowed dark towels in this house.

• sew. I’ve tried and tried. Had dm sit me down to show me, followed YouTube videos, tried online reading. Nope - if I had to save my own life attaching a button to a piece of clothing I would be done for.

• command with my voice. Growing up dm used to be able to stop me in my tracks with a firm ‘no’ this is not a talent she has passed on. I can’t even get the bloody in laws dog to leave a room so no chance with my DC when they grow up

What ‘adult’ things can you just not do?

One of my (many) personal adult failings is a complete inability to put up my hair and have it stay put.

That's why I have a pixie cut. It's utter nonsense to say short cuts are high maintenance - I just wash and leave most of the time.

It isn't a cheap option though - hairdressers who can cut and shape hair well (as opposed to trimming off the ends, colouring and straightening) are hard to find and usually expensive.

@Xyzzzzz and for anyone else struggling with cling film, this has truly revolutionised my life:
www.lakeland.co.uk/7518/Wrapmaster-Foil-and-Cling-Dispenser?src=gfeed&efid=CjwKCAjwmZbpBRAGEiwADrmVXpbamIzizjOTRCN_2Bqu_u2AmiNq5LUe_a0BjQpivJ-Z60X5DG7FjBoCVdkQAvD_BwE:G:s&s_kwcid=AL!49!3!105383405669!!!g!42887478264!&ev_chn=shop&ef_id=CjwKCAjwmZbpBRAGEiwADrmVXpbamIzizjOTRCN_2Bqu_u2AmiNq5LUe_a0BjQpivJ-Z60X5DG7FjBoCVdkQAvD_BwE:G:s&gclid=CjwKCAjwmZbpBRAGEiwADrmVXpbamIzizjOTRCN_2Bqu_u2AmiNq5LUe_a0BjQpivJ-Z60X5DG7FjBoCVdkQAvD_BwE

Ha! Not the shortest link in the world

I can't

Put my hair in an updo other than a pony tail
Apply eyeliner
Keep my knicker and bra drawer tidy
Cook an omelette. I cook everything well, but fuck up omelettes every time

Yes cling film for me too! Also use a compass! Watch anything remotely scary..

@MT2017 amazing!

*Change a plug (more of a phobia after a hoover exploded on me due to a dodgy plug).
*Apply more than basic makeup without looking like a clown.
*Tolerate people who are constantly late.
*Change the gas drum to my cooker. I find it too hard to press the connector down without hurting my hand.

I'm shit at housework and keeping my house tidy. And organizing paperwork. I Iose EVERYTHING. I have had to get friends to collect my children and take them to school because I can't find my car keys... 😳, I am apparently a fully functioning professional...

Main bug bear for me is i can't change a tap washer.. plumbers around here can't be bothered to come out for such a quick job and i'm single, with no dad to help or male friends...

I can't tie my shoelaces properly I still do bunny ears method 😂

Can't talk on the phone.

Can't keep a pot plant alive.

Hate cling film although I'm 50/50 with it now.

I'm a procrastinator.

I hate housework.

Tolerate other people

Do that fake nice thing, where you talk to people you don't like politely. I just ignore as I see it as a waste of time and effort.

I can not, for the life of me, whistle.

Lots of things I’m shit at.
I also hate tea and coffee and agree with @gamerchick that no one really likes it and everyone is drinking it in an effort to look sophisticated

I can’t get stains out of clothes. It’s my biggest failing. No idea how anyone else manages, I dab at them with vanish, use biological washing powder, use non biological washing powder, rub at the stain with stain devil, leave stuff to soak - nothing. Still fucking stained.

I also can’t swim with my head under water (scared of water up my nose and in my ears, hate it) although sent all my dc to swimming lessons and they are competent swimmers under water.

I can’t open my new tub of ‘child safe’ washing tablets . Every time I get a new box I have to get dd to open them then I just rip the lid off.

I can’t do eyeshadow.

I can’t ‘match’ outfits. I live in dresses as I’m horrendous at being able to judge what looks right and what makes me look like a toddler raiding the dressing up box.

I can’t park forwards (I can reverse and parallel park perfectly )

I can however do lots of other things well so I don’t beat myself up about these small things

This is brilliant. I only park forwards, live in fear of my parking going viral if I parallel park in public

I can't work a corkscrew. Just can't fathom it.

Can't iron but that's no loss, never need it 😂

All of it