‘Adult’ stuff you just can’t do

[EmilyDeservedBetter]

I’ve managed to reach the grand old age of 30 and still, no matter how much I try I cannot:

• keep white towels white! All my other white linen and clothes etc. stay white but the towels also seem to look so scruffy after a few washes. Therefore we are only allowed dark towels in this house.

• sew. I’ve tried and tried. Had dm sit me down to show me, followed YouTube videos, tried online reading. Nope - if I had to save my own life attaching a button to a piece of clothing I would be done for.

• command with my voice. Growing up dm used to be able to stop me in my tracks with a firm ‘no’ this is not a talent she has passed on. I can’t even get the bloody in laws dog to leave a room so no chance with my DC when they grow up

What ‘adult’ things can you just not do?

Also putting clean laundry away! Obviously I can do it, and can do it very neatly when I get round to it, it just always sits in a pile for at least a day first (and usually all gets worn and washed again before it makes it into the drawer)

I can't drive
But I can cook, knit, sew, crochet, swim, cycle
I can't keep my house tidy, or do make up.
I agree with swapping skills. I'd be quite happy to spend an hour ironing or mending stuff, or sewing badges on uniforms if someone wants to do some tidying up

Scrambled eggs are easy!

• never add salt or milk as it makes them tough
• keep the heat really low (it might take ages but better than too hot)
• stir pretty much constantly.

Then you can add in cream or salt or whatever at the end.

@Bloodybridget
I've never been able to blow up a balloon

I can blow them up fine (trick is to give them a pull about first to squidge them/give them more blowy room oo-er)
I cannot for the life of me tie a knot in them so bit pointless being able to blow them up. They end up doing the comedy "squeeeeeee" around the room when you let go lol

I can’t like alcohol; tried every type and flavour, neat or diluted with plenty of mixer but I still can’t stand the nasty, burning taste. Sooner have a cup of tea or coffee. Thank gawd for whoever thought to serve tea and coffee in pubs.

Gardening, my dad comes round to mow my lawn. Obviously I can do it myself, but it's just such a hassle I put it off and then it's like a jungle and my dads lecturing me on aerating it (disclaimer, this might not be what he talks about or even a thing).

I also can't keep a tidy house.

• I cant swim properly, my glacial old lady breaststroke isn't a choice to protect my hair, its all i can do, and I'm puffed after two lengths despite regularly running 5 and 10k
• I cant look behind me on a bike or give hand signals without wobbling, I'm rubbish
• I'm like Mr Bean at folding newspapers or straightening up sheaves of documents

+ I have a great sense of direction and I'm good with maps, its a shame SatNav has stolen my thunder on that one a bit + i get economics and financial mechanisms

I can't open childproof bottles.

@toomuchisneverenough same, can't stand wine. I like whisky and gin though!

I can't keep my house clutter-free or tidy! Probably not so much can't, are can't be bothered, as there are always more interesting things to be doing.

Can't apply eyeliner well either.

I was rubbish at breastfeeding
Can't whistle

drive on a motor way

I can't understand time when the clocks go forward or backward. I understand the "Spring forward/Fall back" concept in that we put the clocks back an hour or forward an hour but then my brain goes PFFFFTTTT and If you asked me what the time would then be at the equivalent of 6am, I would have to spend some time working it out and would then answer only hesitantly. I am 54.

I learned to make yorkshire puds last year.

I do not know my left from my right - again I have to think about it. ANd don't ask me to do mirror image - ie someone else's left or right.

I cannot do simple mental maths. Like simple addition. I can do algebra, trig, I'm a wizard at geometry. By don't ask me to add 4 and 7.

Dive, though I can just about swim
Blow up balloons (delighted to see I’m not the only one )
Make a decent Yorkshire pudding
Cook meat (lifelong veggie)
Do a French plait
Parallel park without having a major panic
Wire a plug
Gardening/keeping anything apart from orchids alive
Remember which bin is being collected

I don't understand the rules in any sport, or understand/ play chess.
I can't do anything with mine or my daughter's hair except pony tails, can't even blow dry it.
I can't keep towels fluff they always go scratchy and hard.
I can't get whites to stay white.

I can't give successful hand jobs or blow jobs never ever with any partner.
Safe to say I'm useless.

Oh god yes, maths. It’s humiliating how bad I am at any maths.
Watch scary films

I can't dress coordinately which is fine if I'm gardening, or just at home.
Work - when I've worked in an office I just wore black trousers and a white shirt.
The thing I hate about going to big events is what can I wear. I also don't do heels

I have a very commanding voice.

But I can’t work cling film.

@GinLimeandLemonade i thought that was how you were supposed to put a bra on???

I can’t drive through a car wash. I’ve never tried it, but I always imagine I’d miss the little rail thingies you have to drive on. I also imagine I wouldn’t be able to start my car again as I’d be fumbling nervously with the keys as those big roller things come towards me, and I’d get stuck in the car wash, possibly forever.

I am a 33 year old adult, and I will NEVER attempt a car wash 😂

I agree AnotherEmma that most of the things mentioned on here could be mastered if there was sufficient interest, which is why I can't knit or crochet.

I can do everything else mentioned though, but I can't do the front crawl properly as due to s previously perforated eardrum I can't get my right ear too wet (earplugs don't work).

I also think that some posters are probably dyspraxic.

Drink tea or coffee. Bleugh! Not helped now that I wouldn't be able to put cows milk in them.

I was a late starter with swimming; I got my 25m badge at 16 at adult lessons. I learned to ride a bike at 19 but still struggle with gears and really struggle to maintain control when hand signalling.

Iron. The concept of cutting and sewing fabric to fit a 3D form then ironing it out to a 2D form is pretty daft when you think about it. You know if I've ironed as there tends to be heavy, random creases ironed in.

I can do simple make-up. Foundation is a struggle. Can't apply eyeliner, not helped by being slightly assymetrical and an awkwardly placed scar. Do other peoples" hair, I'm not used to doing it.

Co-ordinate documents and post in a timely fashion. I'm awful for sending cards.

I don't "forget" to do things, I just don't remember to do them at appropriate times, then they slip into the procrastination list of doom.

Get to places comfortably early. Something always crops up that has me charging around and scraping in on time.

There probably is a lot of dyspraxia responsible.

I suspect it in myself, especially now DS has a diagnosis, but my organisation and gross motor skills have always been pretty woeful. The PE teachers took years to realise that I genuinely was that awful at running, throwing and catching.

It took me a while to develop systems that worked for me when I started my professional life, and what works for me is rarely the orthodox or "logical" method.

Knit
Sew
Crochet
Wire a plug
Read a map
Iron
Car stuff like check oil/air in tyres/ change a tyre.

I'm dyslexic/dyspraxic. Definitely impacts on what I struggle with, but I still do think being motivated has a lot to do with it!