Does anyone else have no tablets/iPads/screens etc for their children?

[WellErrr]

Mine haven’t had screens, ever. And they won’t be until they can buy their own.
However - as they’re getting older, more and more people are pressuring me to get them. Apparently they need them for educational purposes and to not be the odd one out at school. I don’t agree.

But then I got thinking - I don’t know any other children without them. Is there anyone else out there with screen-free children??

I work in a secondary school. The kids do not have better IT skills than the staff.

I can only assume the feeder primaries and the IT staff at your school are not teaching the curriculum properly then.
I know that when the children I teach leave year 2 to move to juniors they all have way more skills than being able to swipe and click!

My current Year 2 have learnt about, and used, various desktop applications including using PowerPoint, Publisher, Paint and Word.
They can access the internet and use Google to search for key terms.
They can use various web based application to complete specific tasks.
They use simple databases and spreadsheets to search and sort data. They use data logging software to record information.
They use control technology software to develop flow charts to control different input and outputs.
They can also do simple coding using Beets and Beebot style software, and can also code simple games using Scratch, making use of selection, repetition, etc.

That's just the computer based learning. We also supplement their computing knowledge using the iPads and use a range of applications - certainly not just games! My year 1s have just finished some lovely little green screen and stop motion animations for example, and EYFS have been using AR technology to look inside the body to view the heart, lungs and more.

Some of the Year 6s I have taught and who are now in the juniors DO have excellent computing and ICT skills as it happens.

My DS (5) has my old iPad mini but is very carefully monitored. It's very locked down as to what he can access. His school sets him maths homework to do on there (active learn) and he likes going on Hospter to watch some videos/play educational games. He also enjoys Teach my Monster to Read. He's exceeding expectations in every area.

I can't think of many jobs which don't require access and use of technology. And, while OP you may not understand coding, it is very much a 'hot topic' these days and a much wanted skill.
I'm not saying that children should be glued to tablets, but my 2 yo has access to one to watch daft things which he enjoys and some little games. He only has it for half an hour or so so I don't see how it is much different that sitting still to do any activity.
I do have the TV on in the background all the time though. I haven't quite reached the breakthrough in therapy to turn it off. I really, really can't cope with silence.

My ex sil is an architect. Gone are the days of great big sheets of drawings, it's all done via technology now.

DH too!
DD is now on her iPad doing an 'animation' lord knows how she does it. I couldn't.

(we've been at the pool all day BTW)

OP's children are pretty young. Whilst no screens at all is unusual (especially for the 7 year old), I think most parents would allow fairly restricted screen time at these ages.

I suggest a device that allows access to the internet is going to be pretty vital for the oldest before long though (actually I'm surprised it isn't already). DC tend to get a lot of homework that involves researching a topic and writing it up or creating a presentation. By the time they get to the secondary school there is definitely the expectation that this is a skill they already have. They will definitely be deskilled compared to peers if they rely on reading books and writing up on paper to do this style of homework.

Easy to keep 3 and 4 year olds away from screens. My kids are teenagers but the only screen that they really saw at age 3 was when I got cash out at the cash machine or the tv with camera footage at Morrison's. It wasn't the norm to hand a phone or tablet to 3 year olds back then.

I think that you'll struggle to keep the no-screen policy in secondary though. Boys in particular often socialize via gaming headset and there's always viral videos and Netflix content that teen/tween kids talk about.

Has your 7 year old never been to the cinema? My kids went around age 5 which was quite late compared to their peers but I wasn't convinced that they'd watch to the end before that.

Do they listen to music? How do they learn song lyrics without the Internet? As they don't have screens, does that mean they wouldn't know what their favourite bands and singers look like?

My kids had online homework from y3 (MyMaths). Kids without online access could use computers at Homework Club which was held after school and at lunchtime once a week.

As some one who works closely with children (20+ years) I think technology is an important part of their lives wether we like it or not. They should have access to it without doubt.

However I do see it affecting very young children's development. When they do everything on their iPad ( I'm talking preschool children) they physically can't do things as they are still a lot of the time, social relationships aren't as easily formed and communication is often affected. Some dont even know how to play and get frustrated and bored as they've never been guided. Then a tablet or phone is shoved back in their face to keep them occupied. I'm aware this is certainly not all children but I do seem to see it more and more as the years go by.

I'm not judging people's choices and it's a parents choice on how they use tech but I just wish I could see children engage and play more, move more and be kids again, they gain so much from it. Like I said tech has its place but it definitely should be monitored and kept to a minimum like tv was with us as kids.

my 2 youngest don't have screens at all (they're 7 and 11). We're fine without them. I realised that we did two 2 hour car journeys the other day with no devices at all. Given that I have plenty of crap parenting incidents, I felt quite good about that.

My eldest children have mobiles which they get when they go to secondary school.

and my older dds are never far away from their phones. So I'm not smug honest.

Mine have 10-20m most days. Some school reading is done online so that's on top. Some weekends they get a movie or we go to the kids screening at the cinema. I do think screen time limits are important but as a PP said everything in moderation.

As I was going around a potential secondary school this evening I was astonished at what young people are doing and can achieve with technology and you forget just how much clever technology is used for so many things nowadays.

From design, where it is designed on a computer screen then a machine can print it using 3d technology. Advertising, so much is done cleverly using technology to design it and code used to make different parts do different things on the sign.

A kid demonstrated how they can design a key fob for instance in the computer using certain software then they laser it out of plastic sheets. They used the same method of technology to design a small boat (as in the size of a watermelon) which they used to race against other schools at an event.

Then there was computer science, cleverly designing games and using code. They were also programming and design websites.

Even science had the national grid and all its details on a big computer screen.

Technology isn't going anywhere, it's here and it's here to stay. The things it's used for is astonishing and we don't even realise!

It's one thing to not let your dc have hours and hours of screen time or look at an iPad at dinner, which I would agree with. But to say they won't have it at all full stop and to disagree with them doing it at school is a massive discredit to them.

No parent will think you're a better parent for banning any kind of screens.

School age, no screens during the school week. They do not own or use iPhones or iPads.

However:

• we watch a film together every 1-2 weeks
• occasionally during the holidays/weekends, they get 30min
• they get unlimited screen time on flights —to shut them up—
• I have been showing my older one how to type a document

Screens are an amazing resource that they will begin to use more and more - but they do take time away from mooching, being bored, interacting with one another, and reading books.

I want my kids to be tech savvy and good with computers.
I want my kids to be entertained by films and tv.

But I also want them to learn how to amuse themselves, to discover ‘slow’ fun like books and games etc, to discover balance. I think social media is addictive and much of screen time is thoughtless and mind numbing. I want them to grow up to be picky about their screen time.

I don’t think “tech” in itself has educational or developmental value. You can use it to access amazing educational resources, but you can also zone out and play stupid games for a while. OP, is that so awful to do once in a while?

My kids do everything you mentioned and frankly a lot more active stuff but on a Sunday morning I have no problem with them zoning out with a tablet. And we all look forward to family Friday movie nights. Plus screens are a lifesaver on long haul flights, which we do a lot bc our family is abroad. My kids also need tech access in yr 1 to do maths HW and in Yr 3 to do French HW (languagenut), plus they often need to use school-recommended websites to research a topic for a presentation/project.

My kids are very curious, as I think most are, and finding information about their questions can spark really great conversations. They ask things like what’s the difference between germs and viruses; why do magnets attract; which teams were promoted to the premier league in 2014; how do I learn to sew? Can you answer all of these, @Sunshinegirl82, do you go to the library, or do your kids just not ask?

We would never let our kids use screens on a playdate, at a restaurant, or anywhere in public unless they are looking up bus arrival times or a map. They are quite proud to navigate us to our destination just using Google maps without asking it for directions.

I would argue that looking up questions, using maps, learning to code, etc., is enriching, but my kids also sometimes just play stupid games. In that case I look at it like junk food. It has little, if any, benefit for my children, but they enjoy it. And I like making them happy. (I splurge occasionally myself with both sweets and the Internet so I understand.) So we have it in moderation, along with primarily healthy foods. Do your kids never have junk food, OP? Do you never let them just do something because it’s fun??

I think it’s fjne to do whatever works for you. But why did you start a thread about it? As a parent who is further down the line than you I would strongly recommend taking off your judgy pants because you have no idea what other people’s lives are like or how your kids will change as they get older.

I think OP started the thread so she could find people who parent in a similar way and can offer her advice about how they find it as children get older. I didn’t find the OP judgey at all.

Our kids get sent home with educational apps from school, Maths and English and I can’t see more benefit in them than reading together and asking comprehension questions or sitting and playing real world maths games. In fact they then cause a load of debate about who has the most screen time. Our eldest DS has a laptop to type as he can’t write. Obviously it is vital for him but it is a nightmare in terms of procrastination and means we have to constantly monitor.

There are so many stories from fellow school parents about children accessing material they shouldn’t so it’s not tricky to understand why people might be wary.

I don’t really understand the strength of feeling against OP. She’s not trying to convert other people, she’s just asking a valid question.

@yellowish did you mean to tag me? If so I'm not against screens (I said in my post that I don't really have an active limit) so I kind of agree with you!

We do go to the library as well as DS lives books and it's a good change of scene!

Mine don't have screens (although watch TV) nd my eldest DC is 8. When they get older I'll let them have a playstation/xbox whatever to play with friends but hopefully can delay that a bit.
I think it depends how you moderate access to screens that matters. We were at a family wedding recently, loads of kids there. Almost all with ipads, sitting separately. None up dancing or playing. Also my DN never leaves the house without his ipad, in the car, at parties everywhere since before he could walk! Quite sad really.

Search on the OP’s name

She is never bloody off mumsnet

I think the problem when something is off limits is it becomes more tantalising, as and when they do have access to screens, be it as teenagers or young adults, I think they're more likely to develop an unhealthy relationship due to being "banned" previously, a bit like has been seen with treat foods. This is speculation of course. With my own children they used to badger to go on our ipads ALL THE TIME, they have their own now (our old ones) and I can;t remember the last time I saw them on them? Genuinely. I think self regulation is important, although that said they're not allowed school nights and limited time weekends so they're not completely self regulated, but I've noticed now they have access to their own and they know they can go on it they don't pine after it so much.

Plus it's the way of our world, I often wonder when reading became more widespread if there were social concerns about the impact of reading fiction.

I like screens - my kids have their own kindles where they can freely download books and audiobooks from the library, play ttrockstars - ds who has a mild learning difficulty learned his tables inside out - send emails to each other and discover music via Spotify.

What I don’t like is social media and online gaming - and I will be restricting access to that for as long as possible.

We are all doing what we think is right for our own children.

I didn’t have much technology growing up but I’m able to use it now and even build my own computers 😂

So I don’t think the OP needs to buy the idea that sitting on YouTube for hours is going to put her children ahead.

My dcs don’t have their own screens but they do have access to screens. It is a huge social benefit for them - talking to friends about games etc.

However it’s only one dimension. They also do sport, read books, do (bloody messy) crafts as well.

what a load of self-righteous drivel

SwishSwishSwish - I agree!