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Original poster

Does anyone else have no tablets/iPads/screens etc for their children?

249 replies

WellErrr · 04/07/2019 13:13

Mine haven’t had screens, ever. And they won’t be until they can buy their own.
However - as they’re getting older, more and more people are pressuring me to get them. Apparently they need them for educational purposes and to not be the odd one out at school. I don’t agree.

But then I got thinking - I don’t know any other children without them. Is there anyone else out there with screen-free children??

OP posts:
Benes · 04/07/2019 15:37

I have no objections to screens and my DS is thriving too. I'm an academic in an education faculty and I'm familiar with the research and still have no issue with screen time providing it's not at the expense of other activities.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 04/07/2019 15:41

Mine have had online homework since the age of 4.

They have a tablet (Amazon Fire) each but I can't remember the last time they used them... Not for a few weeks. They are too busy playing. If they ask they can have half an hour or so.

I had three extra 8year olds for a sleepover last week, 24hrs, and none of them asked for technology.

ComeAndDance · 04/07/2019 15:52

Actually teens do socialise through a screen.

Teenagers, not young children. It’s a totally different ball park.
And they don’t socialise. They keep in touch, organise meet ups etc..
But socialising doesn’t happen through a screen, it happens face to face.
Unless you also consider MN as socialising too. I don’t.

Whoops75 · 04/07/2019 16:00

7,4 & 3 Hmm

my 9 yr old doesn’t have a screen of her own. It’s easy to limit them until they become teens.

You’re post is a bit premature? You’re not that different to lots of people at the moment.

MarshaBradyo · 04/07/2019 16:04

Teens do chat via WhatsApp, I do too so I don’t have a problem with a 14 year old chatting to friends that way

I also think the op is a bit early to worry

When they have to do homework on a laptop as a teen op, will you tell them to turn it off when they are finished? You might need to sit with them if so

PopcornZoo · 04/07/2019 16:06

The world only changes if we want it to mumoocow. It's not inevitable.

DaisyChains6 · 04/07/2019 16:06

@mummoomoocow yes mine are like that. Love their screens etc and are also working to greater depth at school. They can also socialize well and do many activities.

To the contrary, my step ds who is 9 and lives with his mum, wasn't allowed screens when I met my dp 4 years ago and played with lots of toys etc. Over the past 18 months he's been allowed very limited screen time at home but when he comes to us it's the first thing he asks for and almost craves it and doesn't like coming off when told. If we go out he gets bored very easily and wants to go on an ipad, like he needs his fix before he goes home. It's a complete forbidden fruit for him!

InDubiousBattle · 04/07/2019 16:08

I don't think I've hindered my dd by not giving her a tablet, she's starting reception in September. I bet you could survey every primary teacher in the country and ask for their top 50 issues/problems and 'children are coming into reception unfamiliar with technology ' wouldn't be among them. I could be wrong but I doubt it's much of a problem at op's kids age.

DaisyChains6 · 04/07/2019 16:15

Popcorn, the world will change whether we want it to/like it or not.

Lots and lots of companies are moving over to online ordering systems and use technology now, especially as lots are trying to cut down on the amount of paperwork and paper filing they do.

There's a vast difference between training an existing employee who didn't do tech at school or as a younger adult to wanting to hire someone brand new who is a tech novice when there are 10 other applicants who can use technology.

It's a very good thing to have on your CV for a lot of jobs, especially for the currant generation going through the schools at the moment.

It is also important they understand how to stay safe online. A naive 13 year old who is never allowed screens at home is at far greater risk when accessing technology elsewhere because they aren't being educated on how to stay safe online.

MarianneM · 04/07/2019 16:22

My daughters don't have any screens of their own, and they never will until they earn their own money (if they wish to at that point) - I have made this clear to them from the start, consistently and am prepared to have any number of battles if need be later on.

I let them watch programmes on our laptop from time to time, and they use the laptop for homework.

I think their personalities and attention span are very different to many of their peers as a result - they have patience and are able to concentrate, they are very imaginative and their individuality is often commented on. Someone recently described them as 'ethereal'.

My reasons are that I think it is genuinely harmful for children to be exposed to screens so much, it creates a need for constant artificial stimuli and gives people short attention spans - everything has to be bite-sized and instantly 'grabbing' (have you noticed how dumbed down and formulaic most films are now, both for adults and children?) I am very against social media which created a false image of what life is like: it creates anxiety, encourages FOMO, enables bullying, it is detrimental to children's self- and body image etc.

Interesting

mytittifersungtheirsong · 04/07/2019 16:23

Why do you have to be so black and white about it OP? DD 6 has some screen time every day. She also plays outside, has play dates without screen time and never has the screen if we're out in a restaurant (I bring colouring books).

The two aren't mutually exclusive you know and I do think you are coming across as a bit judgey saying that kids with screen time are overweight and don't go outside!

BillieEilish · 04/07/2019 16:27

7,4 and 3! Grin Who gives a 3 or 4 year old an ipad FFS?

Well no, of course not! But by 9, at my DD's school they had to rent or buy an ipad. Everything, including communications from school and exam reaults and books and homework was downloaded on that. Everything.

… or if she was your DD, she wouldn't be permitted in school.

Up to you OP but you sound a little previous and misguided.

PopcornZoo · 04/07/2019 16:27

Yes, of course DaisyChains but companies are made up of people, so all I am saying is that people are in control of "tech" so it is up to humanity to decide if we want to live in a world dominates by technology. If we don't buy tablets (for example) nobody is going to make them.

And yes of course by the time you are looking for a job you need to be computer literate, but I see no need to buy my three year old one of those battery operated plastic cars so that he will find it easier to pass his driving test a 17, iyswim.

And, yes, I am on a tablet atm!

PopcornZoo · 04/07/2019 16:30

Billie I don't think you can deny a child a place at school because the parents won't spend money on "tech".

DaisyChains6 · 04/07/2019 16:33

Mine didn't have technology at 3 either. My post was referring to the OP who said her dc won't be getting screens until they are old enough to buy it themselves. This would put her dc at a disadvantage.

Businesses won't stop using technology just because people don't buy an ipad. They use it to save time and money and use less paper.

Technology is a great asset to alot of work places. How much easier is it to book an appointment online at your convenience rather than waiting on the phone for ages. How much easier is email compared to posting letters. How much time is saved when things can automatically log onto a system rather than waiting for the paperwork to arrive in the post and having to manually log it.

Original poster
WellErrr · 04/07/2019 16:34

7,4 and 3! grin Who gives a 3 or 4 year old an ipad FFS?

I don’t know any 3 and 4 year olds who don’t regularly use an iPad or tablet.

OP posts:
PerspicaciaTick · 04/07/2019 16:35

It isn't as though it is a straight choice between "active outdoor childhood" and "solitary childhood staring at a screen in a darkened room".
Most parents are capable of supporting their children across a variety of activities, mixing the benefits of outdoor independence with the benefits of using contemporary technology. They find the balance that works for them and their family.
Banning stuff in order to avoid having to deal with the day-to-day parenting decisions it brings seems a little, um not sure of the right word, selfish? lazy? inflexible?

caughtinanet · 04/07/2019 16:36

I and millions of others grew up in a pre-internet/device world and yet we are all able to fully function in the world now. I don't agree with the argument that online skills need to be learned at toddlers.

In fact my general online skills are better and more comprehensive than my DCs

PopcornZoo · 04/07/2019 16:37

As parents we ban a lot of things !

BillieEilish · 04/07/2019 16:40

Popcorn We live in Spain and you ARE denied access to school without an ipad. Same price as buying text books, pens, paper, reading books, dictionaries etc.

Very cheap to rent one from school. So you can think what you want!
But that is the case from 9 upwards in any school.

FudgeBrownie2019 · 04/07/2019 16:42

I don’t know what coding is. I’m ok.

85% of today's children will grow up to do jobs which haven't been invented yet. I'm going to hazard that a sizeable proportion of those jobs will be tech-related. You may not need coding, but your children likely will.

Balancing tech with everything else life has to offer has been the right choice for our DC. They are sporty, fit and active, both have a wide variety of interests and both also love the xbox. We eat out with friends and family often and both are perfectly fine with or without technology and screens. But I don't believe an absolute ban is going to help prepare them for their lives any more than unlimited access to screens would help them.

BillieEilish · 04/07/2019 16:42

I don't know ant 3 or 4 year olds that don't regularly use and ipad or tablet

OK then... we move in different circles.

Danglingmod · 04/07/2019 16:43

It is slightly hilarious to think that children as young as three NEED technology to keep up with the world or their education or whatever.

Most kids have absolutely terrible actual computer or research or technology skills. Far worse than the average adult (including people 60+). They just know how to swipe or open things, not a great deal more.

I work in a secondary school. The kids do not have better IT skills than the staff.

BillieEilish · 04/07/2019 16:44

3 and 4 year olds NO. 9 year olds certainly yes.

DaisyChains6 · 04/07/2019 16:45

Because it is excepted that adults now didn't all grow up in a world full of technology. One day most adults will have grown up with it so employers will more likely take on those who know what they are doing rather than not.

Yes your dc could learn as an adult but they will have to do so in their own time and possibly expense. Why do that when they can learn now and be a head of the game Confused

It sounds like those people who say "we didn't have all this in our day" when referring to things which have vastly improved peoples time management, safety or costs.