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Original poster

Does anyone else have no tablets/iPads/screens etc for their children?

249 replies

WellErrr · 04/07/2019 13:13

Mine haven’t had screens, ever. And they won’t be until they can buy their own.
However - as they’re getting older, more and more people are pressuring me to get them. Apparently they need them for educational purposes and to not be the odd one out at school. I don’t agree.

But then I got thinking - I don’t know any other children without them. Is there anyone else out there with screen-free children??

OP posts:
Original poster
WellErrr · 04/07/2019 14:03

They go on iPads at school. I’d rather they didn’t.

I remember watching a video last year showing an experiment with toddlers who had regular exposure to a tablet vs ones who did not. The ones who did had superior motor skills, just saying.

In English schools, children start reading and writing at a very young age. In Scandinavian schools, they don’t start until around 7. If you tested year ones from both countries, the English ones would be far ahead.
However, once they start, the Scandinavian children ‘catch up’ quickly and very soon surpass the English children.

Being ‘ahead’ at something at toddler age isn’t always beneficial or necessary.

OP posts:
CitadelsofScience · 04/07/2019 14:07

You might find your children really struggle in secondary school, sixth form and university without access to laptops etc.

My dd had to access all homework on a laptop from about age 8.

MarshaBradyo · 04/07/2019 14:07

They are good for learning stuff, if your child is motivated, but probably older than 7. Just going by Ds who is very curious and keen - others are probably different

3 and 4 fine not to have it

MarshaBradyo · 04/07/2019 14:09

He does still entertain himself very well though so hasn’t ruined that

I do think they can be addictive for little children though so no rush

Lazysundays18 · 04/07/2019 14:10

I think you should reconsider when they go to high school. Being the odd one out and being excluded from social groups (who often have group chats etc) can be quite difficult for children. I agree with limiting screen time. My son is only 3 so perhaps not relevant but he loves being outdoors & is out in all weather. He also loves a jigsaw & playmobil... and the odd episode of paw patrol.

It's all about balance.

Lazysundays18 · 04/07/2019 14:12

@WellErrr also, do you think they resent you for it or are they quite happy? If they're not bothered, then there's no issue really.

Tidypidy · 04/07/2019 14:12

My dc are 12,10 and 6. We have 1 iPad which is password protected and a laptop. Our dc ask permission to use either and get about 20mins each a day on one or the other. Oldest dc has a phone and uses laptop for homework. We too have been under pressure to give them each a tablet. We just say no thank you! They don't need it. We are in the minority amongst our friends in this. They can all use a laptop and tablet efficiently so will not be "left behind".

Original poster
WellErrr · 04/07/2019 14:13

@WellErrr also, do you think they resent you for it or are they quite happy? If they're not bothered, then there's no issue really.

No they’re very happy. They haven’t asked for one. It’s other people who tell me they NEED one in order to develop properly.

OP posts:
Original poster
WellErrr · 04/07/2019 14:14

I’m surprised that people think it’s so strange tbh.

OP posts:
MarshaBradyo · 04/07/2019 14:14

At those ages no they don’t they’ll be fine

Foxglove18 · 04/07/2019 14:16

We don’t have a TV in the house. I have a laptop that is rarely switched on, we use an iPad for watching Netflix etc - Usually once DS is in bed but we do watch the odd Disney song or bit of Mr Tumble on YouTube for distraction! Despite what I think is minimal exposure to technology, at 10 months old he still smiles on cue when he sees a phone come out and knows how to scroll on a touchscreen. In this day and age, it is virtually impossible for children not to be hugely influenced by digital media. As DS gets older we will introduce more iPad/computer time (although I’m not convinced he should have his own) as I think it’s so important that kids are taught to be whatever the internet version of streetwise is!

negomi90 · 04/07/2019 14:16

I spent my childhood happily curled up with sedentary activities (books). I honestly don't think there's much difference. Everything in moderation.
And by 11, children in this country do need screens for homework and often to socialise with their friends. Banning screens on your principles at the expense of your child's social life isn't ok.
I wouldn't expect an 11 year old to pay for one.

SweetJasmine17 · 04/07/2019 14:19

@WellErrr

No child in the world would rather be on an iPad than outside having a water-fight or going the farm or park.
Your youngest probably don't need it but there's nothing wrong with a bit of SC for your 7yo.

Just limit how much time they have and watch what they're doing.

coconuttelegraph · 04/07/2019 14:19

My DC have so far managed to get through schools with very litle need for screens at home, we have them but not having them wouldn't hinder their school work much.

Maye the schools in my area are behind with this but homework isn't done online for my DC

JacquesHammer · 04/07/2019 14:24

I may be accused of being smug for this (I certainly don’t mean to be!) but my children play for hours with models, playmobil, cars etc, making little worlds, or playing outside in the garden

Why do you think it’s an either/or situation?

Incidentally some of those activities you listed are also “sitting still”....

dreichuplands · 04/07/2019 14:25

My dc need some screens for homework.
Age 11 more of their out of school socializing is done with screens, either FaceTime or group chat etc.
They have some limits on it but usually banning something altogether can just make it really desirable.
My family had no tv for a while after I left home, dm was thoroughly impressed by her good parenting. Siblings just found mixing with other dc that much harder.

ILiveInSalemsLot · 04/07/2019 14:31

I’m really strict with gaming (weekends only) rather than screens in general.
Mine are at secondary school and they’re doing well because of YouTube, duolingo and bbcbitesize as well as other on line resources.
Ds2 loves coding and they prefer to write stories on Word rather than on paper.
I think it’s probably hard to do well at secondary school without screens.

Tsubasa1 · 04/07/2019 14:31

I'm with you!!! I also don't know anyone who has banned screens for their kids. My three year old is only allowed limited TV time. There are lots of studies coming out now that show the dangers of tablets and gadgets, but I feel most parents chose to ignore them. Here is one such study explained in the daily mail www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-6932181/amp/Two-hours-screen-time-makes-children-badly-behaved.html
I dont know many children in my immediate circle who can sit through a meal without staring at a phone or tablet. It really saddens me. When a kid comes to play with my daughter they get given a screen after a while by their parents and they stop playing with her. TV is bad and addictive enough let alone to bring anything else into the equation. I dont plan on giving my kids a laptop or letting them access one until they are older. I know that even if they never use one until they are 20 they will learn super quickly how to use one. Our generation is tech savy, even those who didnt have computers and phones growing up. I dont see why people think young kids wont be tech savy if they arent given those things at a young age.

InDubiousBattle · 04/07/2019 14:31

Well your kids are still very little so they don't really need them at their age. My almost 4 year old wouldn't even think to ask to go on one I don't think. I was quite surprised recently when 4 or 5 of my ds's reception age class said that 'playing Fortnite' was their favourite thing to do though.

Raaaaaah · 04/07/2019 14:34

Good on you OP. My children have screen time but I will be honest and say it is, by and large to buy me a bit of quiet time. I definitely notice that when I don’t allow them for a few days then they become better at playing constructively by themselves. I am sure that there are other parents out there with similar resolve but they probably aren’t looking at Mumsnet on a screen Grin. Have you googled Courtney Adamo and screen time. She has 5 kids including teens and they don’t have screens.

MarshaBradyo · 04/07/2019 14:37

Although CA puts them on a screen so not that great. Zero digital footprint even better if you’re gunning for that.

Op at what age will you say yes to watching a movie at home, say. Do you have a tv?

Raaaaaah · 04/07/2019 14:39

Not saying I necessarily agree with CA’s approach Marsha just that she is an example of older kids with zero screen time. I think that they are quite hard to find.

MarshaBradyo · 04/07/2019 14:41

I wonder if it’s harder in the Uk, do all secondary schools use screens / laptops for homework?

JacquesHammer · 04/07/2019 14:43

I wonder if it’s harder in the Uk, do all secondary schools use screens / laptops for homework?

At DD’s they have to take a netbook to school every day.

PopcornZoo · 04/07/2019 14:45

Mine don't have their own, but use the family tablet and computer sometimes. I'm happy for them to do that. They enjoy that. But of course it's not necessary.

A lot of parents on here didn't use tablets or computers, or mobile phones growing up and you're managing to use them fine now (aren't you?).

I can't see how they are any educational benefits of using "tech" compared to "traditional" methods. But parents and teachers can be less involved in the children's learning when using "tech".

Getting them "tech" so that they don't feel left out is not a good reason, you can't always get everything everyone else has got. Just because shops sell things it doesn't mean we have to buy them.

(Also, if you do a Computer Science GCSE you don't actually use a computer, it's all on paper!)