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Original poster

Does anyone else have no tablets/iPads/screens etc for their children?

249 replies

WellErrr · 04/07/2019 13:13

Mine haven’t had screens, ever. And they won’t be until they can buy their own.
However - as they’re getting older, more and more people are pressuring me to get them. Apparently they need them for educational purposes and to not be the odd one out at school. I don’t agree.

But then I got thinking - I don’t know any other children without them. Is there anyone else out there with screen-free children??

OP posts:
MarshaBradyo · 04/07/2019 14:45

That’s more than Ds but he has to do all homework on a laptop

It makes does make it pretty much impossible then, unless you watch all the time and switch off when they’re done

I don’t mind him coding, and games he gets limited time

Original poster
WellErrr · 04/07/2019 14:46

I dont know many children in my immediate circle who can sit through a meal without staring at a phone or tablet. It really saddens me. When a kid comes to play with my daughter they get given a screen after a while by their parents and they stop playing with her

Same here. It is sad.

OP posts:
Original poster
WellErrr · 04/07/2019 14:46

We do have a tv but none of us watch it much. It’s never on as background noise like a lot of people seem to do.

OP posts:
lovelylondonsky · 04/07/2019 14:48

I don't restrict DD8's screen time and she has about an hour a day I'd say, mix of YouTube and Netflix.

She also does gymnastics, swims, plays cricket, is obsessed with crafts and playing the keyboard. I don't see why it has to be an either or situation and in 2019 I'd go as far as to say no screen time whatsoever is going to disadvantage children against their peers when let's face it, they're going to have to navigate technology everywhere in their lives. Let them be natives to it I think.

Benes · 04/07/2019 14:48

I think you'll find it's parents that are the problem not the tablets!
Moderation is key. It's important that children develop IT skills from a young age. My DS's pre-school uses tablets to enhance learning not replace active , physical activities.

Orangecake123 · 04/07/2019 14:48

You don't have to listen to them. My mother only gave my younger sister a phone now at the age of 16. I would also follow the no screen and phone rule for my own children.

CitadelsofScience · 04/07/2019 14:49

Marsha homework in secondary schools are generally on Show my Homework, it's an online resource so they have to have access to the internet so they can complete their homework.

They are also expected to do research that would have been done ina library or a newspaper in days gone by.

Sobeyondthehills · 04/07/2019 14:50

DS is 7 and while I didn't limit screens, he didn't pay much attention to them till about 6 months ago, when I let him use my laptop for a few hours a week

I have had to limited them now, after finding him at 4am trying to figure out the password on my laptop.

I do wonder whether he is so obsessed now is because he didn't get them early on. I am not sure, either way, he still plays outside, goes to the park, plays with lego, can play by himself, read his books, draw. Its just once he is on it, taking him off them will normally result in some type of argument

GoldenNoodle · 04/07/2019 14:54

I grew up in the 80s without a tv. I hated it - it put me on the outside of many of the games and conversations that the other kids were having. My knowledge of popular culture and 'in-jokes' was limited and I was always the odd one out. In the end, I stopped even telling people I didn't have a tv because they teased me for it.

I think moderation is best.

Booboostwo · 04/07/2019 14:54

You are severely limiting your children.

Developing manual dexterity, negotiating the internet safely, getting support with learning, straight forward learning, learning to coding and opportunities to socialise are some of the things they are missing out on.

Booboostwo · 04/07/2019 14:55

Not to mention the irony that you are in front of a screen, posting on an online forum...

Aragog · 04/07/2019 14:58

Yes they have them at school. I’d rather they didn’t.

So you'd rather they did no computing at school? And no use of the IWB for working as a class? No use of some of the very good education sites and Cicero's?

GoldenNoodle · 04/07/2019 14:58

Also, Sobeyondthehills makes a really good point - once I was at university and in a house with a tv, I found it impossible to self-moderate! I have also noticed this with kids who are banned completely from sugar.

ComeAndDance · 04/07/2019 15:00

I’ve done that with my dcs when they were that age.
We also didn’t (and still don’t) have a tv.

The reality is that having no screens at all was an issue for them socially. Just as much as I really didn’t want them to have one and only for very short time on simple stuff like a DS (does that still exist?), at some point I had to give in.
So we bought an Xbox when Dc1 was in Y4.

And then they strayed secondary and they had to have an iPad for school.... they birth themselves a phone and that was it.

I completely get where your are coming from but my advice would be to be very careful of the impact it has on them socially. I haven’t seen any play date where children didn’t spend most of their time on a screen. And children were avoiding coming BECAUSE there was no screens at home... :(

DonkeyHohtay · 04/07/2019 15:01

Aren't you an a-may-zing parent!!! Gold star for keeping your precious pickles away from nasty, evil, mind rotting tech!!

You're SO much better than everyone else. Here's the perfect parent award.

(Because that's exactly what OP wants from this thread)

GrassIsntGreener · 04/07/2019 15:01

I'm sorry. I understand you're trying to do the right thing but as a parent and someone who works with children, I very much disagree with a zero screen rule. They'll find it so difficult when they come to do programming work - computing and programming is on the curriculum now. They'll inevitably be disadvantaged in a class of 30 other children who are experienced with the basics of competing. Also, how are they to know, understand and appreciate the dangers of the internet if they're not exposed now and have supervised experience to build up their knowledge?

Original poster
WellErrr · 04/07/2019 15:01

You are severely limiting your children.

Developing manual dexterity,

Was there no manual dexterity before tablets then?
The older two play the piano.
They all do a variety of crafts including bead and needlework.
The older two can put a horse’s tack on properly, including fiddly buckles.
The 7 year old can use basic tools to make things from wood, including hammering nails etc.
The girls can do their own hair.
They can plant seeds and move seedlings.
I could go on.

I’d say their manual dexterity is just fine without moving a figure on screen back and forth 400 times a day to beat Joe from down the road’s score.

negotiating the internet safely,

Children shouldn’t be on the internet unsupervised, therefore moot point.

getting support with learning,

Such as? I support them with learning. Oldest is a year ahead of where he should be.

straight forward learning,

Again.....?

learning to coding

I don’t know what coding is. I’m ok.

opportunities to socialise

They socialise every day. Like, actually socialising rather than typing to strangers.

Any more?

OP posts:
buttertoasty · 04/07/2019 15:03

Everything is done electronically nowadays and getting more and more so. When they start secondary school they will be behind their peers in terms of ability with computers. The days of pen and paper are gone.

Sorry I know you don't like it but the world is changing.

Original poster
WellErrr · 04/07/2019 15:03

Not to mention the irony that you are in front of a screen, posting on an online forum...

I’m an adult. I don’t live in a tree off-grid but I don’t go online loads.

There’s loads of things I do that I don’t think the children should do yet.

OP posts:
PopcornZoo · 04/07/2019 15:05

"Developing manual dexterity, negotiating the internet safely, getting support with learning, straight forward learning, learning to coding and opportunities to socialise are some of the things they are missing out on."

Honestly, you don't need screens at that age to do those things.

buttertoasty · 04/07/2019 15:05

Children shouldn’t be on the internet unsupervised, therefore moot point

But they will be in a few years time when they are teenagers. And even adults do silly things on the internet, my DM for example got caught up in a pension scam.

Original poster
WellErrr · 04/07/2019 15:05

So you'd rather they did no computing at school? And no use of the IWB for working as a class? No use of some of the very good education sites and Cicero's?

Not none. I just think they’d be better off with someone listening to them read and helping them rather than handing them an iPad and letting them get on with it.

OP posts:
ComeAndDance · 04/07/2019 15:05

Btw my experience is telling me that

  • not having screen didn’t impede them whatsoever ever. Not in their dexterity, ability to use electronics etc...
  • they can negotiate the Internet etc... i mean I grew up wo the Internet and learnt to use it wo any problem at all. Same with an iPad, a telephone etc etc You dint need to start using the internet when you are 2yo to know how to use it as a teen or an adult.
  • they can self regulate as well as any other teenager.

None of that would worry me.

DonkeyHohtay · 04/07/2019 15:06

Banning everything outright is silly. But let's see if OP is still on her high horse when her 7 year old is 12 and at senior school, needing lap top to do homework or a phone to keep up with the group WhatsApp chat.

Or maybe OP just fears she is too weak to set limits and rules, just as the rest of us do?

Original poster
WellErrr · 04/07/2019 15:07

Wow Donkey, are you ok?

OP posts: