Does anyone else have no tablets/iPads/screens etc for their children?

[WellErrr]

Mine haven’t had screens, ever. And they won’t be until they can buy their own.
However - as they’re getting older, more and more people are pressuring me to get them. Apparently they need them for educational purposes and to not be the odd one out at school. I don’t agree.

But then I got thinking - I don’t know any other children without them. Is there anyone else out there with screen-free children??

"I haven’t seen any play date where children didn’t spend most of their time on a screen."

And we have virtually no playdates where children spend time on screens.

Thanks ComeandDance

You’re bizarrely unable to grasp that it doesn’t have to be only tech or no tech

There are plenty of ways to embrace both worlds safely and beneficially to the child.

I have to say I’m at the idea that being in the Internet gives children the opportunity to socialise. You dint socialise through a screen.

But I do agree that because very few children have no screen at all at home, it is an obstacle for them to have friends coming over. Just not cool enough unfortunately

DC (age 7 and 2) don't have devices of their own, but they do use them.

7 year old watches some TV. It's generally on for 20-30 minutes when she gets in from school. Some evenings or weekends we'll watch a film as a family.

She gets some homework using Education City or Purple Mash. Not every week, but often enough that it would be very inconvenient if we didn't have a laptop she could use.

She has books on my kindle. It's hard to find physical books in DH's language in the UK and expensive to ship them, so ebooks are excellent. She also Skypes her cousins. As a bilingual multinational family, screens are invaluable for this type of thing!

She also loves lego, dolls, football, cycling, painting, going to the park, etc. I don't know any kids who only ever play with tablets.

My objections to them are mainly that they promote sitting still and being boring rather than getting outside and enjoying life.
I was a chubby little bookworm. When I was at primary school I would try and hide inside to read at playtime! Sitting still isn't a new thing!

There is Jacques Hammer but a lot of people on this thread think that it's got to be "tech"! Yes it's possible to use "tech" and still be a well adjusted person, but it's not necessary to use "tech" as much as a lot of children (and adults) do. The benefits aren't as huge as some parents want to believe.

"The days of pen and paper are gone." Really?

But I do agree that because very few children have no screen at all at home, it is an obstacle for them to have friends coming over. Just not cool enough unfortunately

Luckily we live on a farm so kids always want to come round. But yes I can see how it may be a problem otherwise.

@PopcornZoo then you are lucky. Because even in reception, I’ve had comments from parents being surprised that they had spent no time on a screen :(

The benefits aren't as huge as some parents want to believe

For us the benefits have been absolutely huge.

Anecdotally, DD - who has handled tech since she was very small - is far more competent and indeed able to regulate her usage in comparison to her peers from primary who weren’t allowed tech until secondary. I guess it’s “normal every day object” vs “novelty I’m suddenly allowed”.

No we never have tv on as background either, but they might watch a movie with you?

Would never have screens at table or car or play date

But the odd movie at 7 as a family sounds about right to me

You dint socialise through a screen

It’s the opportunity to plan occasions to socialise rather than socialising through the screen.

Fine thanks, just low tolerance levels for the perfect parent brigade arrogantly proclaiming that their children will never have screens, ever.

My DC 11 have only just got phones for moving up to secondary school comeanddance I have been struck by just how much more socialising they have been able to do with their friends. They are part of the year group chats, they can update about what they are doing for their summers, send funny little cartoons to each other.
They do have play dates but they aren't that often and the phones allow them to stay connected.
A sensible balance seems the right way forward. My DC's school has already done quite a bit of Internet safety with DC so your DC OP will become very aware from both other DC and school what they are missing out on.
Even our music teacher recommends metronome apps, abrsm music is accessed via the Internet. It is just modern life for DC.

You are putting them to a disadvantage to some respect because technology is being used more and more in the work place and will be ever more advanced once they are old enough to be in work.

Being a techno novice isn't really an option for our children nowadays. My dd does a lot of homework on a laptop too.

@GoldenNoodle

Thanks GoldenNoodle, I think because we have landed at the deep end and he had suddenly started to notice his friends are all talking about bendy and the ink machine, xbox, fornight, that he felt left out. We didn't do it on purpose, he was just not that interested and tbh I am not interested in any types of gaming, so it never really clicked with me.

Thankfully DP has an older child and likes his gaming so was already up to date on it, but it became a steep learning curve for me.

As people have said its moderation, but I do think it can be addictive for young minds (and some old minds as well)

Amazon Fire (just the one) for a 6.5 and 4.5yo mainly for older child

My laptop broke over a year ago and I've not got round to replacing it. We've never owned a tablet but both have smart phones.

No way can we afford a proper tablet for the kids (nor for ourselves come to that!!)

my children play for hours with models, playmobil, cars etc, making little worlds

But all of these things are indoor, boring sedentary pursuits, so I don't see how they meet your objection of:

that they promote sitting still and being boring rather than getting outside and enjoying life

You've just replaced one set of things with another - of course I don't actually agree with your basic premise anyway, but if I did, you've not done anything to address it.

Actually teens do socialise through a screen. When I was young it was running up a massive phone bill on the landline as a teen. Now they use messaging apps in groups instead.

"You are putting them to a disadvantage to some respect because technology is being used more and more in the work place and will be ever more advanced once they are old enough to be in work."

Yes I see your point, but the "tech" a child is using now is not likely to be anything like the kind of "tech" they'll be using in the work place in 20 years time. Things change so playing games on your tablet now won't necesarily mean that you will find work easier as an adult. A lot of adults who use "tech" at work now (even programmers etc) didn't use "tech" as children as it didn't exist then.

But all of these things are indoor, boring sedentary pursuits, so I don't see how they meet your objection

No they’re not!! Not indoor, boring OR sedentary. You must be playing all wrong

8 and 5 year old here. They don't have their own tablets, phones or tvs in bedrooms. 8 year old has a laptop which Granny bought her. She watches cbbc on it, does paint etc. Both my kids love TV and watch an hour or so a day. They also play in the garden, on bikes, make things, draw, read daily. As a teacher I disagree they are needed for educational purposes. Far more educational to read together, talk about numbers we can see around us etc. A little screen time doesn't do any harm. Hours and hours unregulated on YouTube in bedrooms in the junior years with no structured bedtime is risky though.

My objections to them are mainly that they promote sitting still and being boring rather than getting outside and enjoying life.

It is only reasonable to continue to have a complete ban on screens after age 7/8/9 if you cannot confidently parent your child to teach them to balance the activities they get involved in. ds(15) has a smart phone/table/games console, but has spent the last week of the school summer holidays (Scotland) out from 11am to 9 or 10pm mostly playing football/at the local park/going to lunch/going to cinema etc with friends. All organised with friends through his tech.

If he has a timed activity planned (gym at 2pm tomorrow, then meeting friends), I have no problem with him chilling out on his console for a few hours between shower, making breakfast, walking dog, making lunch, getting bag ready, emptying dishwasher.

Technology will be a big part of their lives, I was at at conference recently where the presenter told us technology is moving at such a pace, something like >50% of the jobs in the future, that your children might do don't even exist yet. You need to teach them to embrace and use tech to their advantage while taking care of their wellbeing, not completely prohibit it from their lives or you will put them at a disadvantage.

It won't be the same tech no, but it's easier to "upgrade" with the technology you are already used to then start completely from new.

It would be like for instance starting school in year 6 when you're 4 and being expected to know what you are doing instead of progressing from year r to year 6 over a number of years..

I want to know if there’s more parents like me who have no screen objection and children are thriving too? I mean this is a bit silly assuming children are getting fat from tech when children are getting fat from a combination of insane food marketing, poor parenting, full-time working primary care givers, stranger-danger etc

The world changes and people suddenly get so clingy to old ideas

I don't really have a set limit on screen time (DS is only 3) and he will generally say after about 20 mins of YouTube etc that he wants to play with something else and will run off to find his colouring etc.

To my mind it's the same as heavily restricting chocolate/sugar etc. Some (not all by any means but some) will find it difficult to regulate themselves when their access becomes unrestricted. The iPad is just like any other toy to DS, it's not special.

If I felt his screen use was becoming excessive I would be looking to help him learn to limit himself and encourage him to look at other activities.