What's your best fishwife moment? (Lighthearted)

[Noseynails]

This thread is lighthearted
Hi all, I thought it would be funny to share our best fishwife moments.
Mine happened last week. A woman who lives near my parents shouted at my younger brother and his friends (my parents' next door neighbour's great grandchildren), so I ran into my parents' garden, and screamed like a fishwife about phoning the police, and how I was coming over to do what the children won't, and how dare she shout at the children. My parents' neighbour's daughter and granddaughter had been arguing with the woman because of how she spoke to the children, and my parents' neighbour and her other daughter had been standing at their back door to see what had happened, when I stormed out of my parents' back door and into the garden while shouting. (I had been watching from the kitchenette window). My mother almost bodily lifted me took me into the house to calm down. What's your best fishwife moment?

Bump... I am reiterating that this thread is lighthearted.

Blimey. I can't say I've ever had one of those moments. I'd have enjoyed witnessing yours though

I was crossing the road and went to step onto the pavement when a parked car started to reverse to pull out, he hit my leg. I banged my hands really hard on the boot, screamed at him and shouted "that's what rear view mirrors are for" The driver and his passenger both sat staring straight ahead as though I wasn't there. I kicked his car and stormed off.

I love it!!

I raised my voice to someone at work today, first time in my entire career.
A fellow professional had made a mistake that caused real hardship to a dying man. They lied to his wife about it. It was in their power to provide a sort of fix, easily, but they couldn't be bothered. Just didn't give a damn.
I told him I thought he'd behaved atrociously.
I feel bad for doing it but I just saw red.

I had a similar experience to tillytoodles. Crossed the road behind a white van when the numpty driving it decides to reverse. Not sure why. I banged on the back door and screamed at him as I had my toddler with me and my baby in his buggy. Couldn't have got them out of the way in time as the toddler decided this was the perfect time to fall over his own feet.
After I'd screamed at the driver all he said was "I didn't see you."
Well obviously.
This is only topped by the time I called a bad driver out in the Sainsbury's car park. I was heavily pregnant with #1 and could no longer drive so DH and I did an evening grocery shop.
The car park was virtually empty. Lots of space. We start reversing into a space when this nutter zooms diagonally across the car park and screeches to a halt in the spot we were aiming for. Did I mention that the car park was virtually empty? No need to fight over spots.
Anyway I was shaking with rage as he'd nearly hit us and I got out of the car and fave him what for at some volume. He looked actually scared of me, a heavily pregnant woman. All he said was "Oh were you trying to park?" In a car park - no shit Sherlock!
Saw him again in the vegetables aisle - he saw me and ran away.
I'm not normally one to go full fishwife, but when my life is potentially threatened by someone being thick I think it can be forgiven.

About 10!years ago there was a bit of a three way argument between a few close neighbours .
Anyhow I got dragged into it one day and shouted over the fence " you can always hear lots of noise from your house but you never ever hear a hoover "
Still can't believe I said that !

I was busy n stressed then interrupted by the door I opened it and is was a young 18 year old obviously his first job started trying to sell me something- FGS! I snapped "no thanks," and shut,(OK shut it hard) the door heard him go "bitch!" So I reopen the door "who is it you work for again?" Answers me so I scream "right well I'll ring them and tell them u called me a bitch then shall I?' "I didn't" he simpers pathetically reminiscent of my teen when he's lying - slammed the door (again) in his face and stomped off ranting to family how rude all they could say was poor bloke can't believe you did that you're so rude! Hmph

OP, what's a kitchenette? Is it a kitchen?

Another car related one, i was walking, crossing a side road, was almost across when three lads in a car turned into the road like maniacs, cutting the corner on the wrong side of the road, coming straight at me. They slammed on the brakes and stopped inches away! My heart was pounding with fear, I'd leapt back but they would still have hit me if they hadn't stopped so sharply. I shouted that they were fucking idiots, what the fuck did they think they were doing driving so dangerously, idiots! As I walk away I screech "YOU SHOULD BE ARRESTED!". The mildest and most pathetic end to a tirade.

A couple of years ago whilst walking/playing on the beach with dc a dog which was off the lead, and a distance from its owners punctured our football. This was the 3rd ball in a very short space of time that had been lost (1) and punctured (2). I lost it & went full fishwife. The dogs owner coughed up for a new ball!

Screamed "no no no no NOOOO" in a service station car park at elderly and possibly french men. Stopped them reversing at speed in to a car which had stopped behind them though. Thankfully my window as open.

They had been watching me put my daughter in her car seat off to the side and not looked in their rear view mirror.

I don't lose my rag very often but when I do it's usually epic.

Last time was at a cyclist who almost knocked me over by racing up the pavement like a lunatic. He stopped because he couldn't get across the road and I lost it with him.

I should probably name change for this one because it's a bit outing but what the hell.

Driving past the cenotaph shortly after remembrance day a few years ago. I had to stop due to road works and was stuck there for a bit. Realised that a group of kids were trashing the poppy wreaths and again lost it. My poor sister almost got deafened because I screamed at them so loud. She still brings it up every so often. They did skuttle offf looking very shameful though so it was worth it. Iirc I used the phrase godless scum 🙈

I try to keep my Celtic temper under control but when I lose it I fucking lose it. I don’t particularly like myself but I dose out some decent amounts of rough justice from time to time. I feel like the Incredible Hulk sometimes.

The neighbours around here bloody love me it's like a live episode of Shameless the way I screech at DS for scooting around on his bike, come ere yer little beggar etc, except they have no idea what shameless is, so maybe I'm no fish wife to them?

OP, what's a kitchenette? Is it a kitchen?

^^

A kitchen I guess. Or op is actually French

A kitchenette is like what you get in a studio flat... Not a full, separate kitchen iyswim.

Once in a busy car park there was a horrendous traffic jam, and I became irritated. Newly entering cars were stuck and exiting cars were stuck all because one person had pulled out of their space instead of just waiting for a few cars to flow past. I’m sure they felt justified in pulling out and maybe they didn’t mean to block traffic both ways but they just sat there. I got out of my car and shouted and gesticulated for them to just reverse back into the space. Literally five seconds later the flow of traffic was moving and about 50 cars just moved where they wanted to, including this one car. It was like they thought ‘I can’t get out so no one else is’. I felt like everyone was applauding me as I got back in my car!

Crossed the road behind a white van when the numpty driving it decides to reverse

As someone who has driven a van, not enough people are aware that, unless there are windows in the back doors, behind the van is a total blind spot. It is impossible to see there. My recommendation is to not walk behind one because even the most careful driver that has checked both mirrors can't see all the way around the van.

I was cycling on a cycle path which is not meant for pedestrians, no pedestrian path beside it, purely for bikes so you get up quite a speed and while I always look out for obstacles, I enjoy being able to go fast.

Old geezer is standing there sipping coffee with his friends in the middle of the path, cery hard for me to manoeuvre around as it's down hill and there were bollards. Ding my bell, start yelling "bike bike bike", the fucker doesn't even look. Manage to avoid him, get off my bike and start screaming about how we could have both been killed/injured. He just goggles at me, I don't think he even realised I had almost hit him.

I live near a busy junction and my DH is certain I'm getting a reputation as a screeching woman around there.
Basically, heavy flow of traffic on to a high street, three lanes become one and there is also a busy bus stop.
The pedestrian crossing (traffic light controlled) is just after a yellow box so drivers always block the crossing if it means they can get out of the yellow box.
Trying to negotiate that crossing with a buggy is horrendous and would be impossible in a wheelchair because of all the zigzagging around cars. If it's buses or lorries blocking it, you literally can't get across.
I shout there. A lot. Lots of "CAN YOU NOT SEE IT'S A GREEN MAN?!???!" "I HAVE RIGHT OF WAY" and quite often to buses "YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER".
Most drivers are red faced and will apologise, but bus drivers literally don't care.
It's honestly a death trap and I wish they'd just extend the yellow box right to the edge of the crossing.

I yelled at the bloke who parked across our driveway every Weds evening when he dropped his kids back to their mum. I was sick of it as it always coincided with DH bringing the kids back from swimming / bedtime and stopped him from getting onto our drive.

I can't remember what I said though. But he's not done it very much since at all!

Oh, and I yelled at her too for the same reason. We'd got back home with the kids who were about 4 months and 17 months at the time and it was chucking it down. She'd blocked our drive so we couldn't get near to the house to get the kids in quickly. DH went to her house and knocked once but she didn't answer. While he was getting the kids in the house, I went across and hammered on her door until she answered. She said that her daughter had been locked out so she'd parked there while she'd sorted it (but then she'd just left it, obviously!). She's not done it since either.

So, parking inconsiderately across my drive is my fishwife tipping point! 🙈😂

Thing is, she has a drive and space outside her house, but they're ALWAYS parking across people's drives. The man next door told DH that it's driving him mad every Weds as he's now the victim. They block him in mostly.

Some guy smashed into us on the M18, and when we all pulled up on the hard shoulder, I fucking flew at him, screaming about how there are four kids in my car and he could have killed us. I'm 5ft tall and he was a big bloke, but he was very apologetic!

@birthdaykake - less fishwife, more perfectly justified flying off the handle. I think I'd find it very hard not to swing for someone who put my DC in danger.

Last Christmas a guy beeped his horn and did ‘angry mime’ at me - actually shook his fist- for parking on the road outside my own house because there was a skip on my drive.

Someone had double parked across from me, which was of no consequence to him as it’s a massive wide road. It just meant he had to steer a bit and slow down. I had just got into my car, so he made his distaste at having to actually do some driving very clear.

What he didn’t expect was me seeing red and following him home - which was a bit of a shock to use both, especially when I discovered he lives about 300 yards away, round the corner. I wound my window down and the following exchange ensued:

Me - you got a problem?

Him: apoplectic) yes! You don’t use your drive properly! Selfish! You’ve always got the builders in!

Me: Oh right. I’ll make sure to ask your permission before I get any more work done on my house, shall I?

Him: (literally hopping up and down and waving his fists) YES! You do that!

Me: Uh huh. Merry Christmas.

Him: AND YOU

Lamest exchange ever. I still flick surreptitious Vs when I walk past his house