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Original poster

Husbands inheritance in our property

91 replies

Mexico30 · 23/06/2019 18:26

Hi,
This may be long so I apologise!

Basically, my husband and I have been married 6 years, together for 10. I moved in to his house (he lived with his dad) 9 years ago with my 2 year old daughter (from a previous relationship) and his dad moved out. We then paid him rent. Everything was split 50/50 rent and bills wise. We had our son in 2012, married in 2013 and bought the same house from his dad in 2014.

Now, his dad sold it to us £20k below what it was valued for so as we could extend it. We were going to pay him an extra £5k after 2 years. Sadly he passed away in 2015 very suddenly and my husband was left quite a bit as inheritance. We then went on to extend upstairs in 2016.

Fast forward to now and we have sold this house, ready to buy a new one and my husband has now said, out of the blue, he would like something written down officially to say he paid for the work on this house with his inheritance so it's not affected if we ever separate. What?! He wants the first £60K of any money we have after selling (at any point in the future if we split up) and then what's left can be halved. This £60K is from some of his inheritance AND THE £20K that was taken off at the beginning. I have been knocked down sideways...not a clue what to do.
Even though all decisions/purchases have been made by us both because it was 'his' money I'm now losing out if we separate. He also says it's the time and effort hes put in, being a joiner he did most of the work to be fair but obviously I can't do any of that and feel I'm being penalised.
I have always paid the bills, hes paid the mortgage, it's his car I use and hes got a van as well as a kit car. Hes self employed and earns more than me, I feel like I've been shit on from a great height yet in the next breath he says 'but were not splitting up'...what's the big deal then?!

I'm so confused.... 😕

P.s. if we were to split up now, hypothetically, I would be entitled to half from this house

OP posts:
TalkinAboutManetManet · 23/06/2019 18:30

Sorry, but I’m with him.

It only impacts either of you if you split and, if that was to happen, he’s right to protect his inheritance.

Aquiver · 23/06/2019 18:30

I think this is fair - if the situation were reversed and you had both purchased it from your parents / family, you would probably want similar protection. You did buy it from his DF, but doesn't it count for anything that it is his family's asset?

Prisonbreak · 23/06/2019 18:40

I would happily sign something to that effect if my OH asked me to. Assuming he didn’t receive an inheritance you would be no worse off anyway. It was money his family left to him.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General money
Littlegoth · 23/06/2019 18:43

I would sign for the 40k, but he didn’t spend the extra 20k he’s asking for - or am I missing something?

Original poster
Mexico30 · 23/06/2019 18:46

Sorry should have said, I do agree with him, I would do the same. It's the amount hes stipulating and I'm not sure where I stand with that. I personally, and not trying to take what's 'his', dont think he should include the initial £20K from when we bought the house...we paid rent for 3 and a half years and that was some of the money knocked off.

If he were to have the first £60k, once its halved I would walk away with £20k. For living together for 9 years, married, kids never mind the fact it was a joint decision?

Hence the confusion....

OP posts:
Littlegoth · 23/06/2019 18:47

I reread, sort of get it.

Ok, fine, sign it on the agreement that the first 60k of any future inheritances you receive are down as being yours to retain in the event of any break up ....

Littlegoth · 23/06/2019 18:52

I think he’s counting the value knocked off as included in his inheritance. I’d be a bit 🤨 but sort of get where he’s coming from.

user1486131602 · 23/06/2019 18:52

I agree with both of you. I used my 93k inheritance and will get only 1/2 the property in my divorce!

RandomMess · 23/06/2019 18:54

I think he's out of order suddenly bringing this up retrospectively and to include the £20k discount etc.

Would you have made different decisions had he told you that he wanted these amounts protected?

Original poster
Mexico30 · 23/06/2019 18:55

What do you do moving forward? Were looking to do houses up over the years to hopefully then be mortgage free - still pay half for everything? My heads a mess...

@Littlegoth good idea, will have to make sure I'm covered if needed 👍

OP posts:
Original poster
Mexico30 · 23/06/2019 18:59

@RandomMess I think that's what's bothered me the most. I definitely would have done things different. I work part time due to 2 children, not got the chance to work full time therefore not having funds from my side to contribute..but they dont seem to notice that side of it, nor how much I've paid in insignificant bills for 9 years 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Hadalifeonce · 23/06/2019 19:01

I disagree with most people on this one, the £20K discount was to you both. The fact that he is really good at DIY is of benefit to you both; no doubt he will have benefited from some of your skills over the years.
I would not agree to signing up to anything.

catsmother · 23/06/2019 19:04

I'm really sorry to sound cynical, but why is he only bringing this up now when his dad died 4 years ago? I obviously don't know how long it took him to receive his inheritance but I'd have thought any discussion about its usage and ring fencing etc should have taken place then. I do kind of see where he's coming from in some respects but it's the timing of it. Do you feel generally content in your relationship or is there any chance he might be thinking of splitting, hence all of this now?

Original poster
Mexico30 · 23/06/2019 19:04

@Hadalifeonce...what would you do about the inheritance?

OP posts:
Jon65 · 23/06/2019 19:04

You need to take legal advice (confidentially from your husband) as I have some doubt that this arrangement would be valid in the event of a divorce. You may also in the event of a divorce be able to achieve more than 50% of the capital, particularly as you are earning less.

RandomMess · 23/06/2019 19:05

Perhaps you need to have a discussion with a financial advisor where you can bring your side to the table as well.

The fact he never mentioned this before...
The fact you contributed half the rent for 3 years so 50% of the £20k discount is in respect of monies you directly paid....
That you have always contributed in financial and non-financial ways - childcare, housework, wife work etc...
Sorting out a private pension...
Him contributing 50% of childcare costs and 50% of all "wifework" for you to go back to work full time to protect your financial interests...

I would actually be really hurt and wonder wtf is going on that this has suddenly been mentioned after all this time!

Original poster
Mexico30 · 23/06/2019 19:08

@catsmother no, he wont think of splitting. I know that sounds cocksure but he wouldn't! Hence we have big discussions about this and in the next breath he asks if I want a cuppa before bed 😂

He is a caveman when it comes to money...as mentioned hes self employed, I'm part time and its 50/50 straight down the line....always has been. Hes not overly impressed if I ask him for money either....if money wasnt involved, hes a good guy, money is his downfall!

OP posts:
Chottie · 23/06/2019 19:08

OP - I'm really shocked reading this. Why has this suddenly come up?

Hadalifeonce · 23/06/2019 19:08

Assuming the £60K is the inheritance, (cash left to him from his DF) As I read it, that has been ploughed into the property you jointly own and fund jointly to a greater or lesser degree, because there are 2 DCs who need to be cared for. It's like him saying his contribution is greater than yours because it's tangible.

Singlenotsingle · 23/06/2019 19:09

You'll have to take independent legal advice on this. There is a possibility that anything you sign might not be legally enforceable anyway. You're married; any property is considered to be jointly owned; and any contract needs consideration on both sides. You would be giving something away with nothing in return.

LemonSqueezy0 · 23/06/2019 19:14

It's 50/50 even though you work part time and have shouldered the childcare and massive hit to your own career and earning power over the years, all to facilitate his?! Hmm not the nice guy you seem to think tbh.. He's intent on protecting himself, rather than taking care of you and the DC as well...

mollycoddle77 · 23/06/2019 19:16

I'm part time and its 50/50 straight down the line....always has been

Yeah except when it comes to dividing things up in the event of a split it seems! Will you have any inheritance from your family sooner or later? Would that be protected, or the first 60K of that as well in this agreement? It doesn't make any sense to me to suddenly want to do this, and you should definitely get your own legal advice before signing anything. I'd be hurt by this to be honest, as if he doesn't see you as a team.

Original poster
Mexico30 · 23/06/2019 19:16

@Hadalifeonce that's my thinking. I didnt ask him to invest his inheritance, wed actually remortgaged not long before his dad passed away so we could do upstairs. I didn't ask for anything actually from the inheritance, he paid for us to go on holiday twice and the rest was on him....which he is more than entitled too of course

That's exactly what hes said because I dont have building/decorating skills nor money to throw at it...

OP posts:
winterisstillcoming · 23/06/2019 19:17

What if you said no? That's what I'd do. Say you have no intention of leaving him, or splitting up so why is it a problem? Does he have intentions of leaving? If so then why did he get married?

ComeAndDance · 23/06/2019 19:17

I don’t agree. This should have been done AT THE TIME of the inheritance.
I would get some legal advice as I’m really not sure what is or isn’t ok to do (both on a legal POV and to protect yourself in case of divorce, death etc...)