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Original poster

Husbands inheritance in our property

91 replies

Mexico30 · 23/06/2019 18:26

Hi,
This may be long so I apologise!

Basically, my husband and I have been married 6 years, together for 10. I moved in to his house (he lived with his dad) 9 years ago with my 2 year old daughter (from a previous relationship) and his dad moved out. We then paid him rent. Everything was split 50/50 rent and bills wise. We had our son in 2012, married in 2013 and bought the same house from his dad in 2014.

Now, his dad sold it to us £20k below what it was valued for so as we could extend it. We were going to pay him an extra £5k after 2 years. Sadly he passed away in 2015 very suddenly and my husband was left quite a bit as inheritance. We then went on to extend upstairs in 2016.

Fast forward to now and we have sold this house, ready to buy a new one and my husband has now said, out of the blue, he would like something written down officially to say he paid for the work on this house with his inheritance so it's not affected if we ever separate. What?! He wants the first £60K of any money we have after selling (at any point in the future if we split up) and then what's left can be halved. This £60K is from some of his inheritance AND THE £20K that was taken off at the beginning. I have been knocked down sideways...not a clue what to do.
Even though all decisions/purchases have been made by us both because it was 'his' money I'm now losing out if we separate. He also says it's the time and effort hes put in, being a joiner he did most of the work to be fair but obviously I can't do any of that and feel I'm being penalised.
I have always paid the bills, hes paid the mortgage, it's his car I use and hes got a van as well as a kit car. Hes self employed and earns more than me, I feel like I've been shit on from a great height yet in the next breath he says 'but were not splitting up'...what's the big deal then?!

I'm so confused.... 😕

P.s. if we were to split up now, hypothetically, I would be entitled to half from this house

OP posts:

ComeAndDance · 25/06/2019 18:29

Liverpool that’s why it’s worth getting some legal advice when getting married and you have some assets so you can try and ring fence them.
However, I agree that when an inheritance is used for the family, like it is with a home, then it should be part of the common assets because all the maintenance, decorating etc... will have been done by the family, not one partner. It is also where everyone lives....

caringcarer · 25/06/2019 18:40

If you split up now you would get half of value in house. I would refuse to move. I wonder if he is thinking of splitting up with you and so just wants you to sign. Does he do 50% of all childcare and 50% of all household duties? If not invoice him for the extra you do which enables him to work full time. He sounds selfish tbh. If he wants to keep his £40k inheritance separate for himself then so be it as I would refuse to move. If you got a divorce a court would add all assets together and then start from 50/50 anyway. The parent who had child might even get more. Do not sign anything before seeing a solicitor.

TheFaerieQueene · 25/06/2019 18:49

At least he didn’t suggest the £60k as a % of the value of the house, as the amount would rise as the property value rises and he would keep a fair bit more than the first £60k.

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thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 25/06/2019 19:10

All that carpentry that I'm assuming he could do because you were looking after the DC and doing other household chores to free him up the hpurs to do it.

Echoing PPs that he's a selfish, financially abusive cock.

Also not sure I want to know why you have to go cap in hand and ask his permission to use family money. My dsis is married to a bully like your H - they get worse over time not better.

GeorgiaGirl52 · 25/06/2019 19:44

What if you said no? That's what I'd do. Say you have no intention of leaving him, or splitting up so why is it a problem? Does he have intentions of leaving? If so then why did he get married?

AllFourOfThem · 25/06/2019 19:52

I don’t think an agreement would be legally binding so I hope you update once you’ve spoke to a solicitor who can confirm the situation. I would also delay completing on your house purchase until you’ve got all the answers to this - and I would very seriously do some digging around to see if you can find out anything or anyone that could have triggered this.

AnthonyCrowley · 25/06/2019 20:06

Saying this after he's invested it in your home is awful. if he wanted to mention it he should have done it before which would have given you the opportunity to decline the extension and tell him to keep "his" money in his bank account. I'd be very unimpressed. And I say that as someone with a dh who has kept his inheritance in a separate account, and I don't have an issue with that.

AnthonyCrowley · 25/06/2019 20:07

And if you haven't completed on the house sale I'd be putting a stop to it all and taking the house off the market!

mummmy2017 · 25/06/2019 20:10

Judges go on needs. .
Not worth the paper it is written on .

MyToothPain · 28/06/2019 08:06

What happened, op? X

Original poster

Mexico30 · 28/06/2019 19:09

I spoke to his mum for a start as I just couldn't see where this had come from? She had him round for a chat, he ended up apologising last night and said it had got out of hand.
I got a call from a solicitor today who said judges do look at contributions from either side however, that gets looked at less the longer you're married. As has been mentioned they look at children, what each person earns and the needs of each person, so not clear cut 50/50 either...

OP posts:

BackwardsGoing · 28/06/2019 21:14

So what's the outcome OP? Is he dropping it?

Rainycloudyday · 28/06/2019 21:39

I’m astounded that you split bills 50/50 with your HUSBAND when you are working part time presumably to care for children that are BOTH OF YOURS!! What the actual fuck?! The inheritance issue pales into insignificance next to that for me. Why do so many women put themselves into positions like this with men like that?! He’s either thick or a dick if he doesn’t realise or admit to realising that the only reason he isn’t either sacrificing his own earning potential or paying someone a hefty childcare bill is because you’re not working full time and doing it. So how can anyone possibly think that 50/50 bills are appropriate?! You’re meant to be a partnership, a team. That’s not what this is!!

Rainycloudyday · 28/06/2019 21:39

(I recognise that one DC isn’t his but once you’ve had a child together then my point stands!)

stucknoue · 28/06/2019 21:48

Whilst it's a reasonable request it's the motive i question - I would establish whether he's unhappy before you move!

Oliversmumsarmy · 28/06/2019 21:59

I would be billing him for everytime you had to go and collect his dc from nursery, how many hours childcare you have given-to allow him to do his carpentry, how much it would have cost him to have a surrogate give birth to his children, I would make his £60k contribution is taken off all your work that you put in to get you where you are today.

The £20k deduction is a red herring.

Just because someone had said a house is worth an amount if his df has sold it he probably wouldn’t have got the amount it was valued at and he would have had to pay ea fees at the very least 2%+ vat

I think 50/50 when one of you is only p/t is I would consider financially abusive.

I think your dh is mean and this is a misjudged foray into how much he can get off you.

I am damn sure he won’t leave.
He is onto a winner. No other person would agree to a 50/50 split of bills and childcare whilst working p/t

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