Help me stop my toddler from overeating!

[Karmaa]

Since before DD2 even weaned, she was extremely interested in any food that was around her. When I started weaning her, I couldn't believe the way she would literally eat any food. You could purée any veg combo and she would guzzle it up. Problems we had though were, as soon as she saw we were making food, the crying would begin until she was fed it. Then, as soon as her meal was finished she'd scream for more. She was otherwise very placid. Things got worse and basically, she would start screaming during the meal and it became apparent over time that the thing upsetting her was the thought of the meal finishing. It was so bad to the point I couldn't take her into café's or anywhere that food was being served because her melt downs were just so severe. She is now 3 and we still have some issues surrounding food. She basically will not stop eating. She is around the 10th centile for height and the 75th for weight and looks fine (obviously on the chubby side though). When it's just me and her, it's fine. I control portion sizes and give her healthy meals & snacks. To give you an idea of how much her world revolves around food, before she goes to bed for her nap or her night time sleep, she always asks me "mummy is it nighttime or naptime" and when I say "nighttime" she's really happy and says "yay! I get breakfast when I wake up" or if I say "naptime" she is sad because she knows she doesn't get a meal straight after her nap. Bearing in mind naptime comes straight after lunch so she can't possibly be hungry.

Where I'm having real issues is that my best friend has a 1.5 year old who is really picky with food. She grazes throughout the day so whenever we meet said friend, she brings a massive lunchbox full of food. Anything from cocktail sausages, veg, pretzels, breadsticks. She always opens up the box for my DD and hers to get stuck into. I tried saying that my DD shouldn't really be eating at that time because it's maybe an hour before she is due to have dinner but it just becomes impossible. DD gets very upset if she isn't allowed any of the food and then my friend feels bad about it. I resorted to bringing my own packed lunch along whenever we see them, basically full of cucumber sticks, carrot sticks and such to give to my DD but she still ends up eating from my friends lunch box. I did say no to this and told her she has her own but then she'll just cry continually and my friend ends up feeling bad.

I'm finding it so difficult. I don't want to overfeed DD but i don't know how to control these external factors like other people feeding her.

I'll just give you another example to explain how she is around food. The other day, we went to our friends house who had prepared us a lovely brunch. DD had bread, ham & other cold meat, fruit, croissant, yoghurt etc. We left just before 12 and DD said "mummy when we get home can I have morning snack and lunch". I explained that she wouldn't be having those because we had gone for brunch instead. She cried for about 20 minutes straight.

She's obviously eating or wanting to eat for reasons other than being hungry and I'm just not sure how best to deal with this.

Sorry for the long post. Please help!

Honestly? I would take her to the dr.

I can't remember the name of it but I would want her tested for that condition where you literally never ever feel full.

Fingers crossed for you OP, this must be a difficult one to manage

Seconding this. I’d want her checked for Prader Willi Syndrome.

Yes, what pp said. Hope she's ok, OP.

No help I'm afraid but just to show some solidarity. My toddler is always after food, it's constant. Was thinking of going to the GP. none of my friends takes it seriously because they have fussy children so think I'm stealth boasting or something.

Also think Prader Willi needs considered, especially as DD is of short stature. Does she have any learning difficulties, OP, and did you notice any floppy muscle tone in her as a baby?

Is some of it hunger or expectation of routine? My DC are very routine led to the point they cant cope with spontaneous change. Mine wouldn't have understood the concept of brunch overriding snacks and lunch.
Seems like you fill her up on healthy stuff which is great. 75% isn't too high.
I wouldn't worry to much about PW otherwise shed be eating non standard items too.
But see a doc if that will help make you feel more relaxed. The last thing you need is anxiety around food.

My 21 month old is very similar. I don’t allow others to feed her - I’d be telling your friend that you’ll bring DD her own snack box and she’s not to share. And if DD mentions next meal etc can you deflect/add in “Yes, and we’ll go to the park/for a walk/to fetch your sister” or whatever non food thing?

No floppy muscle tone and she has always hit her milestones. She's was walking by 1, is a good talker. With Prader-Willi, would they normally display all symptoms or would it be unlikely for her to have this if she hasn't showed signs of being delayed with her milestones?

She is a little knock kneed and actually a pretty clumsy kid though. She falls quite often. Doesn't quite pick her feet up enough when she runs and runs faster than her legs can carry her, but she's a good climber etc so I just put the falling down to her nature more than anything else.

My 2.5yo is similar. Does yours drink enough? They can confuse thirst for hunger (one of dd1s problems!), another one is boredom. Every time she gets bored she asks for food, then Sarah and duck

She drinks lots of water actually so it can't be that. I really hope it's not Prader-Willi having done some reading up!

What happens if you let her eat as much as she wants at meal times, is she ever full? Does she favour a particular type of food over others, e.g. if she says she's hungry and you offer only veg, no carbs or sweet things, would she eat the veg? Does she fill up with enough protein? Eggs, chicken, yoghurt, peanut butter? And as pp said, is she drinking enough?

Cross post re. drinking

Hi mumundone

She will eat anything really. If I let her keep eating she will just eat and eat and eat. I did try that in the hopes that she would see the effect of maybe feeling uncomfortable but that didn't seem to happen. She eats really quickly. Only thing I have noticed is that if I've let her keep eating, her pace begins to slow down. I wondered if this could be her feeling full? But I'm not sure to be honest.

It really does sound like Prader-Willi. It's good to have a healthy appetite, but not to be obsessed with food.

It absolutely does not sound like PWS.
PWS is a genetic condition where sufferers have developmental delay, reduced muscle tone (which generally affects ability to feed as an infant), exhaustion, distinctive facial features as well as an inability to control eating (will eat anything if food is not available).

Its worth a trip to the GP to discuss OP, but try not to imagine the worst.

That's reassuring notatwork

She definitely displays some of the symptoms listed on nhs website but not all of them.

I don't think it could be PW if there are no other symptoms. OP, I think you're doing the right thing in controlling how much / what she eats. Maybe it would help to make you sure have regular, set meal and snack times, perhaps with the same snack each time, e.g. one piece of fruit and a rice cake, so she gets used to that being a normal amount of food? Lots of veg and protein at every meal as well as complex carbs.

I presume she doesn't go to nursery yet? I wonder if having a very set routine / doing the same as other children / having no access to food outside of set times would help?

But yes, go to GP.

Always amazed by the armchair docs who throw PW out every time someone has a kid who eats a lot. PW comes with loads of other symptoms and would likely have been picked up already.

Can you give us an idea of what a daily food chart looks like for her?

Okay...

So a normal day would look like this.

Breakfast:

A small cup of milk
Fruit musli or porridge

Morning snack:

1 or 2 crackers with a couple of thin slices of cheese and some raisins or dried cranberries

Lunch:

Ham & soft cheese sandwich (one slice of bread)
Yoghurt
A toddler snack bar (like the apple & pear ones or maybe a carrot cake bar thing)

Dinner:

She eats what we all eat so could be any of the following:

Spag Bol and one slice of garlic bread
Chicken pie with steamed veg & some potatoes
Half a Cheeseburger (quarter pounder split between her and her sister) with veg and a small portion of sweet potato fries
Moussaka with some pitta bread

I don't offer her a desert as a matter of course. Just occasionally. So what's above would be a normal days food.

On top of this though is the food she ends up being given by my friend which happens a few times a week. I do try to reduce portions when she has had extra food from my friend.

She is only just turned 3, if that makes any odds.

I should have added into lunch that she also has veg (cucumber sticks or sliced peppers).

That sounds a normal amount of food to me.

Her food is carb heavy with not much fat. I’d be hungry eating that to be honest.

My 15 month old eats more than that! It doesn't look like you're over-feeding her from your description so I would take her to the GP for a chat.

Does she do any excersise? Maybe she can join a trampoline club or something?

So pissed off with these armchair diagnoses of PW. With PW kids often can’t stop eating and they have a whole host of other symptoms including physical ones. Doctors look for it and would have spotted it when she was far younger.

It’s more likely just her being greedy. Suggest that if she likes grazing then don’t give her meals (or if she has meals then don’t let her graze) - Don’t meet your friend with your dd if your friend isn’t listening to you.

This is the amount of food I try to give her but she does have extras here and there.

Are there any good changes I could make to this to fill her more?

I do give her avocado in salads, eggs, she loves peanut butter on toast so gets that normally at weekends (because she becomes a sticky mess before the school run through the week).